Race Day!

I. Am. Awesome.

How awesome am I? I ran my 3.5 mile race, with 5,000 other runners/walkers in

35:30

That's thirty-five minutes and thirty seconds. That's two and a half minutes down from my practice run on Friday evening, and a minute faster than my first ever 5K (3.1 miles). My goal was under 40 minutes, and I more than beat that.



This is me, eating a peach right after crossing the finish line. Note the dorky knee brace (for stability) and the red face. Trust me, the red face is much more red and eggplant-y in person. Plus, the sweat. Oh, the sweat. It was nice and breezy at Jones Beach, but it was still humid and for the first part of the race, the sun was kinda hot. But I loved every second of it.

Oh, and I started the heel flap on my Jaywalker on my LIRR rides yesterday. I love the k1 sl1 heel flap - so awesome. But, not as awesome as me.

I suppose that awesome is the word of the day. I feel great. Hooray!

Say Wha?

I did this today:

What NYC yarn store are you?

You are The Point!http://www.thepointnyc.comYou want it all. You might have a hankering for the most luxurious handpainted silk yarn. Or maybe a couple of skein of Kureyon. Don't worry, you can sit down, have a latte and absorb it all...
Take this quiz!








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And its interesting, because I have only been there one time. Don't get me wrong, it was great. The gal I spoke to was lovely, but I didn't purchase anything. I couldn't find a thing that interested me. Not a pattern (I was looking for a rectangular lace shawl at the time) or even a skein of something lovely to hold on the subway ride home. I know that lots of people love it and there's some Friday night thingy that happens there... I was surprised.

I favor Downtown Yarns and Purl. Interesting, the first time I went into Purl, I was so intimidated that I left almost immediately. But its now where I spend most of my yarn money (mostly because its expensive, no?) I felt right at home at Downtown Yarns right away, and think its my number one.

This morning on the LIRR (I'm working from the HQ today) I picked up my forlorn Jaywalker that I started in February. Yes, February. I started the heel flap and its so exciting. I love how the knit one slip one is looking and I can't wait to finish and start the other foot.

I'm feeling better today. I think I've relaxed a bit and am once again ready to face the world. And tonight is my race! It's 3.5 miles, and my goal is to complete in under 40 minutes. My test run on Friday night was 38 minutes, so I figure I'll give myself two extra minutes to deal with outdoor running and the hills that I just learned are part of the course. I'll let you know how I did!!

Best of Times or Worst of Times? Mostly Worst.

I feel so battered right now. Could it be due to the asshole who manhandled me on the subway platform in his effort to RUN FOR THE TRAIN? I swear, this man tred to pick me up by grasping the outer edge of my shoulders and lift me clean off the ground to get me out of his way. I have a slight bruise blooming on my right shoulder, but I'm more startled than hurt. C'mon, fucker. There's an E train every 30 seconds in the morning at 34th Street. There was no reason for you to hurt me to make just this one. No job is that important that you have to hurt a girl in your effort to get there. I can only pray for karma, right?

But that isn't what really hurts me right now. I just did something that I have only done one other time in my life - I have called my therapist and asked for an emergency appointment. How's that for ominous?! I'm fine really, sure, I'm just fine, its only that I can't stand to be inside my own head and I think I need a wee bit more help right now and waiting until next week just isn't going to cut it.

(Edited, sorry if you missed it)

I'm sure I'm making a terribly psychotic impression on the Fort Greene knitting gals I met this weekend. I truly had a great time and hope that we can do it again. It just so happens that I need a little time like Saturday in my life right now, so it couldn't have come at a better moment. Thank you all for a lovely day!

Clarification

I feel like I must clarify my post from yesterday. Not defend, just clarify. Especially since Blogger has the no-reply-comments-thingy.

I know that looking at rings means that we're getting closer. But the looking has been dragging on for months. Months. With zero movement. How do I know its zero movement? We are inheriting a family gem for the ring (oh so luckylucky!), and I am positive that the trade-off has not been made. No diamond = no ring = no engagement, though I have said time and again that I don't need a stinking diamond to get engaged. Just ask me! Plus, I happen to know that my true love is a procrastinator of the finest form. Procrastination + no diamond = no ring = no engagement. Oh, that and the fact that we've been together for almost 5 years. Almost five years + procrastination + no diamond = no ring = no engagement. Something is seriously wrong with that equation, no?

I think because I know its coming, it makes it harder to see how far away we really are. I just feel like he's never going to get around to it for one reason or another. And believe me, I know for sure that its my own psycho-emotional business that's gotten me into this thought pattern in the first place, but I find it hard to break that thought habit. I think there's only one way to break it, and I just don't trust anything enough to hold my breath waiting for it. And I can think of lots of reasons why he shouldn't do it, which is even worse. For starters, my dad-business. I don't think I actually want a wedding without my dad there, and unless I find a retroactive cure for cancer, that ain't happening. I think he may also on some level be punishing me for our short breakup. I dunno. This is what happens when I spend too much time peeking into my own brain. Must remember to stop doing that.

Moving on.



I'm making this. I got some loverly fabric from Mood, a cotton sateen with a branch print in two shades of cool blue. So appropriate and so awesome. I cut the pieces the weekend before last, but its been way too hot to sit at my kitchen table to begin sewing. I may try doing some basting in the A/C just to get things started. Basting should be good to help with the expert finishing I'm looking for on this dress.

