Scrambled Eggs

The shoes fit!

2007-06-07T09:49:00.000-04:00

Hooray! Mike brought the shoes home last night and I tried them on this morning. They fit! And they are lovely! I want to wear them around the house for a bit before I decide, but I have a good feeling about them. Gosh, I really really do think they are perfect.

Geez, Four Months? Really?

2007-06-01T09:12:00.000-04:00

I don't know how many more of these posts I can handle! Yes, I'm still alive. No, I don't think anyone is reading.

I've been slaving away on my third semester of grad school, which ended one week ago. I got one grade back so far (A!) and am waiting for my other one. As of this semester, I am officially almost half way through the program. Almost. That gives me some hope for sure, even though the finals period never seems to get any easier, no matter how much older I get.

Now that the semester is over, I can relax! Choose how I want to spend my evenings rather than have them dictated by my class and gym schedule. Free time is a lovely and precious gift, that's for sure. And with my free time, its time to get back in the sewing game. I have lots of things I want to make. To inspire myself, I'm wearing a skirt I made two summers ago, and I have to say, I still really like it. The pattern is crazy easy and it looks so professional, if I do say so myself. No pics, sorry.

I'm also deep into the wedding planning, which often sucks the life out of Mike and I. We just this weekend decided on the wording for our invitations. I think its very sweet. Not too stuffy or formal and very representative of the feel I want the wedding to have: Big Party!! And, yesterday I bought a pair of shoes from Nordstrom's online store that may be the shoes for the big day, depending on how comfortable they are.

This photo makes them look a little silvery but they are supposed to be gold. We'll see what they look like when they show up!

I also had my hair trial. Ok, can I just say, as an aside, that this whole wedding industry sucks? Its all about perfection and spending money to get there. That bugs me. But when you're spending a fortune on a photographer, I guess it makes sense to spend a fortune on primping for those pricey photos! Anyhow, I lovelovelove the gal who is doing my hair and she did a fantastic job with my knotty, curly mess.

Of course, I'm talking in this photo because my sister was there and there's never a silent moment when the two of us are in the same room. And the hair is the general idea. Swept up and back off of my face, and cascading (cascading?!) down in the back in soft curls, and a slight taper at the bottom. I felt so soft and romantic and pretty. Aw.

Ok. Enough. Maybe I'll post again before the next four months fly by!

Brial Beauty

2007-02-09T15:30:00.000-05:00

I am super excited - I'm going dress shopping tomorrow afternoon! The dress has been just about the only wedding-type thing that I've been excited about. I don't really want a wedding, I'd rather just be married. But Mike is very traditional and very romantic and all the lovely things you want in a husband, and it is so important to him that we do this the wedding way, that I'm getting myself exited for the whole money-sucking operation. But I didn't need any help with the dress. I've always been excited about the dress.

I just have no idea what I want! I know what I don't want:

Strapless. I hate strapless dresses, strapless tops, strapless everything. Hate. Yuck.
Big fat ball gown. I'm 5'3" and about 100 pounds. Anything bigger than A-line swallows me whole. A big poufy skirt is the thing I think I'd look the worst in.
Pure white. I'm super pale, with pink undertones. Bright white makes me look like an alien. I'll definitely be going the ivory route.

That's it. That's all I got. Oh, I guess there are a two things I want - I want a low or no back, and I want something that defines my waist/hip area with more structure/curves. That's it. I am totally open otherwise!! Hopefully, these ladies will help me find it.

Wish me luck!!

My Ball and Chain

2007-02-04T15:11:00.000-05:00

Yay! My sweetpea finally took photos of my ring with his super fancy camera. They came out so pretty. Of course, I'm totally biased. But I love it so...

Shoes!

2007-02-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

I had to do it. I just had to. The prices were too good, and I sleuthed a promotion code from the interweb, which made them all that much cheaper.

I present to you two of my new three pairs of shoes. Yes, I bought three pairs of shoes, online, all at once. I suppose I was detoxing from "No Frivolous Spending January."

This pair wound up costing $15.99. Original price was $89.99, on Naturalizer.com. I love that store! Great comfort and super good styling, especially as of late. I'm headed to a wedding in March, and I figure that these are excellent dress up shoes for a less than formal affair (beach wedding, Florida, etc.) and that they'll be a good addition to my regular rotation of spiky heels.
And this pair I got for $39.99, original price of $79.99. Hooray! So cute. I love red shoes. How adorable with a pair of skinny jeans? Or a denim skirt?
The best part is that I ordered them two days ago and they arrived today. The third pair is probably on its way, but seriously. Who cares when I have these two to keep me happy!

I guess I missed blogging, being that this post makes it twice in one week when I've blogged twice in the last three months. Ok. I'm back on it.

Still Still Alive

2007-01-30T13:51:00.000-05:00

Hmm, its almost February and I realized that I have barely posted since December. What up? I guess part of it is guilt, part of it is laziness and part of it is time.

I'm guilty about not doing much knitting or sewing these past several weeks. I started a beret that I didn't finish, and I still have some old old projects in the works that I don't know if I'll ever pick up again.
I'm lazy about everything these days as I had my winter break from grad school and thoroughly enjoyed doing anything I wanted.
I don't have the time anymore, with my new job (not so new anymore, I guess) and school and planning a wedding.

Mike and I booked our location for the big day, and we just love it. We went back and forth about a lot of different sites, their advantages and disadvantages, and couldn't really find many negatives about this place. We both got a really great vibe there, both from the space itself and from our contact, the lovely J.

And I still owe pictures of my beautiful ring to so many people... I think I just have to buckle down and photograph it tonight after class! Its still just as perfect, and I love that it is mine. I also love the reactions I get from people who notice it - it makes me really proud and happy to have something so meaningful, and to have that be recognized by strangers who notice how unique and lovely it is. Someone called it "thoughtful" the other day, and that really touched a chord with me. It is thoughtful. And I love it.

Still Alive

2007-01-06T09:06:00.001-05:00

Not much to say, just wanted to alert the masses that I am indeed still alive. The one thing of note:

I'm in to run 100 miles by April 1st. I'm pretty excited about this and I'm already on my way!

He Did It!

2006-12-03T18:34:00.000-05:00

Its official, folks. I'm gonna be an honest woman.

Pictures of my beautiful ring to come...

Skirt! Skirt! Skirt Alert!

2006-11-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

I totally made the coolest skirt ever. In the absense of my knitting, I've been sewing up a storm. Some good, some bad, but with each project, my technique is improving by leaps and bounds. I've also been collecting vintage sewing patterns, which I just adore. Like this one (I made View 2):

And here it is. I made it out of brown velvet that I got in Ohio last winter but never seemed to find anything to use it for. Its a good thing I waited! This skirt has a waistband, a hook and eye closure at the top of the back zip, and is so awesome.

This is the fully clothed view. I love how a skirt that sits at my actual waist makes my legs look longer, not that you can tell from my top-down photo, which actually makes me look about 2 inches tall! Though, perhaps my midgetness will distract you from the disaster that is my bedroom. In my defense, I cleaned the bathroom today AND baked a sweet potato casserole from Cooking Light Magazine to contribue to my mother's table tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Flaws are Fabulous

2006-11-10T16:54:00.000-05:00

I had an exciting day today. Firstly, working for the city is great because we get just about every single holiday there is. This week, I had election day off and today as well, for the observed day of veteran's day. I thought I would get to sit around in my underwear and watch tv all day but my sweet pea had other plans.

Today I went to a gem laboratory. To get our diamond certified and appraised. It was so freaking cool! The guy I had the appointment with, a Gemologist (even typing that is cool), even showed me how to work this ENORMOUS microscope so that I could see my diamond for myself, under a bazillion magnification. Seriously. It was pretty cool.

The coolest thing, I think, is that inside my diamond there's a crystal that contains a garnet. You can't see it at all by just looking at it, or even with a simple magnifying glass, but under the jeweler's doohickey it is totally there. Its a unique thing that is rather rare, but does not decrease the value of the diamond. I happen to find it very cool. Mostly because my grandmother's favorite stone was the garnet and I have inherited a lot of her garnet jewelry. I think its a special connection, especially since the diamond is the one that my father, who died eight and a half years ago, gave to my mother when they became engaged way back in 1967. Its like this was the one meant for me, and here it is, mine, but also my father's, my mother's and my grandma's.

Aw.

Anyhoo, so yes. I have a diamond. My mom gave to Mike and I for our engagement ring. So, yes, I know we are getting engaged, I have known for a while, but the fact that we're not is still a big deal for me. Its like I can't see past my own nose far enough to tell that there is indeed a future out there for me, and that future, very soon, will certainly include a marriage proposal from the man I would very much like to marry. Its frustrating. I'm trying the whole Be Here Now stuff, and sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't. These days it seems like nothing works.

Interestingly, I just finished reading a book by Elizabeth Wurtzel, the famed depressive author of Prozac Nation. The book I read is about her subsequent struggle with drug addiction, More Now, Again. I was frighteningly fascinated to see that her experience with addiction is not all that dissimilar from my experience with panic and anxiety. It turns out we're all the same, after all.

Two Months, Really?

2006-11-07T08:02:00.000-05:00

Wow, I had no idea so much time had passed! Let's do the quick update and then I'll start to get back on track over the next few days/weeks:

1. Still not engaged. Am now pissed off in addition to broken-hearted.
2. Started and then frogged the Diamond Fantasy Shawl (in Debbie Bliss Pure Silk) for my mom's 60th birthday. Am too tentative to cast on again, though I have only one month to go.
3. Suddenly, blogger won't let me link links in Safari, what up?
4. Still at first color for my Charlotte's Web shawl. That may actually take forever to knit.
5. Still have not finished the Green Gable.
6. Started a scarf a la Yarn Harlot - that one row repeat scarf? Its in this gorgeous Cherry Tree Hill stuff with mohair, silk, wool and you name it. So pretty. Its my subway scarf.
7. Bought two skeins of Noro Cash Iroha to make the handwarmers in Last Minute Knitted Gifts. Shortly thereafter I realized that I do not have the right needles but am too lazy to buy them.

