And We're Off!

Tomorrow morning we leave for Toronto. Pics to come on Sunday when we return!

Thar She Blocks!

I did it! I finished the bindoff and I soaked and then I rolled (thanks Carrie!) and then I pinned.

I just hope she dries before we get on the plane on Friday morning! Its so super humid here that its hard to breathe, much less hope that a wet wool shawl (MY wet wool shawl) will dry.

She soaks.



She is pinned.



She is very close.



She is even closer.



And I am in love.

Almost There

I am almost finished. Last night I skipped the gym (in my defense, I ran on Sunday and Monday and thus deserved the break) and did the shawl. Its so hard doing those last rows. My fingers ached and it was so hot in my apartment. I had to drop to my skivvies to hold all that wool on my lap. I had 8 rows to go. And I did them. I did four rows and then did the dishes. I did two rows and then did my arm weights. And then I decided to do the last two rows, even though I was exhausted. I only got so far:


What you see is 1/4 of the bind off row. By that time I had no patience left. But this morning after eating breakfast (and while dawdling with my getting-ready-ness) I got past the center marker. So, I now have half a bind off row to go. I am SO proud of how it looks. And I actually think that the color looks right in the photo, too.

Tonight, my plan is to go to the gym, then finish binding off and block. Hopefully it will dry before my plane leaves on Friday morning!

Shawl Slut

I haven't even finished my Leaf Lace shawl (8 rows to go) and I've gone and bought more yarn for a new one. In my defense, this one is for my upcoming travels - a weekend trip to Toronto followed by a week-long trip to Los Angeles.

I got this...



...to make this. I got the pattern even before I got the one for the Leaf Lace shawl and never did anything with it. I thought I would do another Koigu one, and even got some yarn for it but after the LL shawl I am not quite ready to dive into another fingering weight yarn. So, the Lorna's Laces sportweight seemed like the right thing to do. The colors look SOOOOO nice all wound up into cakes. Sigh. I'll be doing it on size 8 needles. I think that sounds about right.

I just hope that the airline security doesn't steal my needles! If anyone has any advice on how to transport the project so that I can knit on the plane, please let me know.

No other photos today... I am limiting myself to the finished LL shawl. I think I could do the 8 rows tonight... if I skip my run!

All's well that ends well... almost

I have the camera. I have the work to post about. But it seems that somewhere along the way, the g-ds stopped smiling.

On Friday, the day after the BBFE (best boyfriend ever) gifted me the camera, I decided it was high time to make my second skirt, and document the process. I only took a few photos, as I was so engrossed in the process that I didn't remember until all the fun stuff was over. But here's the pattern piece of the skirt front:



I was going and going and going and going, even through inserting the invisible zipper:




And here is what happened next:



Yes, that's a few hundred yards of thread (not all pictured), which I yanked out of the bobbin. No, its not bobbin thread. Its sewing thread, the top thread, which should not be pulled out of the bobbin casing. Um, so what happened? I had to wind a new bobbin, because all of the ones my aunt gave me with the machine were used up. I haven't wound a bobbin since my first sewing class over one year ago. And I forgot how. So, while I was figuring it out using trial and error, i.e. winding the bobbin while NOT disengaging the needle from the motor, I was actually forcing thread through the system and around all of the inner workings of the machine. Um, yeah. Super bad. So bad that the thing Stopped Working. And so did my heart.

I had fully intended on finishing the skirt on Friday night. But with no machine, and the waistband facing and hem still to go, how on earth was I going to manage that? Since inheriting the machine, I have become a hand-sewing snob (rightly so). So I pouted. And I consulted my "budget" to see about reapairs v. buying a new machine. And I almost cried a little. But let's fast forward to Sunday morning... and the BBFE's amazing skills in yet another area. The dude takes the machine apart and fixes it. Say wha'?



He's in there with tweezers, my seam ripper and a screwdriver, and he fixes my machine. My hero.

Unfortunately, after working at the store all weekend I got lazy and only finished the waistband last night. I still have to do the hem, and then I'm all set. Finished picture to come tomorrow!

