I'm too busy at work right now to hate my job. I guess that's some amount of relief, though it seems strange to me.
I had a great weekend. My Saturday class at the gym hurt so good, and I loved it. Yay for getting stronger! And on Sunday I had a great girl-day with my friend J. We saw In Her Shoes, which I thought was good (she thought it was slow) and then did a little shopping. I think J. is my shopping good-luck charm. I have a terrible time shopping, but whenever I'm with her, I always find way more than I can afford. Its a blessing and a curse, for sure.
Gotta get back to the grind... but maybe some photos of the scarf tomorrow. I'm about 7 diamonds in. So much for two a night - I knit two this weekend!
Monday, October 17, 2005
Friday, October 14, 2005
Curses
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Most of my life I went through much trauma from having a name nobody else had, or at the very least, nobody spelled it like I did. Sigh. No meme for me.
I called the cops last night. My neighborhood is sometimes the worst fucking ghetto you can imagine. Most of the time its great and I love it, but its often filled with people who flap their gums and argue in the street and blast their comforts into everyone else's personal space, usually after midnight. Like last night. I had fallen asleep. As in, I was already asleep. And what do I hear, that actually wakes me up? Music. LOUD MUSIC. From a car, parked in a spot, on the street outside my bedroom window. Now, normally the situation is some fucking asshole who double parks and talks to his friends while pumping shitty rap music at ninety million bazillion decibels. But this time, the dude was in. his. car. With the windows closed, because, you know, its raining. And his music Woke. Me. Up.
So, I turned my cell phone back on and called the 88th Precinct. The officer was very nice and said he'd send someone out to take a look. So, I turn my phone back off, get back into bed, seething, and lie there. Listening to this asshole's music. Mike had passed out long ago after a binge drinking session with a friend, so he barely stirred. And I was left, yet again, to stare at the fucking ceiling while everyone around me in the whole wide world sleeps. Is there no justice? Do I not work hard enough each day that I don't deserve to sleep? Do I have "wake me up every night" written on my forehead? Or rather, "just don't let me sleep, ever, so that I become the crankiest woman who ever lived"? Maybe that's more appropriate.
So, I, me, Megann with two n's, is the crankiest woman who ever lived. I have not slept a real night's sleep in about a week. And I hate everyone around me, I hate my job and now, I am just cranky enough that I even hate myself. So fuck you, world. And fuck you pillows. And fuck you, you filthy sonofabitch who woke me up last night. I hope you die a horrible painful death. Or at least get woken up yourself. Every night for the rest of your pathetic life.
Your search - "megann needs" - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
Most of my life I went through much trauma from having a name nobody else had, or at the very least, nobody spelled it like I did. Sigh. No meme for me.
I called the cops last night. My neighborhood is sometimes the worst fucking ghetto you can imagine. Most of the time its great and I love it, but its often filled with people who flap their gums and argue in the street and blast their comforts into everyone else's personal space, usually after midnight. Like last night. I had fallen asleep. As in, I was already asleep. And what do I hear, that actually wakes me up? Music. LOUD MUSIC. From a car, parked in a spot, on the street outside my bedroom window. Now, normally the situation is some fucking asshole who double parks and talks to his friends while pumping shitty rap music at ninety million bazillion decibels. But this time, the dude was in. his. car. With the windows closed, because, you know, its raining. And his music Woke. Me. Up.
So, I turned my cell phone back on and called the 88th Precinct. The officer was very nice and said he'd send someone out to take a look. So, I turn my phone back off, get back into bed, seething, and lie there. Listening to this asshole's music. Mike had passed out long ago after a binge drinking session with a friend, so he barely stirred. And I was left, yet again, to stare at the fucking ceiling while everyone around me in the whole wide world sleeps. Is there no justice? Do I not work hard enough each day that I don't deserve to sleep? Do I have "wake me up every night" written on my forehead? Or rather, "just don't let me sleep, ever, so that I become the crankiest woman who ever lived"? Maybe that's more appropriate.