Well, I guess that sums it up. Oh, and my new job (THAT's why I haven't posted in two months! Now I remember!) is very hard but very very very awesome. School is taking a bit of time this semester, too, but at least I'm scratching my brain.

Okey dokey. Welcome back to me.

Stash Time

2006-09-02T14:21:00.000-04:00

I know that I am not the most prolific knitter. But what I lack in production I sure do make up in inventory. I've never photographed my stash before. But last week, when I had the time off before starting the new job, I realized that I had yarn all. over. the. house. Literally. Yarn on the bookshelf in the living room. Yarn on the coffee table. Yarn on the kitchen table. Yarn in the office. Yarn on my dresser. It was everywhere. Some were WIPs and some were just balls of yarn. And I decided to get it all together and then put it all away. And here it is.

In the left corner, we have some lovely orangey-pumpkin coloroed Sunshine that was an aborted poncho from when I first started knitting. I got it on MAJOR sale at The Yarn Connection on Madison. Next to it we have some Knit Picks laceweight whose name I can't remember and the pattern for which I bought it is nowhere to be found. One extra skein of it is wound and may become a cowl-like thingy but I'm not sure yet. Next to that is leftover Knit Picks Elegance, which I may use to become a Ms. Marigod, but I promised myself that I cannot buy another shirt pattern until I finish the stupid Green Gable. Also of interest are one and a bit skeins of Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sport in Glenwood that I used to make Mike's newphew's baby blanket. Yum, that yarn was amazing to work with. Perhaps a scarf out of it for this winter?

More random balls of leftovers that I can't seem to part with even though I know I'll likely never ever use them.

This is my yarn for a soon-to-be Charlotte's Web. I am probably the last knitter on earth to make one of these. I was reading a blog sometime not too long ago and the now-forgotten writer was on her 5th or 6th. I actually started it on Memorial Day weekend while visiting friends on Shelter Island and made a mistake in the second color change and ripped it all out. I may start again in the spirit of the holiday weekend.

Here we have 8 skeins of Debbie Bliss Pure Silk that I got for 50% off at the Suss closing sale. Its a lovely pale lemony color, and I believe that some of it will become a Diamond Fantasy Shawl for my mom's birthday in December. She's allergic to wool, so I'm glad I can finally make her something. I think she'll love the color.

Also from the Suss sale, 4 skeins each of Fishnet. I have ideas in my head for a top-down raglan in a large gauge. I saw something similar on a designer when I worked at a boutique in Park Slope last summer. I think I may be able to recreate it. Here's to hoping!

This is just some pretty, pretty Koigu that I got at Downtown Yarns to make some sort of poncho-shawl from one of their original patterns and then decided I hated the pattern. Now, I have three skeins of it and I love love love the colors but I'm not sure what to do with it. Perhaps a lacy scarf? Any ideas are quite welcome!!

And there you have it. There's some other random skeins that I didn't post, such as the two socks I am working on now that I doubt I'll ever finish. It was just too sad to post them in their current state. And I didn't re-photo the Green Gable, as it too is much too sad to show.

If anyone is interested in taking some off my hands, just let me know!

Channeling Pippi Longstocking

2006-08-23T09:21:00.000-04:00

I love my hair. Love it. Of course, there was drama. This is me, remember ?

For several years, I had been seeing a gal over at Salon Bohemia in Park Slope. She was great - she gave my a wonderfully inspired hair cut my first time out with her that was a big change from my regular cut, and I just loved it. But it seemed that everything afterwards just went downhill from there, though I kept going in the hopes that we could recreate that first sense of magic. The things I hated about her included: a) She was always late. Not just a few minutes late, but often a FULL HOUR late. That is just unacceptable, especially when I caught on and started calling before showing up to see if she was on time and she lied to me every time, saying, yes, sure, come on in its all fine, and I'd STILL have to wait an hour to get my hair done. b) She fucked up a few times. I used to get it cut much shorter than it is now, with lots of rock n' roll style layers. But she would always do it uneven, as in, the left side of my head would have much longer pieces than on the right side of my head. As in, depending on how you looked at me, I had two different haircuts going on at the same time. Not cool, especially for someone as self-conscious as I can be at times. After the 3rd time of going back for her to "fix" it, I decided enough was enough. c) She never quite paid attention. She was always talking to someone else while working on me. Part of the experience of getting your hair done, I think, is the relationshp you have with your girl (or guy). She just wasn't interested in me except for a tip. Eh. I was so done with her.

Which brings me to this wonderfulness. Almost.

My friend Julie recommended her girl, whom she loves. So I started seeing the new girl and I loved her too. But she was a bit awkward with me, and it was not uncomfortable but it wasn't as personal as I would have liked. But she did a great cut and decent color, so it worked. So, I've been seeing the new girl for over a year now. But when it was time to do my roots again, and I called to get an appointment with her, I learned that she broke her knee. Yes, you read that right, she broke her knee. Aparently she was doing some sort of athletic move while playing around in the park and shattered her patella. Ouchies. She won't be back for a while but I still had roots and didn't want to show up at a new job without new hair, you know what I mean? So there's an even newer girl at the same salon and it was love at first sight.

I lurve her. And she made me pretty. Not that you can tell here, but I couldn't wait to show just how amazing the color is. It'll tone down after a few washings, as reds do, but its perfect. She gave me a great cut, and a great blow out, but unfortunately, what you guys get is me, photographing myself with an unwashed face and just a few minutes out of bed. I'll try for a better pick post-gym/shower.

Its redder and little darker than I normally go, but I'm looking forward to that, because in the past its gone a bit too golden after the fading and I think that this will not do the same thing. And, I secured my new new girl for the future - I told her that its nothing personal about the knee girl, but I just loved the way everything came out today and that I'll be seeing her from now on. And I tipped really well, so I'm sure she'll be excited about seeing me again, too. Hooray for great hair!

Eventually I'll be knitting and sewing again, I promise. I just don't have the bug right now, though I do have huge aspirations. We'll see what happens.

Who Does This?

2006-08-22T11:34:00.000-04:00

So, this is my week off inbetween jobs. I left my last job on Friday afternoon, and it was so sad and exciting all at once. And now, with this week off, I get to make a true transition. But it makes me wonder - who is out there during the day time? Yesterday I went to the dentist, did a little shopping, got some fake ice cream, and there were all sorts of people around my age just hanging out. Who are you, people of the daytime? They can't all be bartenders, right?

On the way home from the gym this morning, I saw a couple my age walking there dog. In Brooklyn, at around 10:15ish. Just hanging out with their dog and their coffee. On a Tuesday morning. No work? Really?

Walking to Park Slope yesterday to get my Tasti DiLite was the same thing - lots of youngish adults just hanging out. I want their job, I tell you that much!

Today is my special day. I'm going to see my therapist and then I'm getting my hair done. I always feel like an old lady when I say that, but I love it. I love getting my hair done. I'm revamping the color, and I'm totally overdue for a little trim. I think I'm going to keep the layers long this time and really try to grow it out. The color will be a va-va-voom red of the likes you've never seen. I hope. I'm excited!

Of course, as soon as I get over this bout of laziness, pictures of the new hair to follow.

I did it!

2006-08-15T10:02:00.000-04:00

Last week, I quit my job. And this Friday is my last day.

Whew.

More details to come, but suffice to say that I am done with the corporate world and am returning to my true love, public service. So public that I'll be working for the city. I don't think excited is a big enough word to contain how thrilled I am with this opportunity and all it can bring me, and me to it. Its so perfectly aligned with my Master's degree, which will make it all the more bearable when I consider that I have about 7 semesters left! And I'm happy about it. Its going to be a challenge for me but I am ready for it.

There, I said it out loud. I've been keeping it under wraps for months because of the nature of the hiring process, but its all approved and ready. For me. Me! Doing what I had labelled as a long-term goal! Hooray!

It So Pretty

2006-08-07T08:52:00.000-04:00

I finished my dress! For a week, I let the poor dear languish in unfinished limbo. But on Saturday, I strapped on my working hat and set to finishing. I put in the invisible zipper down the back, then added sleeves (my first time making/inserting sleeves!) and hemmed up the bottom.

I swear, each time I do a zipper they come out better and better. I have finally got the hang of the bottom part, where it rests into the regular back seam. Whew.

And sleeves! I love sleeves!

I don't know if you can tell in this photo, but I had to pleat the sleeves. I wound up altering this dress down a few inches (inches!) once I had cut and assembled the main pieces. So, even though I tried to compensate for that by trimming the sleeves, it didn't work out quite as I had envisioned. Hence, the slight pleating/gathering at the shoulder on both sleeves. I actually much like the detail, to be honest. I think it gives a little charm.

See? Full dress:

I have a photo of the back, which is, well, the back. I'll keep you in suspense for that one. The front has angled darts from the nipple area down and out to the waist. Both sides of the back of mid-center darts as well. I love the shaping of this dress. The waist/hip area fits very well, but the shoulders are a wee bit big. I know how to correct for this if I use this pattern again, and intend to do so.

This is a close-up of the front dart shaping. I truly just love it. In fact, I am wearing it today to work. Its that good. Mike left early this morning or I would have asked him to take a photo of me in it. Someday soon, I will share with the blogosphere.

And I cut the fabric for a new dress right after I finished this one. I already altered the pattern down to a size 10 or so, give the issues with fit I had with this finished dress. Seeing a finished product that I actually feel proud of and want to wear is making me want to make even more. I'm so excited that my skills are improving and I am technically proud of what I have accomplished.

Yay!

Its Hot. And Oh, My Hair

2006-08-03T09:12:00.000-04:00

Its hot. We all know this. The even worse thing about it being hot is that I can be very vain when it comes to my hair, and oh, the heat and my hair just don't get along very well.