The pretty baby

The pretty baby
Originally uploaded by megannkerri.

I'm tring different ways to get the picture to post to Blogger. I'll be darned pissed if I have to go through flickr every time I want to put a picture up...

Wow. Seriously.

I should have saved this post for later, when I can accompany the Wow with a real, live photo. That's because the coolest boyfriend ever got me a digital camera as a surprise. Now, he's totally the coolest boyfriend ever even without the surprise electronic gifts (this is also the guy who got me an iPod). He is thoughtful and sweet and handsome and generous and funny and smart and loyal and loving and all that good stuff. And he also got me a super cool present! Yay!

Its a Canon Digital Elph somethingorother. I was so excited just to hold it in my hands that I didn't quite pay attention to exactly what it was. But I promise to post a photo of it and many other things v. soon. Like my skirt. And my shawl. And ME!

He said he wanted to get it for my birthday, which is in September. But with our Los Angeles trip coming up, he wanted me to have it sooner. What a sweet heart! Seriously! And now I can take a zillion pictures of our trip, and of Shelley so that I can remember what she looks like during those dark and lonely moments when I miss her so much I can barely stand it.

The best thing I've heard about this so far comes from a friend at work, who proclaimed that she would give up being gay so that she can date my boyfriend. Aw. Now that's the ultimate compliment, no?

And with that, I leave you on pins and needles waiting for the very first picture on Scrambled Eggs. Hooray!

Vend-O-Matic

Right outside my office door is a vending machine. Its right next to the elevator. And on the way to the bathroom. Basically, as I pee a lot, and shuffle between the 5th and 6th floors of my building, I see this thing a million times each day. And I look at it. I peruse its contents. Even when I'm not hungry. Even when I know I don't have any cash on me, not even the 60 cents required for a bag of pretzels. Even though I know that the dudes only come every 2-3 weeks to change/rotate the goods.

I still look.

It has all sorts of food that I don't eat. Like greasy potato chips and sugar wafer cookies. Off brands of breath mints. Pouches of chashews.

And I still look.

What makes me do this? I have what I need right in front of me - I bring a lunch and at least two snacks to work each day. Yet I still look at the crap in the vending machine. I admit, sometimes I buy the pretzels. They are actually pretty good. And when you're too lazy or its too hot or cold or wet to go down to the deli on the corner, they are great. But why do I stare at the Famous Amos mini chocolate chip cookie bag? I don't even like hard cookies.

************

I finished my skirt last night. Finally. The hem was pretty hard, as it is curved. I kind of fudged it a little but after I pressed it you can't really tell I fudged it. I shall ask Mike to take a photo this weekend, and it shall be my first photo. I had inspiration this week - and made some sketches of two items I'd like to make. Hopefully, I shall show some pics soon...

I Guess Its Not SO Bad

Yesterday, Mike said he liked the way my hair looked. I suppose its a good thing when the man you want to find you more beautiful than anyone in the world likes the haircut you detest. Enough about hair. I do not want my legacy to be centered on my lovely locks.

Tuesday Therapy Update: Andrea, my therapist, and I decided yesterday that I am no longer in crisis mode. I almost don't know how to react, but I think she's right. Its been seven years since I watched my father die and almost five since I've been working with her, and I do feel a difference. I can make choices and decisions today that I could not have 5 years ago, or even two years ago. I am starting to feel proactive rather than reactionary. This is big news. And so we decided to focus yesterday's time on the future, rather than the past. Except that I still have trouble picturing the future. I have never been able to do so, aside from being 15 and thinking, sure, I'll go to college. That's pretty much as far as I got. And I think it shows.

I couldn't come up with anything for ten years from now, except that I'd like to have a baby within ten years, as I'll be 36 going on 37 then. For five years from now, the only things I could identify were that I'd like to be married to Mike (hopefully in sooner than 5 years!), I'd like to make/create 40% of my wardrobe, and I'd like to have the money and time to continue my enjoyable pursuits of knitting and sewing. Um, that is it. That's all I could come up with.

