Musings

This weekend is my last at the store. I am so glad for this, really. Its been a good run there. I learned that I am fairly good at sales, that I like helping people find things that look good on them, and that isolation in an 8 foot square for 14 hours over two days really helps the knitting along. I liked the introduction of Saturday night date-night with my honey. And, the adventure has paid for my other adventure, my great big fabulous amazing vacation.

But I sure am glad to be having my weeknds back. I miss lazy Saturday mornings with Mike, lounging on the couch watching old movies until one of us gets hungry for pancakes, which we then make. I miss lazy Saturday afternoons with Mike, lounging on the couch watching old movies until one of us gets hungry for lunch, which we then make. I miss going out on Friday and Saturday nights without the fear of I-Have-To-Go-To-Work-Tomorrow. I miss being able to see my family, especially my amazing nephew, who I can only see on weekends due to travel time. I miss just having plain old time to relax, to sit still in my own home and be present in my own life, rather than worrying about the rich girl who can't decide if she wants to buy the $98 halter top or the $108 tube top to go with the $128 skirt. There. That outfit costs more than I'll make in the weekend. I'm so done with that!

Dear Scrambled Eggs,
Please do not waste your time now that you have it back. On your weekends, please:

• Make the dress. The pattern is cut, so just cut the fabric and sew it up. You'll be glad you did.
  
• Make the blue top. You've been wanting it for so long. Use that amazing idea you had about the button loop closure for the low scoop back. It'll look so rad.
• Make the One Skein Wonder, you've been aching to start it. Just do it, already. The yarn is perfect and you'll totally wear that shrug a million times a week. At least.
  
• Keep taking pictures for the blog. People really like the pictures, and its nice to see results. On that note, finish some things, ok?
  
• Enjoy life.
  

Sincerely,
Your conscience

What's The Benefit?

I was startled and interested to read this article in today's New York Times. I have terrible skin that is actually doing pretty well right now, but I will ALWAYS consider my skin terrible. At my last visit to the dermatologist who put me on a topical regimen that actually seems to work, or at least hold the most gross parts at bay, he mentioned the same thing.

I was talking about how I'm 26 years old and I'm still having the skin trouble of a teenager. I'm also very sensitive about it and get embarassed so easily if someone points it out (which they never do) or if I notice something awry. After moaning and groaning about how this can't really be my fate, forever, he said this - Try asking yourself What's The Benefit? He went on to describe that oftentimes, patients, or people, hang on to things that they perceive to be bothersome simply because on some level they gain something from it. In my case, the situation would be that I psychosomatically produce my acne or keep it around or something, because of some other reason. Um, like I really want to feel freaking ugly all the time? Not so much. But then, when I started thinking about it, some things began to make sense.

Its easy to hide yourself behind a mask, if you will, much easier than showing a true face to the world. By "keeping" my acne, I could be doing several things. Maybe I am clinging to my youth, perhaps to the time before my father got sick and died when I still believed in life and protection and possibility. Maybe I am using it to hide behind, as in its easier to be confident when you think that noone is looking anyway because of your ugly face. Or maybe its easy to feel ugly so that you can blame shit on it or not have ot deal with being pretty and the social pressures that come with it.

If these are the benefits, is it worth it? If I let go of this shield, what's really going to happen? In all likelihood, I'll just feel better about myself. Or be less focused on the physical attributes of my face and more on what's going on inside my head. Though, I don't know how much more focused I can be in there without spontaneously combusting. But seriously. There is no benefit to emotionally clingling to acne. Its a manifestation of other, deeper ills. I don't need acne to miss my dad or to be at peace with the girl whose life ended after hearing the words, "Daddy has cancer." I don't need acne to hide behind instead of owning my true nature. I can be beautiful without qualifications or quantifications. Or whatever. Now I'm just getting soapbox-y.

Ain't That Sweet

Today, I shall leave you with a picture of true love:


This is from Saturday, at my sister's 30th birthday party. Isn't my love so cute? He is truly the most amazing man, and I feel so lucky to be the one he loves.

Aw.

Almost Lazy Morning, Definitely Lazy Eye

I'm at home this morning, as I wait until it is time to leave for my eye doctor appointment. There's always something wrong with me, you see? Its my left eye this time, the one I don't usually use. But I would still like to keep it. There's something, um, protruding from my eye. Its pretty inflamed and swollen, but in the great words of my great doctor, if it isn't oozing, you're probably in good shape.