I have very fine, thin hair. I also have very curly hair. But, and I know you know where this is going, the combo of fine hair and curly hair can only lead to one thing: frizz. Fluff. Not nice hair. To control it and feed my hair-vanity, I have a very systematic process that involves spray-on leave-in conditioner/thickening lotion, the perfect amount of gel, and my trusty hair dryer with diffuser.

But its hot. Its so hot that the mere thought of using a hair dryer makes me start sweating profusely. So all summer I've been on the hunt for products that I can throw in there and let dry naturally. It has been quite a struggle. I know this post would be better with pictures, but I'm at work now and no-can-do captain. But I thought I'd at least share my top faves of the moment:

This is MOP Form Foaming Heavy Hold something or other. It looks liquid in that bottle but when you pump it out, it turns into a foamy, sticky cloud. It is EXCELLENT as a thickener but can leave you a little sticky.

Then there's this, ThickenUp by Paul Mitchell. Now, I know people either love or hate PM, but I love this stuff. I love all PM products, really. And this one is good. I could also see using this one as my first step in the diffuser process, not just for drying naturally.

It seems that Blogger doesn't want to load any more photos, so you kids are outta luck and get links only.

The final waste of my money has been this lovely yet strange thing. I initially purchased it almost a year ago as a second-day-curl-enhancer which never quite worked out. It got too sticky and hard and cracked and strange. But its smells delish and I never gave up hope. This morning I used it on wet hair for the first time, and oh, the goodness. Its soft and curly and smells so good I want to eat it.

If anyone has curly hair and has questions, let me know. In my next life, I will definitely be a hairdresser. And now I go to work.

Race Day!

2006-07-26T10:13:00.000-04:00

I. Am. Awesome.

How awesome am I? I ran my 3.5 mile race, with 5,000 other runners/walkers in

35:30

That's thirty-five minutes and thirty seconds. That's two and a half minutes down from my practice run on Friday evening, and a minute faster than my first ever 5K (3.1 miles). My goal was under 40 minutes, and I more than beat that.

This is me, eating a peach right after crossing the finish line. Note the dorky knee brace (for stability) and the red face. Trust me, the red face is much more red and eggplant-y in person. Plus, the sweat. Oh, the sweat. It was nice and breezy at Jones Beach, but it was still humid and for the first part of the race, the sun was kinda hot. But I loved every second of it.

Oh, and I started the heel flap on my Jaywalker on my LIRR rides yesterday. I love the k1 sl1 heel flap - so awesome. But, not as awesome as me.

I suppose that awesome is the word of the day. I feel great. Hooray!

Say Wha?

2006-07-25T12:32:00.000-04:00

I did this today:

What NYC yarn store are you?

You are The Point!http://www.thepointnyc.comYou want it all. You might have a hankering for the most luxurious handpainted silk yarn. Or maybe a couple of skein of Kureyon. Don't worry, you can sit down, have a latte and absorb it all...
Take this quiz!

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And its interesting, because I have only been there one time. Don't get me wrong, it was great. The gal I spoke to was lovely, but I didn't purchase anything. I couldn't find a thing that interested me. Not a pattern (I was looking for a rectangular lace shawl at the time) or even a skein of something lovely to hold on the subway ride home. I know that lots of people love it and there's some Friday night thingy that happens there... I was surprised.

I favor Downtown Yarns and Purl. Interesting, the first time I went into Purl, I was so intimidated that I left almost immediately. But its now where I spend most of my yarn money (mostly because its expensive, no?) I felt right at home at Downtown Yarns right away, and think its my number one.

This morning on the LIRR (I'm working from the HQ today) I picked up my forlorn Jaywalker that I started in February. Yes, February. I started the heel flap and its so exciting. I love how the knit one slip one is looking and I can't wait to finish and start the other foot.

I'm feeling better today. I think I've relaxed a bit and am once again ready to face the world. And tonight is my race! It's 3.5 miles, and my goal is to complete in under 40 minutes. My test run on Friday night was 38 minutes, so I figure I'll give myself two extra minutes to deal with outdoor running and the hills that I just learned are part of the course. I'll let you know how I did!!

Best of Times or Worst of Times? Mostly Worst.

2006-07-24T09:03:00.000-04:00

I feel so battered right now. Could it be due to the asshole who manhandled me on the subway platform in his effort to RUN FOR THE TRAIN? I swear, this man tred to pick me up by grasping the outer edge of my shoulders and lift me clean off the ground to get me out of his way. I have a slight bruise blooming on my right shoulder, but I'm more startled than hurt. C'mon, fucker. There's an E train every 30 seconds in the morning at 34th Street. There was no reason for you to hurt me to make just this one. No job is that important that you have to hurt a girl in your effort to get there. I can only pray for karma, right?

But that isn't what really hurts me right now. I just did something that I have only done one other time in my life - I have called my therapist and asked for an emergency appointment. How's that for ominous?! I'm fine really, sure, I'm just fine, its only that I can't stand to be inside my own head and I think I need a wee bit more help right now and waiting until next week just isn't going to cut it.

(Edited, sorry if you missed it)

I'm sure I'm making a terribly psychotic impression on the Fort Greene knitting gals I met this weekend. I truly had a great time and hope that we can do it again. It just so happens that I need a little time like Saturday in my life right now, so it couldn't have come at a better moment. Thank you all for a lovely day!

Clarification

2006-07-19T09:24:00.000-04:00

I feel like I must clarify my post from yesterday. Not defend, just clarify. Especially since Blogger has the no-reply-comments-thingy.

I know that looking at rings means that we're getting closer. But the looking has been dragging on for months. Months. With zero movement. How do I know its zero movement? We are inheriting a family gem for the ring (oh so luckylucky!), and I am positive that the trade-off has not been made. No diamond = no ring = no engagement, though I have said time and again that I don't need a stinking diamond to get engaged. Just ask me! Plus, I happen to know that my true love is a procrastinator of the finest form. Procrastination + no diamond = no ring = no engagement. Oh, that and the fact that we've been together for almost 5 years. Almost five years + procrastination + no diamond = no ring = no engagement. Something is seriously wrong with that equation, no?

I think because I know its coming, it makes it harder to see how far away we really are. I just feel like he's never going to get around to it for one reason or another. And believe me, I know for sure that its my own psycho-emotional business that's gotten me into this thought pattern in the first place, but I find it hard to break that thought habit. I think there's only one way to break it, and I just don't trust anything enough to hold my breath waiting for it. And I can think of lots of reasons why he shouldn't do it, which is even worse. For starters, my dad-business. I don't think I actually want a wedding without my dad there, and unless I find a retroactive cure for cancer, that ain't happening. I think he may also on some level be punishing me for our short breakup. I dunno. This is what happens when I spend too much time peeking into my own brain. Must remember to stop doing that.

Moving on.

I'm making this. I got some loverly fabric from Mood, a cotton sateen with a branch print in two shades of cool blue. So appropriate and so awesome. I cut the pieces the weekend before last, but its been way too hot to sit at my kitchen table to begin sewing. I may try doing some basting in the A/C just to get things started. Basting should be good to help with the expert finishing I'm looking for on this dress.

I also got this:

And this:

And this:

Don't you just love the scalloped hem on this:

And finally, this, which is not vintage but just a few years old. I'm all about the pencil skirt right now, and they are so freaking easy to make and require under one yard of material, so they are economical as well, especially when you get the pattern for under $5.

I've been doing a little bit of online shopping. For vintage patterns, which I believe is my new obsession. So sorry that some of the photos aren't the bestest - the light wasn't great last night when I was inspired to finally take these pictures.

I got the first dress pattern from ebay, and the others from Lanetzliving

Still no progress on the purple Green Gable, which I haven't even photo'd yet. But the night before last I started on my first short row heel on the toe-up trekking sock from ages ago. I think I'm doing the wraps TOTALLY WRONG but its fun to see the heel take shape so I'm not stopping yet. I can always rip it out, right? And though I thought that toe-up was the one for me, I liked seeing the sock take shape better from cuff-down. Huh. You can't please everyone, not even yourself!

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

2006-07-18T14:50:00.000-04:00

I try to be really good about my finances (try being the operative word), but the one thing I can say that I am very conscious of is bringing lunch to work as opposed to buying overpriced food near Penn Station, where I work. But its hot, and I'm lazy, so I've been buying more than my self-imposed limit of once per week. The upside to this is that I get my little frequent-buyer card stamped at the joint where I get my overpriced salad. And today, my friends, I got my free salad.

Free salad. Sounds great, right? But now, let's examine the situation. It wasn't free. I had to purchase ten (10) salads, at an average of $6.50 each, to get that free salad. That means I paid $65 to get my free salad today. I was so excited to get the free salad that for a minute, I forgot that my getting the free salad at all meant that I had shelled out a fairly serious sum of money in the days past.

I can think of plenty of ways to spend that $65 other than salad. Like, I could have gone to the grocery store and purchased a week's worth of breakfasts, lunches and dinners instead. Or gone out for a few nicer meals than salad mixed by some minimum-wage worker wearing a hairnet, that I then shovel into my mouth while fielding emails from people across the country.

On another note, I must vent. I don't quite think this is the most appropriate forum, but I'm hurt and I feel like I can't say it out loud. That's why I blog, right? So I can say all things things that I can't say out loud? Or the things that nobody listens to, like obsessive talk of crafting? I'm not engaged yet. I love my true love, and he loves me, but I feel like he's dragging his heels. I just don't understand it. We have discussed when we want to have the actual wedding, and I know he's smart enough to know that the engagement comes before the wedding, but I'm still waiting. I half feel like I'm going to wait forever. FOREVER. We've gone to jewelers, we've looked at rings, and I know its coming. We're saving to buy a house together. We have more than one joint banking account. Intellectually I know that he's not going to disappear on me. But the emotional part of me hates him for not doing it yet. I feel like if he really really really wanted to do it, it would just be done and I wouldn't be broadcasting it for all of the zero people who read this. Every morning when I wake up next to him, the very first thing I think about is that he hasn't asked me. Every day that passes that he doesn't ask crushes me just a little bit more. Sometimes I get so hurt and angry about it that I just can't even look at him.