So what's missing? Any sort of career direction. Ha. Big surprise. I don't even know what I'm interested in anymore, work-wise. How does one go about figuring that out? Most of my friends have passions that they pursue. Shell has her film stuff. Beth has music. Meredith has her voice-over career. Mike has architecture. My sister has construction. My bro-in-law has chefness. Nicole has wine. And I have technology planning and training? Huh?

Help! Maybe I should take a poll of what I should do for the next five years. Any suggestions?

Ick

Dear Readers,
I got a terrible haircut this weekend. I cried like a baby for half an hour on Saturday morning. I think its partly my own fault, as I know this gal likes to go nutso with the tools. But this is just beyond incredible. We talked about givng me some shorter bangs, which I have. We also talked about leaving it long because I'm trying to grow it out. Um, what happened there?

I. Have. No. Hair. Left.

Except for the bangs. It seems like 2/3 of my hair is bangs. Oh, and the bottom layer of hair is long. So long that it looks like I have a mullet compared to the rest of my hair in bangs. Let me 'splain. I have curly curly curly hair. I also have very very very thin hair. I just so happen to have a lot of thin hair, so people are often surprised with they touch it and discover that I actually do have thin hair. All in all, nice soft ringlets are totally my thing. But not anymore, and probably not again for about a year or so. Yes, a year. That's how much hair she "texturized" out of my mane.

And so I cried. I got out of the shower, styled my hair, and started bawling. Mike had no idea what to do with me. I sat there in my undies crying my eyes out and moaning about how hideous I look and how terrible it is and how incredibly UGLY I feel. I only cried one other time about my hair. I was in college, Freshman or Soph year, and I decided that my fluff was suited to a pixie cut. I was wrong. Very wrong. So wrong that I left the salon my mom goes to (first mistake) and sat in my car, in the parking lot, and bawled. But I think this time is worse.

Now the debate kicks in. Do I get it Fixed? Or do I leave it alone? Leaving it along will sentence me to nearly a lifetime (just allow me this one dramatic moment) of skinny ponytails and mostly bangs. Fixing it will require another cut to bring up the sagging back and kick me out of the long-haired-girls club, at least until it grows back in. Fixing will take the length, what is left of it, to shoulder level or above, and make the entire thing feel a little bit more full. I'm torn. And I don't know if I want to see my Patti anymore for cuts.

Oh, the color looks great. At least the color looks great. I was born to be a redhead, fugly haircut or not.

Your hideousness,
Scrambled Eggs

Blog Envy

I'm having blog envy. I think its because I have no pictures, no computer of my own (I shamefully post at work) and no web skills. I would love to have my own site, or the skils to modify this one. But at the very least I think having a camera and a means to post some photos will make this much more exciting.

Other exciting news? Well, I got in to Hunter. I got a phone call AND an email yesterday:

I am pleased to announce that a space at the school has opened and I am
authorized to invite you to join the incoming class of 2005 at the Hunter
College School of Social Work. Congratulations on your achievement!

If you are interested in attending for fall 2005, there are several
documents to complete in order to process your registration and field work.

Please contact me as soon as possible at the above e-mail or by telephone
at 212 xxx xxxx.

Once again, please accept my warmest congratulations.

Great. Thanks. I'm supposed to be really excited about this. And I am, I think. And I'm not. I'm more relieved that I actually got accepted because of my overachieverpride thingy. They called me on a Thursday and want to know by Tuesday. That's fast. You know what, fuckers? You want me to make this decision in less than one week while you dick around for MONTHS with your applications? You put me on this ridiculous roller coaster to shoot me down and then pick me up? And I repeat - less than one fucking week? Fuck you.

Um, can you tell I'm angry? My therapist will be so proud that I'm expressing this anger at them. But that's besides the point - the big deal now is what do I do? How do I know what the authentic feeling is? Do I want to commit time and money to this when I'm not sure? Am I unsure because of the delays? Or am I unsure because I tried to convince myself that this was what I wanted when all I wanted was direction? Did I convince myself that I didn't want it when I thought that they didn't want me? Or do I now not want them because I know that they DO want me?