So, I, me, Megann with two n's, is the crankiest woman who ever lived. I have not slept a real night's sleep in about a week. And I hate everyone around me, I hate my job and now, I am just cranky enough that I even hate myself. So fuck you, world. And fuck you pillows. And fuck you, you filthy sonofabitch who woke me up last night. I hope you die a horrible painful death. Or at least get woken up yourself. Every night for the rest of your pathetic life.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Sigh. Progress.
The spell, she is broken. I am using my fabu camera and taking pictures of lovely things that I am creating with my hands.
This is the scarf, and I love her already. I wound up getting some Koigu Kersti for her, as Purl no longer carries Noro yarns. Say wha'? I fell in love with some Alchemy with the same silk content as Silk Garden but it was about $18 per skein and I was so not down with that. So, Kersti it was. And I am pretty darned happy with it. The colors are beautiful. I think they photo'd pretty well, with the beautiful purples and browns and such. And the pattern is so much fun to knit! The two diamonds took no time at all, and its very easy to follow. According to the pattern, 18 repeats make an extra long scarf (and we all know how I love love love extra long scarves). With 16 left, I figure a minimum of two a night would take me 8 days, right? With the weekend coming up I could definitely finish it this weekend. Yay for new scarves!
On to the next. This is the baby blanket from SNB, the first book, for Mike's soon-to-be nephew.
I am at the point where I will reverse the knit and purl panels for the second half of the blanket. I just haven't done it yet.
And this, my dear readers, is the famous blankie-shawl. She is knit in Knit Picks Elegance, and she is so freaking soft I just want to eat her. Or at least fondle her all the time.
As you can tell, she is too big to spread out over the needles, so you are seeing the center spine of the shawl. At the bottom is the neck side. The pattern calls for 17 inches, but I think I'm going to go longer so that it covers more. I'm in the 3rd skein of yarn and I bought 7, so I may have a ways to go on this one. It gets boring, as its all knit in garter stitch. But its so soft that I can overlook its.
On a professional note, I am thisclose to being ready to submit my MPA application. Just a few more tweaks on my essay and its good to go. I found out that rolling admissions are a good thing, even though they are spaced out over several meetings. So, they say about 5 weeks from submissions is a good time to hear. If I get it in this week (which I def. will) then I should hear before Thanksgiving. Which is good.
And I'm done.
This is the scarf, and I love her already. I wound up getting some Koigu Kersti for her, as Purl no longer carries Noro yarns. Say wha'? I fell in love with some Alchemy with the same silk content as Silk Garden but it was about $18 per skein and I was so not down with that. So, Kersti it was. And I am pretty darned happy with it. The colors are beautiful. I think they photo'd pretty well, with the beautiful purples and browns and such. And the pattern is so much fun to knit! The two diamonds took no time at all, and its very easy to follow. According to the pattern, 18 repeats make an extra long scarf (and we all know how I love love love extra long scarves). With 16 left, I figure a minimum of two a night would take me 8 days, right? With the weekend coming up I could definitely finish it this weekend. Yay for new scarves!
On to the next. This is the baby blanket from SNB, the first book, for Mike's soon-to-be nephew.
I am at the point where I will reverse the knit and purl panels for the second half of the blanket. I just haven't done it yet.
And this, my dear readers, is the famous blankie-shawl. She is knit in Knit Picks Elegance, and she is so freaking soft I just want to eat her. Or at least fondle her all the time.
As you can tell, she is too big to spread out over the needles, so you are seeing the center spine of the shawl. At the bottom is the neck side. The pattern calls for 17 inches, but I think I'm going to go longer so that it covers more. I'm in the 3rd skein of yarn and I bought 7, so I may have a ways to go on this one. It gets boring, as its all knit in garter stitch. But its so soft that I can overlook its.
On a professional note, I am thisclose to being ready to submit my MPA application. Just a few more tweaks on my essay and its good to go. I found out that rolling admissions are a good thing, even though they are spaced out over several meetings. So, they say about 5 weeks from submissions is a good time to hear. If I get it in this week (which I def. will) then I should hear before Thanksgiving. Which is good.