I look at every woman I see on the subway, on the street, at the gym, to check their hand to see if they are engaged. I hate the ones that are, because it means that their true love cared enough to ask them and nobody knows by looking at me that I am loved so fiercely by the best man I have ever known. I know I'm impatient about it. But I also feel like I want it so much more than he wants it, and that is such a scary thing because it means he can break my heart. I know this. But my heart clenches and I can't stop thinking about it even so.

I'm not some 50s throwback weirdo that wants to be a prim and proper housewife. Its not like that. I just want him, in a bigger way than I have him now. I feel like his not doing this yet means that he's not sure about me. That he's still trying to decide if I'm really the one, if he even likes me enough. I dislike that feeling enormously. It exposes me for being weak and unsure and truthfully, it isn't like me to be so unconfident. But this one thing turns me in the a skittish, sobbing, pathetic rag of a girl.

And thus, I have vented. Let the chips fall where they may.

Compulsive

2006-07-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

I have a shoe problem. Actually, make that a wardrobe problem. After working at nonprofits for 6 years, I don't have much clothing that actually looks good enough to wear to my current office. So, after wiping out all of my credit card debt, I suddenly feel like I've earned the opportunity to rectify that situation. Its bad. I know its bad. But is it so terrible to wish to look a little nicer, to be a little more stylish, to feel a little more confident? Enter these:

They would look super sharp with the dress pants I recently purchased, and with the right dress or skirt, could even be all season shoes. Plus, they are from Naturalizer, which means you can actually walk in them. But how does one decide if the shoes that one covets are worth the expense? Oh, and are these even in style anymore?

Still no knitting. Its too freaking hot, though today is a lovely lovely day. Still no sewing either, though I have high hopes. I'd like to make something like this. Kind of obi-like. I have this great coordinating fabric that I used to make some friends tote bags, and matching grosgrain ribbon that I think would be perfect. I'd do it reversible, of course. And I'd like to angle the sides where the ties would live so that its not just a rectangle. I am certain that this is my weekend project.

If I can, I may stop by Mood today after work and look for some fabric for the vintage pattern I got from ebay recently. Its an a-line short sleeved dress and requires only 4 pattern pieces. I figure I have no more excuses. Right? Right.

Oh Dear

2006-06-27T09:04:00.000-04:00

I just realized how incredibly long its been since I posted anything. Anything at all. I suppose there's tons to update, but is it even worth it as its been so darned long?

Aha! List it is!

I finished my first semester of graduate school, and somehow wound up with a 3.5 GPA. Now that's exciting news. I'm all registered for Fall, and ready for what will be a difficult semester as I'm taking a statistics/research class. Keeping my fingers crossed...
I got four new patterns and may have created an ebay addiction for vintage patterns, of which I am the proud owner of one. Pictures to come.
I started a Green Gable sweater in an effort to finally make a darned shirt to wear. I like how its coming so far. I am just a few rows away from the part where you separate the sleeves and get to try it on, so its the true test coming up. Whew.
I am in the middle of a few pairs of socks, all on foot #1. I am about to try my first short row heel on a toe-up sock with the orangey Trekking yarn featured in the last post, which as we've decided was ages ago. Maybe by the time I finish it'll be sock-wearing time again.
I'm still running and now have a new goal - I want to run a 5K in 30 minutes. I just clocked myself this weekend and I did 32:28 which isn't bad for someone with my stubby legs. I figure if I can work on some speed drills, I can easily shave off those two and a half minutes. My goal is by the end of the summer, so I guess that means Labor Day.

I have lots to say about all sorts of other stuff, but I think I'm taking a risk posting at work. I'll try to get some picks up at home in the next few days, and then be better about all this.

Welcome back to me!

Try and Try Again

2006-04-15T16:35:00.000-04:00

I did go yarn shopping yesterday. Due to the rain, I stayed in Brooklyn and hit up Knit-A-Way, which seriously? Gets stranger and stranger every time I'm in there. The owner is nice, but there's always something off when I go there - yesterday it was the homeless man seated at their main front table, and the register was down so the owner had to add my stuff up without a receipt.

On the plus side, I got the needles I wanted (size 0 bamboo dpns) and I found two balls of Trekking XXL sock yarn that I fell in love with. I know you're thinking, more sock yarn and you haven't ever finished a pair? I know, I know. But I have goals. Aspirations.

I brought it home. I love it.

I hope the photo does it justice. Its a great fall color scheme - oranges and yellows and pea green and a nice light brown. I love it.

I've seen others use this kind of Trekking, the non-patterning kind, and I love the way it comes out. I'm 90% crazy about the colors (a little too baby for even me) but I like it.

I started a sock, a toe-up sock using that new technique from the new Knitty - the magic toe thingy. Magic indeed. I started the damned thing, no exaggeration, 6 times. And on the 7th time, I got it to work for me. At least I know now that I have perfected the technique. It looks good, though you can see the wonky part where I cast on the slip knot. Haven't figured out a way to get rid of it, and by that time I just wanted to knit the darned thing.

I have completed the toe (thank you, laundry!) and am now into the foot part. I'm using Wendy's Toe-Up pattern, just with the different toe for the new method. Sorry for the non-links today. Mike's machine runs Safari, which doesn't play nice with Blogger. I think this is the perfect sock - its just stockinette, which is what I wanted. I love the colors. I'll be learning the short row heel, and I'll be able to take it with me on the subway. So, if you see me with it on the train, please say hello!

Sigh

2006-04-14T08:49:00.000-04:00

I have some free time right now. I almost don't know what to do with myself.

I finished blocking the shawl and it worked beautifully. The stitches relaxed nicely, and the piece is so so so so so soft. I wore it a few times this week and last week, and I just love it. It works equally well as a shawl and as a scarf. In fact, its super snuggly nd warm as a scarf, which I love. It will definitely come in handy next winter.

Right now I'm torn as to what to do next. I am thinking socks, as I must make my heel on Jaywalker #1 (remember those, that I started mid-February? Haven't touched them since the Florida conference). I also started the other socks, but I am thinking I'd really like a plain stockinette sock to work on instead of a lace sock. But, I only have the two sets of sock needles that are in use, so that would require buying another set. I don't think that's the worst thing in the world, and in fact, it may be a good excuse to go to Downtown Yarns to return two balls of mohair I am never going to use. Let's just hope they have the sock needles! I know Purl has a set, as I saw them on my day off on Wednesday.

Speaking of which, two days off this week! And its Spring Break at school! Even so, I have two papers to write and a team presentation to work on, so I still have a lot to do, I just have more time to do it in. Today, I am debating what to do. I have drink plans for 6 PM on tonight, but I have the whole day ahead of me. Do I take a Pilates class at 10? Do I skip it and go for a run later? What about sewing? I have so many ideas right now, but I am also leaning towards just sitting still and doing nothing, as that seems like such a luxury right now.

I'm thinking socks. Maybe a visit to some stores and socking... and I'll do the dishes. For sure.

A Finished Object!

2006-04-02T21:16:00.000-04:00

Don't get too excited, as its unblocked and crawling with ends. But, I finally had a moment to myself and was determined to finish this thing! And I did! And I got almost all of my reading done! Hooray!

First, the dorky modeled shot (also totally blurry, sorry!), with me kneeling in front of an unhung mirror in our disastrously messy office at home:

Next, the full shot. This shot is great, because you can see Mike's plans underneath for his freelance project, as well as my big toe, his new computer and his old computer, and a box from when I moved in one year ago (for the second time for those of you who are counting) that is now filled with clothes we desperately need to donate.

And finally, the detail:

I think that the color is probably best represented by the full shot, at least on my screen. Its a really deep eggplant-y purple and I love it. Its super snuggly soft and I kinda wanna sleep with it tonight. The yarn is very sproingy, and so I hope it loosens up a bit once blocked - I'd like it to get a little bit longer, and for the garter stitch to open up a bit. I don't know what to exepct with this yarn. Has anyone used Knit PIcks Elegance and blocked it successfully?

Finally. Something is finished. And I actually can't wait to wear it! I suppose I can give it a soak after class tomorrow and spread it out to dry overnight. Maybe by Tuesday I'll be able to wear it!

Forgive This Ranting and Raving

2006-03-16T20:42:00.000-05:00

So no knitting, not until three years from now when I will potentially hold a Masters degree and get my life back. And no relaxing either, as the fuckers who live above me have taken to jumping rope in the apartment. I suppose it wasn't enough for them to play basketball inside the house, and I guess that after they got in trouble for that they decided something as simple and 1950s as jumping rope would be better received. Wait, that assumes thought. I don't think they actually have brains, as I have only heard them scream and grunt so far, in the two years I've lived here, below the worst fucking neighbors ever. If their mother was ever home, maybe she'd do something about it. Maybe she wouldn't. As of this moment, while the light fixture in my living room is shaking so badly that I almost pray the ceiling would give way so that at least the fuckers would fall through and break their legs and not be able to jump rope anymore, I seriously doubt that the bitchasscuntfucker mother would do anything to stop them anyway. She never ever has, so why ruin her perfect record? Huh? You're supposed to parent your children? Oh, and you're supposed to stay home at night so that your children don't jump rope inside an APARTMENT BUILDING WHERE YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY RESIDENT? Huh? Really? Ok, so maybe I'm a little stressed out about working and schooling and not sleeping and feeling sick and not being able to concentrate and that eye twitch is coming back again, and I have to memorize the fucking Presidents for a grad school class and hello, did I mention that I'm 27? And that memorizing lists was so fourth grade, which was, like, ages ago? And its really hard to read stuff when you are SERIOUSLY THINKING THAT THE CEILING WILL FALL ON YOU AT ANY MOMENT and did I mention that I don't sleep anymore? Because I don't sleep anymore. In fact, tonight I am going to drug myself with Benadryl to make sure that I sleep just a little. Just enough to get me through the weekend, so that I can continue memorizing the fucking presidents. In order by election year. In fact, I don't see any positives at all, in this moment, which frightens me. My job is currently sapping the lifeforce of my soul through mindnumbing tasks, school work is overwhelming me, and for some reason, every time I wash the fucking dishes, its like they multipy by the thousands. I need to sleep but I can't because my home is LITERALLY SHAKING. And I'm too tired to even cry. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Ice Dancing

2006-03-03T09:02:00.000-05:00

I don't know about your Brooklyn, but my Brooklyn is one big ice cube. As in, sheets of ice. Icy ice. Lots of it. Its like these jerks don't know there are city laws that require property owners to clear the sidewalks in front of their property within a certain time of snowfall. I hope every house I slipped in front of today gets a big fat ticket. Make that two tickets. Big ones.