I'm leaning towards not going. Its so much money and I just don't know if I'm cut out for it. I would like more time. But that's another thing - I had all the time in the world with NYU and I still don't want to go there. Doesn't that mean something? What will more time with Hunter give me? And, what on earth do I want to do with my career-life? For once I can say that I'm happy with my life-life. But this whole job thing just sucks.

Say Wha'?

Its 10:40 in the morning and I just ate a bag of Baked Lays. Is that bad?

Also on the Might-Be-Bad list:

1. I still haven't finished the dumb hem on my dumb (cute, really) skirt. Its all I have left to do, and then I can actually Wear It. Um, what's holding me back?
   
2. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and I want to make a change but I don't know what I want to do. Improvising on this is definitely on the might-be-bad list.
3. Bangs. I think I want shorter bangs. Enough said.
4. Ok, that's it.

I thought I had more might-be-bad things. Now, onto the For-Sure-Good things:

1. I think I can finish a shawl I've been working on since last summer (link only goes to the shawl page, I'm making the Leaf Lace Shawl, 5th from the top). I started it last summer and worked on it until the number of stitches got soooo big that I got scared, and then I didn't work on it for about 9 or 10 months. I now keep it at my weekend job, and knit when nobody's in the store. Last weekend, I completed another set of rows, and now only have to repeat those 12 rows about 4 or 5 more times before I can start the edging, etc. I could probably do it in the next three weekends, which would be pretty great.I want to finish it before I start the other shawl I'm interested in. Whew.
2. My sweet sweet M. is having a big party tonight at work, and I am so so so so proud of him for the amazing job he's done. I hope he knows that, and I hope he's proud of himself, too.
   
3. I'm wearing a super pretty dress in honor of said party, and a For-Sure-Good thing is that I feel sexy and beautiful today. That's definitely a rarity where I come from.

Ok. I think I like lists a little too much.

And, I vow to be a better blogger, and to get some freaking pictuers up in this piece. Bor-ing, I know.

Perspectives

I had a v. interesting e-mail conversation with my sister yesterday. For me, it showed how far I have come in listening to what people say and don't say, and examining situations in a larger perspective. Also, giving people a fair chance, good communication skills, etc. Blah blah blah therapy works for me. Blah.

My sister has a good friend who, after getting married, is moving to another town. This friend, J., is also my nephew's godmother (yes, I know we're Jewish, don't ask). J. is notoriously hard to make plans with and it frustrates my sister. The situation is coming to a head at this point in time becuase J. is leaving and my sis wants to spend time with her, and knows that if she wants that time, she'll have to ask for it. But my sister, being a part of my family, is stubborn and as such doesn't want to ask J. to spend some time with her but rather wants J. to be overwhelmed by friendly feelings and make the time for my sis without her having to ask. Which isn't gonna happen - J. is packing, making plans to switch jobs, moving, and has a zillion things on her mind. Not good enough for my stubborn sister!

What I have learned in my life, thus far, is that sometimes you have to ask for basic things, even if you think they are so basic you should never ever have to ask for them. Like seeing your good friend before she leaves for another state. Becuase, each person's "basic" is different. Sure, we all wish people would behave differently than they do in certain situations. But if you expect something from somebody, and don't tell them you expect it, its unfair to punish them when they naturally do not come through for you. That's not good communication, and all you are doing is hurting yourself. Its easy to say, hey, I really would like to see you do XYZ, because it would mean a lot to me. Give that person a chance.