And I'm done.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Its Officially Colder
I am wearing boots today. This is a big deal. Not just closed-toe shoes, but actual boots, that zip up the side. Serious non-summer shoes. I always find it hard to make the transition. I love going almost barefoot when I can, and I just love wearing flip flops and sandals. Which is strange when you think about it because I always have cold feet, no matter what I'm wearing. One would think that with constant cold feet, I'd be a little wary of bare shoes. But no.
I love these boots, too. I just brought them to the cobbler last week to get them re-heeled in time for the new season, and I'm glad. I just love them. If I would only remember to use my darned camera, I could take a photo of them and share with the group. They are lovely, truly.
No knitting progress last night, as the love-of-my-life and I took it easy on the couch, with some much-needed snuggling tossed in for good measure. Gosh is he cute. And a good snuggler. This morning I had my annual visit to the gyno, and all is well. Whew. Not that I thought it wouldn't be, but I always like hearing that I am healthy. Its nice. Since I can't really take a lunch break today, as I only got into the office at noon, I will be going to Purl after work to pick out my Noro for the Edgar scarf in this issue of Knitty. I'm thinking Silk Garden, as I have never worked with it before, and the hat I made out of Kureyon was a little too scratchy for my taste. I hope that the silk content will smooth out the fiber and scratchiness. And, to my credit, I even checked for needles this morning so that I know I can start the project immediately. It turns out that I have to sets of size 8s, one a 16" circ that I'm currently using for the unfinished legwarmers, and the other 8s are long circs (32"?) that I"m using for the blankie shawl. Since I like to knit scarves on straights, I'll treat myself to a short pair of straight 8s.
And since I'm now dreaming of warmth (the A/C is still on in my dumb office - can these jerks get anything right at all ever?), I leave you with an older photo, from our LA trip this summer.
Ah, sunshine with my sweetie.
I love these boots, too. I just brought them to the cobbler last week to get them re-heeled in time for the new season, and I'm glad. I just love them. If I would only remember to use my darned camera, I could take a photo of them and share with the group. They are lovely, truly.
No knitting progress last night, as the love-of-my-life and I took it easy on the couch, with some much-needed snuggling tossed in for good measure. Gosh is he cute. And a good snuggler. This morning I had my annual visit to the gyno, and all is well. Whew. Not that I thought it wouldn't be, but I always like hearing that I am healthy. Its nice. Since I can't really take a lunch break today, as I only got into the office at noon, I will be going to Purl after work to pick out my Noro for the Edgar scarf in this issue of Knitty. I'm thinking Silk Garden, as I have never worked with it before, and the hat I made out of Kureyon was a little too scratchy for my taste. I hope that the silk content will smooth out the fiber and scratchiness. And, to my credit, I even checked for needles this morning so that I know I can start the project immediately. It turns out that I have to sets of size 8s, one a 16" circ that I'm currently using for the unfinished legwarmers, and the other 8s are long circs (32"?) that I"m using for the blankie shawl. Since I like to knit scarves on straights, I'll treat myself to a short pair of straight 8s.
And since I'm now dreaming of warmth (the A/C is still on in my dumb office - can these jerks get anything right at all ever?), I leave you with an older photo, from our LA trip this summer.
Ah, sunshine with my sweetie.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Ramblings
Pictures soon, I promise. I've just been lazy. But not so lazy as to have not made any progress on the blanket! G-d bless laundry day.
I made it to the pattern reverse mark, which means that I am 50% complete. It has been pretty easy going, and I'm sure that I will have it done in time to deliver it in December. Plenty of time. But now I'm growing bored with it, and I really want to make something small. This is my third large project in a row. First the shawl, then the blankie-shawl (in progress, I know, I know) and then the actual blankie. I would like to make a scarf. Or a quickie hat. I recently acquired the Scarf Style book, and like Ruffles and one of the crochet patterns (and I actually have the yarn for it already, which makes it an excellent candidate). I also like this scarf from the recent Knitty.
Thanks for the sock recommendations. I think I'll take what I've learned from my comments (thank you!) and from asking around and put it all together in an actual store and see what I wind up with. I hear that many love love love Nancy Bush, so that might also be a good place to start.