But this makes me happy:

Look! Its two full pattern repeats! And it looks so nice and pretty! And look! Its on my foot! I didn't do schoolwork last night, and instead took some relaxation time to work on the sock.

You can still see that strange part on the yellow side of the toe. Once I finish the sock and can turn it inside out, I'll be fixing that. I'm starting to get nervous about the second sock. I am not sure I want to knit second socks. That seems really intimidating and overwhelming to me right now. Of course, I want a pair of socks and not just one of each style. But to actually have to go through this twice? That's something to consider, especially given my time availability these days. Maybe after I finish this pair and my Jaywalkers, its time to consider stockinette socks only, and none of this lace or patterned stuff. But, that's part of the fun - getting to knit lace in such a small, controlled environment. Hmmm. Something to think about.

104

2006-03-02T13:32:00.000-05:00

It looks like I missed my 100th post. So, let this, my 104th post, be a celebration of all the times I actually wrote something!

Goals for the next 100 (or, 96):

Write more often. At least 2x a week. That seems like a good goal.
Post more pictures. Even if I can't get to knitting and progress photos, there must be something I could show.
Use my voice!

While we're on numbers, I was charged 50 cents for a banana today. 50 cents! Is anyone out there as outraged as I am over this price? Typically, bananas go for about 25 cents. Occasionally I've bought them for 30 cents. But 50? As in two for a dollar? That's like robbery. Seriously. I actually walked out of the first place, because I decided that I would not pay that much for one stinking banana. It didn't even look that good. But then, I really wanted a banana. And the next place I went into also charged the same amount. So I decided that today I would do it, but never again.

Now, the banana is an issue for me today because I'm hungry. I am hungry like I haven't eaten in weeks. Hungry like Nicole Ritchie must be, if her nerves even work properly anymore. Its the gym-in-the-morning thing. Yesterday I was starving all day, too. And I needed to feed my hunger with good food, and not with crap, or what's the freaking point in waking up at 5AM? It worked well today, too. Last night I was able to start a paper and read two chapters for school. I went to bed at around 10 PM, and then did it all over again this morning. Tonight I'll do more reading and maybe work on my skirt. I think this might work for me!

Sleep. Sleep, little sleeper...

2006-03-01T08:54:00.000-05:00

Today I got up at 5:00 AM to go to the gym. Say wha? You heard me right. I got up at 5 AM to go to the gym. I realized that I need my evenings for schoolwork, and I am unwilling to give up my gym obsession, so mornings it is.

Observations on waking at 5AM:

Its dark. Really dark. It seems like its darker than nighttime dark.
Its lonely. Nothing is open. And I'm talking about a ten-minute walk along a stretch of Fulton Street in Brooklyn. I think that one dirtydeli was open and that's it.
I saw 2 people. Strangely, they were both fat women and they were both wearing large down coats with the hood up. I did see a third person leaving my gym, but I don't count that person, as they're crazy earlygymgoer like me.
I saw 1 bus along the entire walk. Remember folks, this is Fulton Street. One bus. Typically there's one bus every 10 feet on Fulton.
Its hard to get up. But, thankfully, that's the hardest part. Once I was actually out of bed, the rest wasn't too bad. I had arranged my clothing the night before, so I grabbed my sneaks and my sports bra from the pile and left the bedroom so as not to wake my true love, and once I got out, it was easy. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, got dressed and left.
I like the gym in the morning. Its quiet. The gum-chewers as still asleep. And you know that the people there at that hour are as serious (read: obsessed) as me, not like the idiots who show up at 7 PM with makeup on and prance around, who are there to see and be seen.
And so I ran. I had to do a longer warmup than usual to get my legs working, but my run was just as good as it is in the evenings. And now I have the whole night free, though I'm not sure how long that'll be given I woke up at 5 freaking AM.
The nicest part was walking home. Its like my street came alive in the time I ran 3.5 miles. That was cool.

And now here I am. Its work-time, and I've already done my run. That's good. I feel good.

In knitting news, I am one and a half repeats into the Elfine sock, and I love the pattern. I love Magic Loop. Seriously. And I love the colors I chose for the sock. I just wish I had more time to work on it. I realized that I haven't finished a project in a while, and that's kinda bugging me. I think this weekend I'm going to make an effort to finish the purple blankie shawl that you may remember from the fall. Oh, and I also started a skirt last weekend that I'll likely finish this weekend. Its cute. Purple corduroy. Yum.

What's This?

2006-02-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

I had a decent time in Florida. The conference was super boring - there was really no reason at all for me to sit there and watch as all the lawyers walked right past my exhibit table. I think I gave out five brochures. That's it. But, I had lots of time to do some knitting and school reading, and each day I read three newspapers. I love reading many newspapers a day, and if I ever have the time to do so again, I will relish the opportunity.

I started my Jaywalkers while I was down there. I'm sure that by now, no link is required for this pattern.

I think its looking pretty good. I love how easy the pattern is, and how cool it looks knitted up. I fear that the sock will be too big for me - I didn't have my gauge thingy with me (I always forget something, don't you?) and I've got an extra stitch or so per inch. I think that if they are really too big, I can always gift them to my mama. She'd love them, I'm sure.

Just another gratuitous shot.

And since I'm now going sock-crazy, I started another pair this weekend in between nesting at home. These are worth linking to, as they are super cool. They're the Elfine's Socks
(that's a PDF to the pattern, so watch out) and they are knit toe-up. I have been wanting to try that method, and thought that the pattern was so beautiful. It took me about four or five starts with the figure-8 cast on before finally getting it to work, and I'm now one full 16-row lace repeat into the instep. The pic below is when I had just finished the toe.

You can see at the tip of the toe, on the yellow side, the larger stitches. When I'm all done, I think I'm going to need to open up that area and tighten those stitches. I guess I still have some learning to do on that cast-on!

Yay! Socks!

Getting Ready

2006-02-10T09:16:00.000-05:00

No, not for that. No kniitting olympics for me, as I'll be traveling for work next week and have this pesky grad school thing interfering with life and my running, so I think I've got enough pressure thankyouverymuch.

But seriously. I have a lot going on right now and its starting to feel overwhelming. And I'm not even an official third of the way in to the first semester of the MPA and we're talking three years if I do this degree part-time. I'm tired. Bone tired. So tired that all week I couldn't for the life of me remember what day it was. I've got a zillion pages of reading to do a night, though I made a deal with myself to start skimming, because it can't all be that important and as long as I can debate major themes/topics, I see no need to kill myself with the teensy weensy details. I think this will work to my benefit, as I deal very strongly in my own perception of situations, and knowing that I'm getting it done is what I need to focus on, rather than Reading Every Word For Knowledge. There'll be time for that when I study for the final. Its just this one class... but anyway.

The good news is that I'll be in Florida next week for a conference. At the Ritz, that's right. Sure, I won't have time to go outside but at least I'll be there! And that means two 3-hour plane rides for school reading and knitting, and also manning a conference exhibit table for 3 days with loads o'time for school reading and knitting. It also means Ritz room service and awesome bedding. So, I guess in my own version of the Knitting Olympics, I want to knit the Jaywalkers while I'm there. Or at least one. I'm also going to bring that yarn I got for Knit Picks ages ago to begin a lace stole. The pattern, also from Knit Picks, and missing from their site, is beautiful. I plan to use that as a diversion from the socks if necessary.

Speaking of that yarn, I'm using my brand new swift to wind it up, but I'm finding that I really want a ball winder. Its just too freaking hard to wind 440 yarns of laceweight yarn by hand. I already got a knot and had to break/retie the yarn once. No good. I think today at lunch I'm going to trek over to the Yarn Connection on Madison and see if they have one. I also need the needles for it...

All In The Name Of Science

2006-02-03T08:40:00.000-05:00

I fucked it up. I seriously fucked up the sock. I am so not happy about this. And its all because of you, dear blog, that I did this.

Let's set the stage. Its been over a month since I posted a picture. I haven't finished anything in a while, even though I'm so close on a number of items. Mike isn't home, so I knit while watching bad TV. I decide to model the sock for all the people out there that don't read my blog.

This is the sock post-fuckup, and I'm hiding the fuckup spot. Its also post-model, which is why (I think) it looks a little stretched out and weird. As you can see, I've turned the heel (I love saying that) and am now on the actual foot part, getting ready to do the toe.

This is the sock just minutes after the fuckup. You can also see what I was watching, for which I have no shame. Zero. What you may notice if you look at the actual sock is that it is a wee bit funny-looking at the front left. That's because when I tried the sock on the first time (not the time you see here, the second time) two stitches popped right off the freaking needle. I am not good at correcting mistakes, so I sort of fudged getting them back on the needle after they had dropped three rows down by the time I got the sock off my foot and into rescue mode. Oy. I busted out the crochet hook, I got out reference books, and I still goofed the whole thing up. All because I wanted to share a darned photo with blogland.