I'm sure some people are out there thinking, heck no, biatch. There are totally things that you shouldn't have to ask for, like love or respect or whatever. But I say not always. Everyone is different. Sure, you shouldn't have to ask for compassion. But some people offer it in different ways, and if you know that you need verbal compassion but your friend can only deal with physical compassion, you have the right to ask them to try and give you what you know you need. Let them decide if they want to give it or not. Don't punish them beforehand because you think they are incapable of it. You dont' know if they are capable until you ask them to try. And if it means enough to them, if you mean enough to them, my guess is that they'll try anything to make you happy. You cannot expect people to read your mind and then blame them for failure when they can't.

I'm happy to report that my sister sent J. an email saying that she'd like to see her before she leaves. I have no idea if J. will make the time for her and my nephew, but I think it was important for my sister to reach out and give her the chance to make my sister happy.

Now I'm Responsible

I did it. I signed all the paperwork, allocations included, for my 401k. Its done. I'm committed to staying here until I vest. And, interestingly, my coworkers who were privvy to my school plans are all really supportive of my staying. Some of them (the important ones) even said that they had been holding back on giving me good work because they knew I had one foot out the door. Interesting. I can't say I blame them, but I'm also glad to know that I'll be back in the game for some meaty projects that will hold my interest and stretch my brain. I actually feel good about my choice. Yes, the Prezzy is totally bonkers, but what's to say that the next place I go to will have a different dynamic? At least this is a known quantity, and one I can deal with (thus far, anyway).

I think I should give this place a chance. I never really did, you know? When I got here last July, I had NYU in my pocket and the promise of Hunter. I was SURE that I would be leaving on exactly one year, and so I didn't really try too hard and basically tried to stay under the radar. Then my position shifted and I became a lot more integral to a particular piece of our work, and even started to like it. And now, I can move in even more directions, as I have definitely developed amazing skills here and can see how they can apply in different situations.

On another, equally important note, I am ALMOST done with the coolest skirt ever. Yesterday I assembled the fronts and backs, connected them with my super awesome invisible zipper foot, corrected a minor mistake (really, you can't even tell) and prepped it for finishing. All I have left is to topstitch down the yoke lining and do the hem. It is So. Freaking. Cute. And I can't wait to wear it!

The pattern size I chose (a size 10 in pattern sizes, which are completely different from store sizes, where I were a 0) is a little big. I adjusted the seam allowances on the sides, thinking this may happen, and its still a bit roomy. Nothing major, as I'll just wear it lower on my hips. But I think that the next time I make this skirt (I already have two other fabrics purchased and ready to go) I will hang the pattern piece 1/4 inch off the edge of the fold. That will make the front and back each 1/2 inch less wide, for a one inch loss total. I have to re-check my measurements on the finished skirt to be sure, but I think that would work for me. Maybe 3/4 inches would be better total, but we'll see. I have to learn to think in centimeters, as its so much easier when sewing. I can't really handle all the eighths in my math-retarded brain.

I asked M. about taking some pictures so that I can finally add some spice to this lame-o blog. Perhaps I can sweet-talk him into doing it this weekend.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

My boss (the Prez of the organization) called me this morning to ask why I was not participating in the pension plan. The amazing pension plan, I might add. If I contribute 5%, the org will match 14.3%, fully vested in 18 months from date of hire. In a 401(k), a real pension, not the lame-o 403(b) that nonprofits are usually stuck with. I hadn't participated in it because I thought that I'd be out the door 6 weeks from now, and couldn't spare the extra cash without something in return.

But she called me. And asked me why. This is not unusual for her - she tends towards the Slash-And-Burn style of management. And I stammered a little and said, "Well, you know, I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I know its the right thing to do for my future, but its hard to give up the extra cash from my paycheck given my expenses right now." She said that, speaking from an older woman perspective, that this is something really important that I shouldn't pass up. And that she wished that she had someone to tell her to do it when she was my age. What could I say? I said, sure. I'll do it.

I have a meeting with the HR rep today to do the paperwork.