On another note, wish me luck with this job thingy. I think my interview on Friday went really well, and today I'm sending the requested references and writing samples. I hope that this works out, as it would be pretty cool. However, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as it would be terribly upsetting to crash with the realization that I have to stay where I am for a while longer. But, at least I got my raise. I guess the lesson here is to be thankful for what you have. And I am.
I made it to the pattern reverse mark, which means that I am 50% complete. It has been pretty easy going, and I'm sure that I will have it done in time to deliver it in December. Plenty of time. But now I'm growing bored with it, and I really want to make something small. This is my third large project in a row. First the shawl, then the blankie-shawl (in progress, I know, I know) and then the actual blankie. I would like to make a scarf. Or a quickie hat. I recently acquired the Scarf Style book, and like Ruffles and one of the crochet patterns (and I actually have the yarn for it already, which makes it an excellent candidate). I also like this scarf from the recent Knitty.
Thanks for the sock recommendations. I think I'll take what I've learned from my comments (thank you!) and from asking around and put it all together in an actual store and see what I wind up with. I hear that many love love love Nancy Bush, so that might also be a good place to start.
On another note, wish me luck with this job thingy. I think my interview on Friday went really well, and today I'm sending the requested references and writing samples. I hope that this works out, as it would be pretty cool. However, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as it would be terribly upsetting to crash with the realization that I have to stay where I am for a while longer. But, at least I got my raise. I guess the lesson here is to be thankful for what you have. And I am.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Guilt
After feeling incredibly guilty about my list yesteray of unfinished items, I worked on the baby blanket last night. It was the first time I knit while watching TV. Typically, I have to look at the stitches, but last night I was in the zone, so to speak, and the rows just flew by. Perhaps it was the crappy Lifetime movie I watched that made it easier to focus less on both. Perhaps.
Regardless, I have about 3 more inches to go on the blanket before I have to reverse the pattern.
And I think I would like to try to knit socks. Does anyone (if anyone reads this) have any suggestions about good patterns to start with? I know I don't need any more projects gumming up the works right now, but I think Im' ready for the sock challenge/bliss that I've been reading about on various blogs.
Job update: I got the raise I wanted yesterday. In true Prezzy fashion, I was called into her office at 4:15 yesterday afternoon, unannounced, for my "review" which was really nothing more than a salary review with the back office budget lady there as well. It made me uncomfortable, which is normal as Prezzy inspires that kind of dread, both to have it sprung on me like that and to not even have a private conversation about it. Not to mention not even having a moment to prepare myself or collect my thoughts, save for the time it took to walk from my cube to her office. But, I got what I wanted. It turns out to be a 15% raise, and she made a big point of telling me that normal raises here are 3%. When you make as little as I make, though, 15% doesn't seem all that much in actual dollars. However, it will be the push I need to feel more comfortable about my finances and getting rid of that last bit of credit card debt in under one year, if I commit the total raise to the card.
But, this does raise some issues for me. I have an interview with another organization tomorrow. For a job that is a step up for me, a challenge, and sounds pretty interesting. I know I don't have an offer yet and that I haven't even been on the interview, but already I'm weighing my options. Is staying here worth it now that I feel like I have enough money to live on? Or am I still going to feel the same dread coming here, knowing that I have little room for advancement or opportunity? Is it better to just get out? Or to give it another chance with the new salary? I have the known-vs.-unknown syndrome going on here. I know that Prezzy is totally nutso and that's not going to change, but I do have a system here that helps me deal with it. At someplace different, there's no guarantee that things will be different, though in my humble opinion, they sure can't get worse. Any ideas here?
I think at the very least, getting the raise will help me feel more confident at the interview tomorrow, because I will know that I have something decent to come back to if it doesn't work out.
Oh life. How you challenge me. Keep it coming.
Regardless, I have about 3 more inches to go on the blanket before I have to reverse the pattern.
And I think I would like to try to knit socks. Does anyone (if anyone reads this) have any suggestions about good patterns to start with? I know I don't need any more projects gumming up the works right now, but I think Im' ready for the sock challenge/bliss that I've been reading about on various blogs.