Eh. Whaddaya gonna do? Its my first one, admittedly my practice sock. But I'm still annoyed, because I kinda like it. I must say, the self-striping yarn has me running hot and cold. I get excited for a color change but when I see the sock as a whole it looks really busy to me.

Here's the heel. The heel looks small to me, but having never done this before I have no way of knowing if I am right or not. Any input? Anyone? Please? I followed the instructions to a T (well, minus forgetting to do the slipped stitches on the flap but that wouldn't make a huge difference for anything besides picking up for joining with the gusset again). It looks small, but when I tried on the sock, it felt ok.

Now I just wanna finish the things so that I can move on.

This is the last photo for now. And I'm only including it because, despite all the issues, I truly am proud of what I've done here. I'm amazed, really. I am making a SOCK. A sock that looks like other socks that I have purchased. As in, its not a tube sock, it has shape and style and even a little sass. And there you have it.

Again with the nophotos

2006-02-01T09:40:00.000-05:00

I can't prove it, but I am making so much progress on the sock. I "turned the heel," as I have read about so many times, and it was a fascinating thing. I felt such a sense of accomplishment. I am. Making. A sock.

Of course, I fucked it up, but I was able to fudge it afterwards. I didn't slip the first stitch of the heel flap rows as suggested in the pattern because I skimmed over that part (I do this often). That made picking up the stitches later to rejoin with the gusset a little tricksie but not impossible. And, as this is my practice pair, I'm cool with it. Totally. For sure.

I even tried it on, after I finished those decreases before the straight foot part starts (are you with me?), and it seemed to fit. The heel seemed smaller than I would have thought, but as I've never actually touched a hand-knit sock before, I am not sure what it should look like or feel like. I'll try it on again and actually take a damned picture, as I've been promising to do for weeks now. I'm still interested in trying to make the second one toe-up, but I also got an order of yarn from Knitpicks, so I'm half tempted to just put this one aside after I finish sock #1 and move on to the Jaywalker socks. Especially since my skein of Trekking XXL is just not cooperating. The inside pull is getting all tangled on itself and I have to pull out chunks at a time and knit off the chunks instead of from the skein. its quite annoying. Has this happened to others? How do you deal with it? Its so freaking annoying, and makes the sock so much less portable.

On another note, I started graduate school this week. I have now had both of my classes, and I like them for very different reasons. I'll elaborate once I've had more classes, and more sleep, but I'm so thrilled. I feel really good about making the decision to go back to school, and as such, I am prepared to deal with the difficulties that go along with it.

Still Here

2006-01-26T09:25:00.000-05:00

I feel like I've been writing a lot of those "I'm still here" posts lately. Sorry. I am committed to this blogging thing, I just haven't had the time or the energy to deal with it right now. How about a list?

My first semester graduate school officially starts today, though my classes are on Mondays and Tuesdays, so I won't start until then. I'm so freaking excited, yet worried about just how I'm going to manage full time work, full time life, part time school, gym obsession, and time with my hopefully soon-to-be-future-husband. My therapist is suggesting that I see this as a time of abundance (good) rather than a time of overwhelmingness (bad). Is that a word?
I just spent $175 on books, so I'll be working through my current projects for a while. No more yarn purchases for me!
On the current projects note, I'm still slogging away at the blankie-shawl. I'm into the fourth skein of yarn, which according to the pattern I'm using means that I should be done by know. But I want the shawl to be a little longer, so I'm going to continue. I think that this skein shall be my last, though, because there are just too many stitches on the needles right now. Picture as soon as I can get around to it.
Socks! I am sock crazy right now, even though I'm still on the goshdarned leg of the damned thing. As this is my test pair, I think that this weekend I am going to go into the heel shaping, etc, and see if I can actually pull this off. As per my initial idea, the match to the pair shall be tried toe-up. I'm liking the sock-knitting, though. So portable, and I'm so interested in seeing what pattern is coming up next on the Trekking yarn.
Sock confession: before the big book purchase, I did happen to place an order for enough yarn for two pairs of socks, size 1 dpns and a hugeass size 1 circular to experiment with Magic Loop.

I guess that's it for my update. I know, posts sans pictures are boring. I know this. This weekend, I'll steal some computer time and post a billion photos.

More Shoes? Really?

2006-01-13T08:36:00.000-05:00

Its true. I just can't stop buying shoes.

But aren't they so cute? They are pretty comfortable, too. I find that most of time, flats are harder to break in than heels, because there is more of an unnatural feeling to a flat shoe. I actually find heels more comfortable in many cases. But these shoes, boy are they cute. I had no trouble the first time wearing them, and today is number two. Just as cute with jeans as with a skirt. And for once, DSW actually paid off! I got them there for about $45, and Zappos (thanks for the picture!) is selling them for over $70. I'm surprised because oftentimes I find that DSW isn't less expensive than regular retailers.

I didn't sleep last night. Well, I sort of slept last night. Snorey McSnoresalot came home drunk last night, and he has a cold. The triple-threat of snore possibilities. The dude is sleeping like a log due to the alcohol, which increases snoring behavior, can't really breathe because of his cold, and is regularly prone to snoring. Guess where that left me? If you guess awake on the couch, you win a zillion dollars. After still staring a the ceiling praying that he would just shut the fuck up until 12:30, I left our bed. It wasn't much better on the couch, where I could still hear him. I feel alseep sometime after 1, and then woke up with a start at 3:40, when I decided that I could try going back to bed. He was still sawing away, but I managed to sleep until my alarm went off this morning at 6:40. Suffice to say that this little scrambled egg is NOT a happy camper today.

I have decided that I must learn the Magic Loop method. I've been trying to work on my sock, but I just can't stand knitting with those toothpick dpns. It really hurts my hands, and when I do it on the subway, I'm too fearful of poking my eye out. Any suggestions for Magic Loop tutorials? Or do I really need to buy the leaflet?

Doofus

2006-01-01T17:23:00.000-05:00

I finished the baby blanket with a few days to spare. I soaked and then blocked it out, and boy oh boy did that work well. It washed up so nice and soft and smooth and drapey. And guess what? She loved it. And guess what else? I totally spaced out and didn't take a picture of it. Boo. I'm sure I'll get a photo of it wrapped around baby goodness, which will be way better than any photo I could have taken. But that still makes me a doofus. Especially since Mike got a tripod for X-Mas.

I am making a concerted effort to finish the green scarf. Its going well, and I should be fringe-ing by tomorrow. Pictures to be taken soon.

Happy New Year!

Resolved.

2005-12-18T19:34:00.000-05:00

Sorry I have been completely MIA lately. Things haven't been so easy for me for the past several weeks, but I'm pleased to say that the negative forces in my life have been negotiated away and I am ready willing and able for a new start. The even better news is that I've actually found that new start and rather like it.

I've also gotten the crochet bug. I learned after learning how to knit, mainly to do some decorative edges and the like, but last winter actually made a scarf. Today, I started another crochet scarf. One pattern repeat in and I am so down with this - the pattern, from www.crochetme.com is amazing.

I have about 10 rows to go on the baby blanket, which works out great since we're leaving on Wednesday morning, after which I will officially be out of time. I think I may wash and block it there, as I won't see the recipient until Christmas Day. Whew.

Socks on hold, but they may be my travel piece, along with the crochet. Green scarfy is almost done.

More when I have the chance, but I'm still standing. And standing proud.

Its been some time

2005-12-04T10:54:00.000-05:00

I realize that its been many moons since I've last posted. Time just gets away from me these days.

In that time, Mike celebrated his 30th birthday...

...and he was a real trooper. I'm so proud of him. He's made so many changes in his life in the time that I've known him and he deserves whatever goodness may come his way.

In other news, I'm still knitting though I am embarassed to show another progress shot of the baby blanket. I just want it done. I know I can finish it, its just that I keep forgetting to pick it up while I'm sitting on the couch.

And last night my sweetie took me to see Alvin Ailey at the CityCenter. What an amazing show. If any of you NYCers are in any way interested in modern dance, GO SEE ALVIN AILEY. Their run just started, so there's still time to buy a ticket. Its worth whatever you pay. I never wanted last nght to end - it was magical. And, we lucked out with an aisle seat with no seat in front of it for my 6'4" stud. What are the odds?

Cranberrylicious

2005-11-23T11:54:00.000-05:00

In my family, I'm considered the baby. Even though I am now 27 years old, my family often doesn't see that I am self-sufficient - including that I have a job (even though its a mess right now), I can feed myself, I rent an apartment and I am in a serious relationship with a man I plan to marry. As such, I was never allowed to do the "grown-up" things to help prepare for Thanksgiving. I was always relegated to the chores, like grating carrots for the stuffing, or peeling potatoes, or washing the spoons. One year about a decade ago, I was finally allowed to prepare one thing. One thing only. One thing that only I liked to eat: The Cranberry Sauce.

As its the only thing that I was ever allowed to make (their fault, because I am actually quite an excellent baker and a fairly decent cook), I have perfected my recipe over the years. I like a basic sauce, made from whole fresh cranberries, with extra fruit cooked in, and walnuts added at the last second. Even though I am not going home this year, I still made the damned cranberry sauce. And its gooooood.

For those interested, get one bag of fresh cranberries. Rise and drain. In a large pot, combine one cup of water, and one cup of sugar. I like to break it up - two-thirds regular sugar and one-third brown sugar. Bring that combo to a boil, making sure to stir and dissolve the sugar, and then add the cranberries. As it comes back to a boil, the cranberries will whistle and pop, which is a lot of fun. Chop/dice two pears and one apple (I like to leave the skin on but that's a matter of preference. Also, I use two pears because they are generally small this time of year) and mix them in so that they get to boil too. Keep it at a light boil for at least ten minutes. Then cool it. I like to add the walnuts in just before serving so that they stay crunchy. Its the perfect blend of sweet and tart and I lilke it a lot.

If you make it, let me know how it comes out!

