Forgive This Ranting and Raving

So no knitting, not until three years from now when I will potentially hold a Masters degree and get my life back. And no relaxing either, as the fuckers who live above me have taken to jumping rope in the apartment. I suppose it wasn't enough for them to play basketball inside the house, and I guess that after they got in trouble for that they decided something as simple and 1950s as jumping rope would be better received. Wait, that assumes thought. I don't think they actually have brains, as I have only heard them scream and grunt so far, in the two years I've lived here, below the worst fucking neighbors ever. If their mother was ever home, maybe she'd do something about it. Maybe she wouldn't. As of this moment, while the light fixture in my living room is shaking so badly that I almost pray the ceiling would give way so that at least the fuckers would fall through and break their legs and not be able to jump rope anymore, I seriously doubt that the bitchasscuntfucker mother would do anything to stop them anyway. She never ever has, so why ruin her perfect record? Huh? You're supposed to parent your children? Oh, and you're supposed to stay home at night so that your children don't jump rope inside an APARTMENT BUILDING WHERE YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY RESIDENT? Huh? Really? Ok, so maybe I'm a little stressed out about working and schooling and not sleeping and feeling sick and not being able to concentrate and that eye twitch is coming back again, and I have to memorize the fucking Presidents for a grad school class and hello, did I mention that I'm 27? And that memorizing lists was so fourth grade, which was, like, ages ago? And its really hard to read stuff when you are SERIOUSLY THINKING THAT THE CEILING WILL FALL ON YOU AT ANY MOMENT and did I mention that I don't sleep anymore? Because I don't sleep anymore. In fact, tonight I am going to drug myself with Benadryl to make sure that I sleep just a little. Just enough to get me through the weekend, so that I can continue memorizing the fucking presidents. In order by election year. In fact, I don't see any positives at all, in this moment, which frightens me. My job is currently sapping the lifeforce of my soul through mindnumbing tasks, school work is overwhelming me, and for some reason, every time I wash the fucking dishes, its like they multipy by the thousands. I need to sleep but I can't because my home is LITERALLY SHAKING. And I'm too tired to even cry. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Ice Dancing

I don't know about your Brooklyn, but my Brooklyn is one big ice cube. As in, sheets of ice. Icy ice. Lots of it. Its like these jerks don't know there are city laws that require property owners to clear the sidewalks in front of their property within a certain time of snowfall. I hope every house I slipped in front of today gets a big fat ticket. Make that two tickets. Big ones.

But this makes me happy:



Look! Its two full pattern repeats! And it looks so nice and pretty! And look! Its on my foot! I didn't do schoolwork last night, and instead took some relaxation time to work on the sock.



You can still see that strange part on the yellow side of the toe. Once I finish the sock and can turn it inside out, I'll be fixing that. I'm starting to get nervous about the second sock. I am not sure I want to knit second socks. That seems really intimidating and overwhelming to me right now. Of course, I want a pair of socks and not just one of each style. But to actually have to go through this twice? That's something to consider, especially given my time availability these days. Maybe after I finish this pair and my Jaywalkers, its time to consider stockinette socks only, and none of this lace or patterned stuff. But, that's part of the fun - getting to knit lace in such a small, controlled environment. Hmmm. Something to think about.

104

It looks like I missed my 100th post. So, let this, my 104th post, be a celebration of all the times I actually wrote something!

Goals for the next 100 (or, 96):

• Write more often. At least 2x a week. That seems like a good goal.
  
• Post more pictures. Even if I can't get to knitting and progress photos, there must be something I could show.
• Use my voice!

While we're on numbers, I was charged 50 cents for a banana today. 50 cents! Is anyone out there as outraged as I am over this price? Typically, bananas go for about 25 cents. Occasionally I've bought them for 30 cents. But 50? As in two for a dollar? That's like robbery. Seriously. I actually walked out of the first place, because I decided that I would not pay that much for one stinking banana. It didn't even look that good. But then, I really wanted a banana. And the next place I went into also charged the same amount. So I decided that today I would do it, but never again.



Now, the banana is an issue for me today because I'm hungry. I am hungry like I haven't eaten in weeks. Hungry like Nicole Ritchie must be, if her nerves even work properly anymore. Its the gym-in-the-morning thing. Yesterday I was starving all day, too. And I needed to feed my hunger with good food, and not with crap, or what's the freaking point in waking up at 5AM? It worked well today, too. Last night I was able to start a paper and read two chapters for school. I went to bed at around 10 PM, and then did it all over again this morning. Tonight I'll do more reading and maybe work on my skirt. I think this might work for me!

Sleep. Sleep, little sleeper...

Today I got up at 5:00 AM to go to the gym. Say wha? You heard me right. I got up at 5 AM to go to the gym. I realized that I need my evenings for schoolwork, and I am unwilling to give up my gym obsession, so mornings it is.

Observations on waking at 5AM:

• Its dark. Really dark. It seems like its darker than nighttime dark.
• Its lonely. Nothing is open. And I'm talking about a ten-minute walk along a stretch of Fulton Street in Brooklyn. I think that one dirtydeli was open and that's it.
  
• I saw 2 people. Strangely, they were both fat women and they were both wearing large down coats with the hood up. I did see a third person leaving my gym, but I don't count that person, as they're crazy earlygymgoer like me.
  
• I saw 1 bus along the entire walk. Remember folks, this is Fulton Street. One bus. Typically there's one bus every 10 feet on Fulton.
  
• Its hard to get up. But, thankfully, that's the hardest part. Once I was actually out of bed, the rest wasn't too bad. I had arranged my clothing the night before, so I grabbed my sneaks and my sports bra from the pile and left the bedroom so as not to wake my true love, and once I got out, it was easy. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, got dressed and left.
  
• I like the gym in the morning. Its quiet. The gum-chewers as still asleep. And you know that the people there at that hour are as serious (read: obsessed) as me, not like the idiots who show up at 7 PM with makeup on and prance around, who are there to see and be seen.
  
• And so I ran. I had to do a longer warmup than usual to get my legs working, but my run was just as good as it is in the evenings. And now I have the whole night free, though I'm not sure how long that'll be given I woke up at 5 freaking AM.
  
• The nicest part was walking home. Its like my street came alive in the time I ran 3.5 miles. That was cool.

And now here I am. Its work-time, and I've already done my run. That's good. I feel good.

In knitting news, I am one and a half repeats into the Elfine sock, and I love the pattern. I love Magic Loop. Seriously. And I love the colors I chose for the sock. I just wish I had more time to work on it. I realized that I haven't finished a project in a while, and that's kinda bugging me. I think this weekend I'm going to make an effort to finish the purple blankie shawl that you may remember from the fall. Oh, and I also started a skirt last weekend that I'll likely finish this weekend. Its cute. Purple corduroy. Yum.