In honor of my non-oozing eye, I'd like to present the first photos of my next project. Not the dress, though I did cut the pattern pieces for that two nights ago (just the pattern itself, not the fabric). Its a baby blanket for BBFE's sister, who is due in February. I'm using the pattern from the first Stitch N Bitch book. Its pretty repetitive but I'm finding it quite soothing and definitely engaging. I always loved seed stitch from the moment I learned to knit, and I like that its used as a border. I find myself excited about the switch of stockinette panels, though I am not there yet. Its good for working on in the store, as there's not much focusing you have to do on it and its easily picked up and put down.

I'm using the Lorna's Laces Shephard Sport that I initially got for a shawl. I knit up a few inches of the shawl with it and it was all wrong. That weekend we learned of the baby, and voila. I am still so in love with the colors. I hope they show up here well - its the Glenwood.

Blanket, far:


Blanket, corner:

Booger?

Every time I type in the URL for Blogger, I always start writing "booger" before I catch myself and correct it to Blogger. So, this is my boog, or um, blog. Right-o.

I'm having a shoe dilemma. I have a lot of shoes. And I always want more. I'm good about buying them - I shop sales and Filene's Basement and other savvy resources, you know? But its still buying a lot of shoes, so even if they are less expensive shoes than they could be, they are still sucking money. The BBFE likes to joke (or not really joke if you ask him) that I need a new room for my shoes. In my defense, I wear almost all of them, depending on the season and how aggressive I am about heel repair (note to self - fix those dumb shoes already!).

I see so many sales these days and I am in love with these two pairs of shoes from Bandolino. I initially looked at their site because I got a pair of that brand from the aforementioned Filene's Basement, and they are so cute and sassy and SO COMFORTABLE. So these and these are going to fulfill my every shoe fantasy, right? Probably not. It just so happens that they are a ridiculously good price for shoes of that quality and comfort, if you ask me. Will buying these prevent me from buying new shoes in the fall? Probably not. Will it make me happy to have them? Sure. But is it dumb to buy them now knowing that its too freaking hot to wear them until at least one month from now, at the earliest?

Perhaps I should consider paying off my vacation before I consider buying two new pairs of shoes. But they are super cute, aren't they?

Phinally, Photos

The tote herself (and my mom's torso):


The beautiful tote, with its lining (and gift) displayed:


The vintage button detail:

Totes and Totes

This weekend I was so crafty. On Thursday I went to my cheap-o fabric store downtown and got some stuff for my sister's tote bag birthday present, as well as some great stretch cotton for a sundress pattern I got a while ago. Then, on Friday night I came home and made the tote. I didn't take pictures of the work-in-progress, but I do have some of my mother holding it up during the party, after my sister opened the gift.

But right now it seems like Flickr is being difficult, so I may not be able to post any photos just now. Trust me when I say it looks really cute. There is a contrast lining and I added a vintage shank button and a loop clasp, something I had never done before.

I forgot how easy it is to make those bags. Perhaps I'll start doing more of them, as they are so much fun! And, aside from the button (which I attached twice) it only took one hour. Yay for quick craftyness!

Second Day Hair

I'm having a problem, and as I'm the only curly-head of my friends, I'm not sure who to turn to. Here's the deal. I have curly hair (see any photo on this lame-o blog) and I also have thin hair. My curls a big and ringlet-y, and sometimes fall out by the second day. And that's the big problem, since I only wash my hair every other day, so at least 3 days of the week, I am wearing day-old hair. Usually I just pull it back, but since the bad haircut, I can't do that without having the tiniest ponytail and tufts of fuzzy badness sticking out the top. While sleeping with the air conditioner, I've noticed that second day hair is better than normal, so I've started wearing it down. But, it needs something. A little ooomph. A little je ne sais quoi. I just don't know where to turn!

I would like something that I can spray onto my dry hair to give the curls a little bit more life and bring some shape back to the top/roots. I don't want a wax or anything that's hand-applied like that as it will only pull more curl out upon application. It needs to be something that can get on there that I can then smoosh around using my regular curl-with-gel-and-diffuser moves on hair washing days.

I've taken some time this afternoon to do some research and came up with one possibility - Catwalk Curls Rock Curl Booster. But who knows? Its $15 a bottle, which I think is a big investment in something I have no way of knowing will work (yes, I'm poor enough to translate $15 into 3 lunches or 5 Tasti-D-Lites). And yes, I am researching hair products while at work, but hey - its a summer Friday. Back off.

I don't know who even reads this thing anymore (or ever, for that matter) but if anyone has any suggestions about day-old curls, drop me a line and I'll give a big shout-out. In fact, there may even be a prize for someone who suggests something that works...