I'm Still Standing (yeah yeah yeah)

2005-11-22T09:56:00.000-05:00

But barely. I have a variety of stress-induced illnesses to add to my sore neck and they are driving me nuts. Seriously, kids. If you ever have the chance, don't let your boss abuse you.

But I have been knitting. I'm nearly done with my greenilicious scarf. I frogged (or attempted to) the mohair mess and I'll be returning the other balls back to Downtown Yarns for something different. And my sock is moving oh-so-slow. And, after all that, I realized that times a-wastin' on the baby blanket. So I made a new rule - MUST KNIT ON BABY BLANKET. Followed by MUST COMPLETE BABY BLANKET.

That's all for now. More when I have my wits about me and when my life is back on track.

The Whole Shebang

2005-11-14T09:26:00.000-05:00

Where to begin? So much to report. And tons of pictures, which I tried to do at a lower resolution to avoid the slow loading of the page.

I am perhaps most excited about the serger. Here she is:

She was very expensive. But she is now mine. I got her from an amazing sewing store in Queens, called Sew Right. They have a web site, but since I can't link with my Blogger-Safari combo, you are out of luck. I have gotten many supplies there for my Bernina, and the service is just amazing. My mom and I decided that since I wanted a serger, she would combine my birthday and hannukah gifts this year and contribute some monies towards my purchase. I thought I could get one for around $300, but no dice. This one, an Elna 744, is used, and she was almost double that amount. She retails for $975 if anyone is truly interested.

This is the one stitch I have mastered, the Safety 4 Thread.

Next, I'll be trying to do a rolled hem. How freaking awesome is that? I'm going back to the store on Thursday morning for the first of two free hour-long instructional sessions. Like I said, the service and support at this store is amazing. If you are looking to get a machine, even if you come in from Brooklyn like I do, it is totally worth it to patronize this store. Let me know if anyone wants more information.

And on to the next. My lame-o sock. I am using the Socks 101 article from the Spring 05 Knitty, and Trekking XXL yarn, on size 2 dpns. I got the yarn at needles at Seaport Yarn, my first foray to that store. I have mixed feelings. The woman who helped me there was FANTSTIC, but the store itself left me feeling disorganized, confused, and bewildered. I don't know if I will go back... but I did appreciate the cash-only policy. It helps with the budget, you know.

As you can see, its less than an inch of ribbing right now, and its an understatement that I got distracted by all of my other projects. But I like it. Here's the full skein for color hounds:

I can't wait to see what its going to turn into. So far, there's some speckled black-n-white, and then a solid band of that pale, minty green. I know it'll be awesome. As this is my practice/learning pair of socks, I think I'm going to do one sock top down and the other toe-up. We'll see what happens.

Moving right along, I wanted something portable to work on, and love scarfy goodness, and feel absolutely in love with this lush yarn at Knit-A-Way in Brooklyn.

I love the colors, and it is sooooo soft. I've got about 30 inches out of one ball, on size 11's doing 2x2 rib. Its pretty. I have two more balls, and I'm thinking I can use the second one to finish up and use the third to make a hat. Or, go back to get a fourth ball so that I can make the scarf a little longer (I like to wrap twice), and then have extra for fringe.

And finally, the third and final piece of work is this mohair shrug-like thing from a house pattern from Downtown Yarns.

I'm having a heck of a time with this. The project is shown as a sample in their window, and its so cute. Its got a ruffly collar and sleeve hems, and is knit in this beautiful mohair. But they yarn they recommended for the project is pretty off gauge, and I am finding the pattern to be quite poorly written. I'm doing a lot of math on this one, and its starting to hurt my head. I have finished one sleeve, and am ready to progress to the back and back-neck shaping, to continue on down to the other sleeve. And then, similar to the OSW, you seam the sleeves and then pick up in the round around the edges for the ruffle border. That's done in short rows, which I am excited about. However, I think I'm using more yarn than I should be, given the gauge problems, and I don't even know if this is going to fit me. I should have just started over at the very beginning to try to match the gauge instead of fudging the pattern, but now, after doing almost a whole skein of mohair, I am quite loath to pull it out and start over with much bigger needles. I have a dreaded feeling that this might be a throwaway project. But, its keeping me busy in the short term, so I guess I'll just keep fudging. Or, how hard do we think it'll be to frog mohair and start over with bigger needles?

Whew. All done. And now I'm exhausted!

Boing

2005-11-13T09:42:00.000-05:00

I've been on a yarn binge. In the last three days, I've started three projects, and bought a new machine. I'll explain and show pix when I have more time, but for now, let's leave it at this list below. The list is mostly to help me remember what needs to be photographed and what stories to accompany the photos.

1. Gorgeous green tinged yarn for a 2x2 ribbed scarf on #11 needles. Its so soft and cushy. I think I may just have to make a matching hat.
2. My first sock! I got some Trekking XXL and started my first sock using #2 needles.
3. Purple mohair for a house pattern shrug/cardi.
4. My brand new (well, used actually) Elna serger, which I am struggling to make work!

Whew. Mike needs the computer to work on the weekends, so I am unable to do this now. But since I am STILL not expected back at work, Monday will see a complete report.

Lotsa Food

2005-11-09T09:32:00.000-05:00

Last night, Mike and I went on a company-sponsored date. It was awesome. He's on the comittee for his firm's holiday party, and was thus conducting a tasting. Yay for having a boyfriend who is doing a food tasting! As the committee broke up to try different places, I went with him. We went to this place called HK, for Hell's Kitchen, on 9th Ave at 39th Street. It was pretty darned good, if anyone is interested in trying a new spot.

Since they wanted to get a sense of the whole menu, we got to try a lot of dishes. There was SO much food. I can't even describe how much food we had. I've never eaten a meal that big. We got a regular salad, muscles, sesame tuna, crab cakes, steak frites au poivre (yum yum yum), grilled salmon, and an apple torte dessert. Geez. That's four appetizers and two entrees, plus desert. For two people. And they did not skimp on the portions. All of it, save for the tuna, was delish. Toss in the cocktails, and it was a blast. And, it was paid for by his firm! Totally free date!

On another note, I'm lame. Or rather, I'm feeling lame. This neck thing is getting me down, though today it is MUCH better than yesterday. Thanks for the tips! The job thing is also getting me down. I really need some resolution here. Its driving me bonkers. I think today I'm going to call the org's lawyerlady (as I lovingly call her) to ask about an update and any reassessment on the timing for resolution. Even though I have other things going on, it is so hard not to feel like my whole life is on hold. I just want this to be over so that I can move on. Seriously. I've put up with enough of my boss's crap in the past year and a half to have to deal with this on top of everything.

But, on Monday in therapy I made a vow to not waste this time. I want to do things during the day that I'm not otherwise able to do. Things on my list are: Go to School Products (never been, can you believe it?!). Pick a new museum exhibit to see. Go to a movie matinee (I LOVE going to movies by myself). Sew Sew Sew. Knit Knit Knit. Going to School Products will probably help that, right? I need more yarn. I have Ideas and I'd like to act on them. If anyone out there has any daytime fun suggestions, now is the time to share them!

Boooooring

2005-11-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

I'm still home. And I'm still bored out of my skull. No developments yet in the world of crazybossland. I saw the organization's hired lawyer on Wendesday last week, and there's been no movement as far as I can tell. The lawyer at that point said two more weeks to resolution, which, if accurate, would make it four weeks that I've been sitting around waiting for this to blow over. Not cool. I'm losing my edge, man. My brain is rotting. And, the stress is TOTALLY taking its toll on my poor little body. My neck pain from last Friday (no, not this Friday that just passed, but the Friday before that, Oct. 28) is still hanging on, and I'm getting really pissed off about it. I'm sort of not worried, because it definitely feels like muscle pain, and it only feels sore like that when I hang my head forward. No other direction. No back pain, no headaches (aside from those pesky sinus headaches), and only mild shoulder soreness, but I can actually feel those knots.

On the other hand, I only had one panic attack during this whole thing, and that is a serious, major accomplishment.

And on the other other hand, I got accepted to Baruch's Masters in Public Administration program! Yay for me! I got my admissions packet on Saturday, and have been feeling really good about that.

Now, I'm off to vote for NYCs Mayor. I really love voting. Geeky, I know, but I just love it.

Scarfy Goodness

2005-11-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

I finished the scarf a few days ago but haven't had the chance to post the photos. I don't have a modeled shot, but perhaps soon I can wear my new scarf with my new winter coat. I actually love the way the scarf looks on, as the points of the diamonds look really nice around my neck, its such an interesting detail.

And then because I'm feeling cheesy...

It looks like I'll have a lot more time on my hands for the next two weeks. I'm thinking about my next project, even though I still have the blankie shawl on the needles and the baby blanket that I need to finish up by December. But I'd like to make another scarf, because I love them, or try to make my first sweater. Maybe today when I'm feeling less hung over I'll go to a yarn shop. But, that means money, which I should try to conserve, no? We'll see. Maybe its time for some tough love. Maybe I should just finish the pieces I have started before moving on to something new.

How do you decide what to work on?

Tweedy Crafty Skirty

2005-10-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

Yay! I made something today!

I pulled something in my neck a day or so ago, and therefore am taking off from the gym, but I was feeling pretty lazy today so I decided to make a skirt. I bought this amazing orange tweedy wool fabric from Mood a while ago and never did anything with it. I fully intended to make a skirt one day with it, and as the fates had it, today was the day. The pattern is my own, made during my patternmaking class at Make. Sorry for the non-linkage, but I'm using Mike's Mac, and Safari and Blogger don't play so well together. Any ideas for making this easier?

There she is, resting on my bed. Isn't she a doll? She's got front and back darts, an invisible side zipper (I'm still perfecting the art of the top of the zipper, so any suggestions here are most welcome) and is a true A-line.