But here is the dilemma: if I do this, I want to do it only to get the fully vested match. Which means I'm committing to stay here until January 2006. I know, that's only like 7 months away, but still, that's a long time. What should I do? I'm comfortable here, regardless of whether I enjoy my work. I have amazing hours (I'm out at 4:30 each day) and my commute is only about 25 minutes. My salary is decent. Its less than I was making at my old job (from which I was fired, but that's another story) but its comparable to someone my age in my field, if a little on the lower side. I wish it was more, sure, but that could change in October, when raises are given. And there's no guarantee of making more $ if I switch jobs, and less so if I switch industries, which I am wont to do these days.

If I do the pension, then I won't look for a new job. Its that simple. And given that my resume and cover letter are 95% complete, this is pretty serious.

Oy, the drama. Help! Seriously, help!

Life Post-Hunter

I'm not gone. Lost and forgotten, perhaps, but not gone. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and its hard to keep track of it all. Or even some of it. But here goes:

First of all, I read about this book today and I totally want to read it. How amazing does that sound? It totally taps into my interest in specific cultures. Not necessarily cultures in the form of the Nuer in Africa, but I guess sub-cultures of American life. I'm all for non-fiction, but in that category I mostly read memoirs of mental illness and anorexia. I've had a mental illness (panic and/or general anxiety disorder) but as of yet, I can't check that eating disroder box. Not such a strange interest combination when you think about, I guess. To be perfectly honest, I'm rather surprised I don't have an eating disorder. My life spun out of control at 16 and I've spent the last 10 years trying to put it back in order. Through my literature review, I know that eating disorders are about control, and goodness knows that's my biggest issue. Well, thank goodness for the little things, right?

Speaking of interests, what do I want to do with my life? Make that job. I know how I want to live my life. I didn't make the MSW program at Hunter (and even though NYU offered me a scholarship to do the same thing, I'm still feeling a little worthless about this), and I was so relieved. I don't know if that's about my incredible distaste for Hunter itself, or in Social Work as a career choice. To be blunt, the idea of making zero money for the rest of my life is no longer appealing. I want a job/career that pays me well enough to support my other interests, like sewing this skirt or being crafty or spending time with the people I love or joining a new gym like I did yesterday (thank goodness for that). I know that SW won't give me that. At least for about 10 years out of the program. By which time I'll be 40... yikes. I don't want to wait until I'm 40 before I begin to live comfortably. But where does that leave me now? I obviously don't want to commit to any MSW program right now. Let's look at the facts:

1. I have now had and turned down two chances to go to NYU for this program. If that doesn't smell of lack-of-commitment, I don't know what does.
2. I felt an enormous relief at making the waiting list for Hunter, thinking at first, thank g-d I don't have to go through with this.
3. I feel like I have been convincing myself that SW is the way to go - because I want to do good things. This is without a single volunteer experience in the field - what do I really know about the work? Plus, I can do good things without resigning myself to a poor wage and little respect career-wise - I can get involved in my community, I can do lots of things that will make a difference while working my way up somewhere else.
   
4. Oh yeah. I have this overwhelming desire to get out of the nonprofit sector. Immediately.
   

Ok, bad list, I know. But what now? I have been working on my resume and sample cover letter and I'd like to start getting it out there sometime next week. I figure I'll start with recruitiers and headhunters and move on from there. Tell them that I'm interested in a career change and am considering XYZ because of these super duper skills I have, and what can they think of that would mesh nicely with that?

Wow. After re-reading this, I decided that I'm pretty boring these days. Aside from the super-fabu skirt-making. I have all the pieces cut on said skirt and I shall assemble them tonight after I sweat my ass off at the gym. Hooray for getting back into the game!

How Are You Not Dead Yet?

Given my troubles outdoors today, I would like to suggest some guidelines for pedestrians. As in those idiots you see walking down every street in Manhattan.

1. Look where you are going. Ah, I know, this sounds too easy. But at different points in our lives we all realize that common sense isn't all that common. So, pedestrain, keep your frigging eyes open. It's easier than you think. That way, you can see where you are going and what is in front of you. Which leads me to my next point...
2. Look where you are going. In case Rule #1 was not clear enough, looking where you are going means keeping your head pointed in the direction you are going. As in, when you exit the subway doors and begin walking to the left towards the stairs, do not look to the right at the other people exiting the subway. Do you know why? Because the subway has lots of doors with lots of people exiting and each of them walking a different direction. It is not their job to help you figure out which way you'll be walking, nor is it nice of you to make every single person on the platform walk around you while they try to figure out why on earth you have your head up your ass or how you made it out of bed this morning, much less tied your very own shoelaces.
   