You Can't Eat Yogurt With A Fork

I have been meaning to write so many things here, but work has been so crazy on a big deadline and the nights are just too hot to move, much less think.

My love for NYC definitely wanes in the summertime. You sweat your face off while waiting for the subway, only to be sandwiched between a fat smelly dude and a nearly naked lady whose damp hair keeps brushing against your arm once you finally catch your train. It just makes you want to stay home, until you remember that your apartment is actually an oven, even with the 3 fans you have pointed at your head at all times and the fact that you haven't worn anything more than underwear around the house in a week.

Last night I was actually inspired to do some designing and it just hurt too much to think. I do have some great ideas, though. If only it were cool enough to sit in front of the sewing machine! I suppose listing the things here couldn't hurt:

• Deep scoop back tank top in the teal sweatshirt material (almost ready to go - I just have to modify one pattern and see how it works out)
  
• Halter top in goodness knows what (probably a geometric print, if I can find one that I like), but design is schemed out, sort of
• Some sort of skirt for the pink bubble/dot fabric that I love so much

Ok, so maybe it seemed like more last night. But it was more thinking than I had done at home in some time. Oh how I can't wait until the store closes and I have my weekends back! Joy! Just one more Sunday and one more full weekend and I'm so outta there. Freedom, here I come. I just hope the heat lets up so that I don't wind up wishing I was in the air conditioned store!

Ah, life

I puked this morning. Three times. I hate puking. A lot.

I don't quite feel human. I have a sinus headache the size of North America. I'm pretty sure its unrelated to the puking, but it only makes things worse. Like puking. Have you tried it when your head is already killing you? True, it distracts from the extreme stomach cramping but what kind of bargain is that? I prefer better odds, personally.

I think its from my Pill. Last night was the first night of the new cycle, and sometimes I get queasy the next morning. But its never ever ever been like this. Only one other time did I actually dry heave, and it ended when I got some food in my belly. Today was a whole new world. One I don't wish to play in. But what's a girl to do? Stay home from work, that's right!

Alas, no rest for the weary. The upstairs assholes are playing basketball in the house, again. And the downstairs assholes are blaring bass so loud that I can feel it vibrating in my head and limbs when I rest my poor tired body on the couch. Stomping on the floor doesn't seem to help much... neither does poking at the ceiling with a broom. My only solace is that in one more hour, I'd due for more Sudafed.

I acutally have some interesting things I'm thinking about and would love to discuss here, but not today. Perhaps tomorrow, when I anticipate being more alive...

And I'm Back

Here I am. Back in good old NYC. I missed it here! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE vacation and I truly loved Los Angeles, but it sure is good to be home in my own bed, with my own pillows, and my own shower, and my own everything.

I was thinking about the things to write here and the stories to tell, but I think its too much for all at once. So today, I will leave you with some photos and toss the adventures in one by one.


Mr. Johnny Walker, aka BBFE. This was after the wedding we attended. Way after. But isn't he so cute?


Me and my best friend, upon my arrival. Boy was it good to see her again. Blasted LA! Stealing my girl!


Me and my honey. Aw. Today is our first day apart, as he is back at work and I took a few extra days. I am experiencing withdrawl. Its kind of sick, actually.

More to come, as soon as I remember everything!

LALA Land

I love LA. I really do.

We just ate some In-N-Out burgers. Yum. I was initially scared of the special sauce, but then grew to love it. And tonight is shabu-shabu and some kareoke (sp?). Yay. And previously, we did more eating (g-d bless my neverending hunger) and some sightseeing. Nothing too touristy, but still enough to see the city. And I love the driving! Its so much fun and I rarely get to do it these days.

And, my bestest friend will be there, and I'm so glad to have this time with her now.

More upon my return!

I'm Back And Then I'm Gone

We safely returned from Toronto. It was great. Saying it was great doesn't quite do it justice, but I don't know what else to say right now. It was so incredible to meet Mike's family and be a part of their world for a little while. Seeing someone's history is a great way to really become a part of their life - you learn where habits come from, why he says that word a certain way, why his favoite Aunt is truly his favorite Aunt... it was great.


The CN Tower peeking out

And now Blogger won't let me post any more photos - I had a great one of the shawl making her debut. Oh well. I'll try again later. And I'll figure out how to include a gallery... I have a lot to learn here!

Off to LA tomorrow morning. And when I say morning, I mean our flight is at 6:45 AM. Um, that's really early.