I also got this:



And this:



And this:



Don't you just love the scalloped hem on this:



And finally, this, which is not vintage but just a few years old. I'm all about the pencil skirt right now, and they are so freaking easy to make and require under one yard of material, so they are economical as well, especially when you get the pattern for under $5.



I've been doing a little bit of online shopping. For vintage patterns, which I believe is my new obsession. So sorry that some of the photos aren't the bestest - the light wasn't great last night when I was inspired to finally take these pictures.

I got the first dress pattern from ebay, and the others from Lanetzliving

Still no progress on the purple Green Gable, which I haven't even photo'd yet. But the night before last I started on my first short row heel on the toe-up trekking sock from ages ago. I think I'm doing the wraps TOTALLY WRONG but its fun to see the heel take shape so I'm not stopping yet. I can always rip it out, right? And though I thought that toe-up was the one for me, I liked seeing the sock take shape better from cuff-down. Huh. You can't please everyone, not even yourself!

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

I try to be really good about my finances (try being the operative word), but the one thing I can say that I am very conscious of is bringing lunch to work as opposed to buying overpriced food near Penn Station, where I work. But its hot, and I'm lazy, so I've been buying more than my self-imposed limit of once per week. The upside to this is that I get my little frequent-buyer card stamped at the joint where I get my overpriced salad. And today, my friends, I got my free salad.

Free salad. Sounds great, right? But now, let's examine the situation. It wasn't free. I had to purchase ten (10) salads, at an average of $6.50 each, to get that free salad. That means I paid $65 to get my free salad today. I was so excited to get the free salad that for a minute, I forgot that my getting the free salad at all meant that I had shelled out a fairly serious sum of money in the days past.

I can think of plenty of ways to spend that $65 other than salad. Like, I could have gone to the grocery store and purchased a week's worth of breakfasts, lunches and dinners instead. Or gone out for a few nicer meals than salad mixed by some minimum-wage worker wearing a hairnet, that I then shovel into my mouth while fielding emails from people across the country.

On another note, I must vent. I don't quite think this is the most appropriate forum, but I'm hurt and I feel like I can't say it out loud. That's why I blog, right? So I can say all things things that I can't say out loud? Or the things that nobody listens to, like obsessive talk of crafting? I'm not engaged yet. I love my true love, and he loves me, but I feel like he's dragging his heels. I just don't understand it. We have discussed when we want to have the actual wedding, and I know he's smart enough to know that the engagement comes before the wedding, but I'm still waiting. I half feel like I'm going to wait forever. FOREVER. We've gone to jewelers, we've looked at rings, and I know its coming. We're saving to buy a house together. We have more than one joint banking account. Intellectually I know that he's not going to disappear on me. But the emotional part of me hates him for not doing it yet. I feel like if he really really really wanted to do it, it would just be done and I wouldn't be broadcasting it for all of the zero people who read this. Every morning when I wake up next to him, the very first thing I think about is that he hasn't asked me. Every day that passes that he doesn't ask crushes me just a little bit more. Sometimes I get so hurt and angry about it that I just can't even look at him.

I look at every woman I see on the subway, on the street, at the gym, to check their hand to see if they are engaged. I hate the ones that are, because it means that their true love cared enough to ask them and nobody knows by looking at me that I am loved so fiercely by the best man I have ever known. I know I'm impatient about it. But I also feel like I want it so much more than he wants it, and that is such a scary thing because it means he can break my heart. I know this. But my heart clenches and I can't stop thinking about it even so.

I'm not some 50s throwback weirdo that wants to be a prim and proper housewife. Its not like that. I just want him, in a bigger way than I have him now. I feel like his not doing this yet means that he's not sure about me. That he's still trying to decide if I'm really the one, if he even likes me enough. I dislike that feeling enormously. It exposes me for being weak and unsure and truthfully, it isn't like me to be so unconfident. But this one thing turns me in the a skittish, sobbing, pathetic rag of a girl.

And thus, I have vented. Let the chips fall where they may.

Compulsive

I have a shoe problem. Actually, make that a wardrobe problem. After working at nonprofits for 6 years, I don't have much clothing that actually looks good enough to wear to my current office. So, after wiping out all of my credit card debt, I suddenly feel like I've earned the opportunity to rectify that situation. Its bad. I know its bad. But is it so terrible to wish to look a little nicer, to be a little more stylish, to feel a little more confident? Enter these:



They would look super sharp with the dress pants I recently purchased, and with the right dress or skirt, could even be all season shoes. Plus, they are from Naturalizer, which means you can actually walk in them. But how does one decide if the shoes that one covets are worth the expense? Oh, and are these even in style anymore?

Still no knitting. Its too freaking hot, though today is a lovely lovely day. Still no sewing either, though I have high hopes. I'd like to make something like this. Kind of obi-like. I have this great coordinating fabric that I used to make some friends tote bags, and matching grosgrain ribbon that I think would be perfect. I'd do it reversible, of course. And I'd like to angle the sides where the ties would live so that its not just a rectangle. I am certain that this is my weekend project.

If I can, I may stop by Mood today after work and look for some fabric for the vintage pattern I got from ebay recently. Its an a-line short sleeved dress and requires only 4 pattern pieces. I figure I have no more excuses. Right? Right.