3. Be aware of your surroundings. That means do not stop to fidget with your zipper at the corner of Canal Street while 300 people are waiting behind you to cross the street. That also means step to the side if you are going to gab with your expensive-looking bohemian-outfitted over-processed dyejob girlfriend about her date last night with the cute boy from the bar while also talking on your cell to your mother about needing Daddy to write you another check, all while strolling so slowly down Prince Street during lunch-time that you may as well be going backwards. Its not so fun (or nice) to make other people drag their heels behind you or try to dart around you as though they are in a real-live game of Frogger.
4. Keep it moving. You are in the fastest city on the planet. Get outta the way if you aren't going the speed everyone around you is going. Sounds similar to Rule #3, right? There's a reason for that, people, and its called being something important to pay attention to.

These things aren't so difficult. Do you remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle? And when you turned your head to hear what your Dad was saying about being careful, you turned the handlebars, thus the bike, and thus you to the side as well? And do you remember when you learned that you could still move forward while looking around? Its the same principle, really. Keep your tootsies on the move, check your surroundings, and most of all, get out of my way.

Oh, and I didn't get in to Hunter. The Big H put me on their waiting list.

Where Does It All Go?

I bought some things yesterday. I've been doing that a lot. I talked to M. about it this morning and I think its a reaction to The Big H. All this stress is making me act out in ways that exaggerate my normal functioning. Like shopping. Sure, I shop a lot but I've grown really good at using only cash and never credit, as I'm doing well in digging myself out of that hole. But these past few weeks its like I've been on a bender. A fashionable bender, and one that leaves a similar hangover.

In my defense, I have returned many items that were just too expensive or not entirely perfect, so the total amount isn't astonishing by any means. And 80% of it has been purchased with cash, so its still acceptable according to my own financial rules.

I am also allowing myself to purchase things knowing (or at this point, hoping and perhaps dying) that I'll be on no income for the next two years while in graduate school. So, its a good idea to stock up on basics like underwear and stuff while I have the money to do so. But come on. This is ridiculous. I should be saving my cash for food for the next two years instead of replacing worn-out jeans.

Whatever. I'm sick of talking about that.

On to what I purchased yesterday - and about which I am SO excited. I got two hats. TWO HATS. This is a momentus occasion, for two reasons. The first reason: I am very pale. So pale that I often glow in sunlight. Pale enough that I'm almost pink and blotchy. Pale enough that any amount of sunlight translates into a burn, and at least once a year, some form of sun-poisioning. Its pretty bad. I also think I tend to be funny-looking. I have a longer oval face which makes things like wearing hats make me look strange. Even though I try, knowing that its a great idea for me to keep the sun off of my face. But yesterday changed everything. I got something very similar to this hat on sale for $10 (mine doesn't have the band around the brim, but rather around the hat portion) and a cowboy-inspired straw hat as well, from American Eagle. They don't have it on their web site for some reason. Can you beat it? I don't think so. Two hats. Two ways of protecting my face. Hooray for hats.

But boo for sunglasses. Mine broke yesterday. Very upsetting. I'm the type that sticks with sunglasses forever. In high school, I got a funky orange pair from St. Mark's Place that I wore through to the end of college. Then, right after college graduation, I got a pair that lasted until last summer, when I got the pair that just broke. After one year. Less than a year, actually. I bought a pair yesterday that I think I'm going to return after work today. Oh well. You win some and lose some. I think I'm happy enough with the two hats not to tempt fate and try for two hat and a pair of glasses.

Wow. I imagine this was quite boring. My appologies. Something snappier and such awaits you tomorrow.