Job update: I got the raise I wanted yesterday. In true Prezzy fashion, I was called into her office at 4:15 yesterday afternoon, unannounced, for my "review" which was really nothing more than a salary review with the back office budget lady there as well. It made me uncomfortable, which is normal as Prezzy inspires that kind of dread, both to have it sprung on me like that and to not even have a private conversation about it. Not to mention not even having a moment to prepare myself or collect my thoughts, save for the time it took to walk from my cube to her office. But, I got what I wanted. It turns out to be a 15% raise, and she made a big point of telling me that normal raises here are 3%. When you make as little as I make, though, 15% doesn't seem all that much in actual dollars. However, it will be the push I need to feel more comfortable about my finances and getting rid of that last bit of credit card debt in under one year, if I commit the total raise to the card.
But, this does raise some issues for me. I have an interview with another organization tomorrow. For a job that is a step up for me, a challenge, and sounds pretty interesting. I know I don't have an offer yet and that I haven't even been on the interview, but already I'm weighing my options. Is staying here worth it now that I feel like I have enough money to live on? Or am I still going to feel the same dread coming here, knowing that I have little room for advancement or opportunity? Is it better to just get out? Or to give it another chance with the new salary? I have the known-vs.-unknown syndrome going on here. I know that Prezzy is totally nutso and that's not going to change, but I do have a system here that helps me deal with it. At someplace different, there's no guarantee that things will be different, though in my humble opinion, they sure can't get worse. Any ideas here?
I think at the very least, getting the raise will help me feel more confident at the interview tomorrow, because I will know that I have something decent to come back to if it doesn't work out.
Oh life. How you challenge me. Keep it coming.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
I Will Be A Better Blogger, and I Will Stop Eating Candy Corn Before 10 AM
I joined a blog ring today. Jess suggested a NYC knitters ring and I decided, hey, why not. I would like to meet knitters, as none of my friends do it, and it would be fun to knit with others. And, I would like to be a better blogger - I see this is a big push to blog more regularly. And if I'm knitting more regularly, then I will have more to blog about.
Updates (the list is rather depressing, as nothing is finished):
I'm still having the same retarded issues with my retarded job. Except now, my one treasured colleague, who regularly takes a bigger and meaner beating than I, told me that she is leaving. Well, she's looking to leave. She can't stand it any more, which I agree with. I don't know how she does it. And she has amazing connections and has already been putting her good networking skills to use. I give her another week before she finds her dream position. But, once she's gone, there is no buffer between me and the big bad evil gross nasty manipulative abusive Prezzy. I may as well hand in my resignation when she does. Things will only get worse for me.
But where do I go? What do I do? Do I stay in the nonprofit world and hate the next job I take? Or do I try and make a real effort to try something different, something in the private sector? I am just so stumped here. So stumped. Anyone know a career counselor?
Updates (the list is rather depressing, as nothing is finished):
- Baby blanket - still where I left it, though I have a December deadline for the delivery
- Blankie Shawl - into third skein, and will assess how much more I want to do after that is finished
- Legwarmers - these are from last winter, and I think I'm going to rip them out and use the yarn for something else. I'm just not into them anymore, though I still think they'd be useful as I have big plans for making winter skirts
- Dress - still not finished, though I know it is ready to go
I'm still having the same retarded issues with my retarded job. Except now, my one treasured colleague, who regularly takes a bigger and meaner beating than I, told me that she is leaving. Well, she's looking to leave. She can't stand it any more, which I agree with. I don't know how she does it. And she has amazing connections and has already been putting her good networking skills to use. I give her another week before she finds her dream position. But, once she's gone, there is no buffer between me and the big bad evil gross nasty manipulative abusive Prezzy. I may as well hand in my resignation when she does. Things will only get worse for me.
But where do I go? What do I do? Do I stay in the nonprofit world and hate the next job I take? Or do I try and make a real effort to try something different, something in the private sector? I am just so stumped here. So stumped. Anyone know a career counselor?
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