I did this awesome thing with the waistband that I'm super proud of. I took the idea from a dress I made from a different class at Make. I put bias tape on the right side of the skirt, and then turned it inward and secured it to the inside of the skirt to form a stable waist.

And now the portrait shots. Mike is out today so its me and the mirror. Um, both big mirrors chez moi are filthy, so I am sorry for the grime. The skirt is clean, I assure you. I even ironed it, and if you know anything about me, you know that is a huge deal.

This is my glamour shot, designed to make it look like I actually have hips that are a different width from my waist.

Hip hip hooray for my lovely skirt! I can't wait to wear her out!

Sexy Hair

2005-10-28T10:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I got the sexiest haircut ever. I went to a new salon, reco'd by my friend Julie, and this gal was just amazing. First of all, she was supercute. I love when hair girls are supercute, as it makes me feel like I, by mere proximity, can become supercute too. Secondly, she was attentive and did exactly what I wanted. I even asked her what she would do if I gave her carte blanche, and she said she would do the same thing, as she wants to grow out some of my layers and give me length overall. Just what I wanted, by the way.

You may never see it straight like this ever again. I haven't had it straight in a number of years. Three, probably. Last night, Mike walked right by me at the bar. He didn't even recognize me! How cool is that. Mind you, this photo is after a night of boozing, and sleeping on it. And you can't tell (I hope) but I'm still just in my bra. No shirt yet for me! But what's the deal with my nose? Its looking rather bumpy and icky in this pic, but the hair looks fabu, so I'll let it slide.

Gotta run for a lunch date. But enjoy the hair! And pray for a return to knitting content soon!

Holy Crap

2005-10-27T13:15:00.000-04:00

Oh, Internets. What's going on with my life?

I filed a formal complaint against my boss for her physical attack. I realized that I couldn't just let it slide and that an apology would be useless, as I am so afraid of what she might do next. So, formal complaint it is. And now I'm on a paid leave of absence while an Investigation takes place.

This is seriously weird. I haven't been to work all week. And I'm totally in limbo, though I realize that in all likelihood, I will not be returning to my job unless they fire the President. Unlikely, for sure.

I'm taking care of errands. i returned one of the three winter coats I bought. I went to the library. I visited a friend's new apartment. I paid some bills. I made a trip to the mailbox. I've gone to the gym. I've even showered. And today I'm getting a haircut. But it still feels so weird. I know I'm doing the right thing by standing up for myself but I partly feel like I'm making a big deal out of this. But, I do think that feeling comes directly from how my boss has browbeaten me in the past, making me feel like an idiot for sitting in the wrong chair. Its like she's brainwashed me into feeling like a complete moron with no smarts and no voice. And I know for sure that ain't me. So booya Madame President. Screw you for putting your hands on me. I doubt you'll learn a lesson, but I'll be damned if I don't try to teach you one.

Big Wool Hat

2005-10-22T14:53:00.000-04:00

I made a hat today. Actually, I made a hat today, twice. I usually wind up making hats twice.

I love it. But of course, there's a back story. I made this hat before (so I guess that means I've made this hat 3 times). It was the very first hat I ever made, way back when I learned to knit in around 2002. It was made out of a coral-orangey color Rowan Big Wool and I was so excited. So very very very excited. I wore this hat for three winters, loving its warmth and plush-ness and everything about it. But, it was a llittle big. And this was before I knew that you could fudge patterns to make them how you want them.

But here's the bad news. I lost the hat. Last winter, while I was taking the M21 from my office to Make workshop for a sewing class, it must have fallen out of my pocket on the bus. I had been carrying a ton of stuff - my regular handbag, a bag with my sewing class stuff, a bag of stuff to stay at Mike's for the night (this was before move-in #2) and a roll of patternmaking paper. After walking from my office to the bus stop, I was so hot that I took the hat off and jammed it into my coat pocket. I arrived at Make only to realize that my hat was no longer in the pocket. It was a sad, sad day.

But that brings us to today. I didn't lose any time hatless last winter and I was determined not to do so this winter. Sure, I have other hats, but I loved this pattern and loved that hat.

Its "Madge" from Rowan's Bigger Picture. The color is shade 25, a very eggplant looking purple. Of course, it will match the scarf that I just can't seem to finish. I did some mods - The pattern calls for a garter stitch border before going into the seed stitch for the crown, but I wanted all seed stitch, all the time. I took out two rows to account for the slightly smaller size I was looking for from the last hat, and I made the hat. This is what I came out with:

It was big. So big that it covered my eyebrows. So big that it was dragging at my neck. And what did I do? Instead of being sensible and just ripping back to before the shaping and removing a few rows, I ripped back the whole darned thing. And started totally over. I think I have a fear of picking up stitches. And then I removed three more rows, for about an inch lost in length from the first run, and probably about an inch and a half from the pattern itself. And I think its perfect.

Mike thinks so too. He said, "It looks like a raspberry. I kind of want to eat it". Success!

Chester Copperpot

2005-10-21T11:54:00.000-04:00

I have spent the day so far searching for and applying to jobs. I have had enough. Seriously. Fuck this place, and fuck the boss. Crazy fucking bitch.

Yesterday, at a work function, my boss, the president of this esteemed organization, put her hands on my neck and shoulders and shook a little. Aggressively. And then laughed it off.

I was stunned, to say the least. I just looked at her, looked at a coworker who was standing with us, looked back to her, and walked away. What I should have done was walk out, never to return. Or, at least, said quite loudly, "Take your hands off me. That is inappropriate." And then walked out. But no. I just walked around the corner to another hallway and collected myself, and then rejoined the meeting. This all occurred because I asked her where she would like me to sit for the meeting. Because, yes, I have to ask permission from my boss about which seat to take during a meeting. Because yes, she is totally fucking off her rocker.

The really shitty part about this is that she has already fired all of the HR staff, so there isn't anyone I can talk to about it except for her. There aren't any other senior staff members that I can talk to either, because they run their own programs and have very little to do with the core work that the President's office runs and are therefore useless. I can grin and bear it, or I can walk away.

I am ready to walk away. This is just ridiculous.

And hence, Chester Copperpot. If only I had that treasure map and could pay for my rent and health insurance without this crazy animal of a boss riding down my neck. I think I'll start calling in sick every day until I find a new job. This is just ridiculous.

Not a Good Sign?

2005-10-20T15:27:00.000-04:00

My interview with the high-salary place was a week ago last Friday. So, two weeks tomorrow. A week ago Monday I sent in the requested references and writing samples. Yesterday I called the woman to follow up (left a VM. hate that!). And nothing. Is that or is that not a bad sign? I think its a not-so-good sign. I think that if she was totally gaga over me, she would have gotten back to me in response to my materials, or at least, you know, ever. And now I wait. Or do I wait? Of course I wait. But I guess what I thinking about is, do I wait with anticipation or hope for an offer? Or do I just put it out of my mind and know that I did all that I could, following all the right steps, etc.?

I don't know if I want the job. And I'm not just saying that becuase I don't think I'm going to get it. If she called me right now and said she's got a great offer for me, I don't know what I would do. I have so much freedom here, and so many liberties with regards to time, wardrobe, attitude, etc. There's no real incentive to switch places other than the fact that my boss is a power-hungry megalomaniacal psychopathic narcissistic depressive with abandonnment issues. But I know that and I can try to limit my interaction with her as best I can. Oy. Oy vey is what I have to say today.

Knit one more diamond on the scarfy scarf. Sloooooooooow. But I think I would like to try to finish this weekend. Just because. And I'm going to make myself a coordinating hat this weekend, too. I think I'll pick up the yarn tonight on my way to the bar after work. Yay! Bar after work!

2005-10-19T09:02:00.000-04:00

The knitting on this scarf isn't going as quickly as I had hoped. I figured I would be totally done by this weekend that just passed, but no dice. I am about 8 diamonds into it, and not quite finished with the first skein of Kersti. But I like it. Its fun. I just find it hard to work two repeats in a row because the counting is a little tedious and I'm sorta dumb with numbers.

Here is another photo if you just can't handle that one.

And I think I decided what sweater I want to make, as my first real sweater project. Its from the Winter 2004 IK, and its the Mohair Cowl Pullover. It seems kinda cool, and an easy thing to do. From there I want to try a top-down raglan with an open neck. But I fear I am getting ahead of myself.

The cool thing I wanted to share is this:

They are handknit, from Turkey. A woman I work with is from Turkey, and goes each summer to do archaeology stuff. Last week she learned that I knit, and told me about these old women in her hometown who sit there in the streets and knit these slippers, and how they chat away and knit without looking at their work and make these beautiful things. Then, yesterday when we were on our way to a site visit, she presented me with this pair of slippers. Aren't they amazing? I just love them. The fit is very snug, and so totally warm and comfortable. I thought they would be itchy, but they are so smooth on the inside. I put them on as soon as I got home from the gym and didn't take them off until it was time for bed. Sigh. Warm feet make me happy.

Here, you can sort of see the construction. It seems like its two rectangles that are assembled together to make the part around the foot itself and the part that goes around the heel. Both are attached to a footbed, and then the toe is folded into itself.

I also love how you can see my whiter than white legs in this photo. Go Pale!

Work It Out

2005-10-17T16:08:00.000-04:00

I'm too busy at work right now to hate my job. I guess that's some amount of relief, though it seems strange to me.

I had a great weekend. My Saturday class at the gym hurt so good, and I loved it. Yay for getting stronger! And on Sunday I had a great girl-day with my friend J. We saw In Her Shoes, which I thought was good (she thought it was slow) and then did a little shopping. I think J. is my shopping good-luck charm. I have a terrible time shopping, but whenever I'm with her, I always find way more than I can afford. Its a blessing and a curse, for sure.

Gotta get back to the grind... but maybe some photos of the scarf tomorrow. I'm about 7 diamonds in. So much for two a night - I knit two this weekend!

Curses

2005-10-14T09:46:00.000-04:00

It doesn't work:

Your search - "megann needs" - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.

Most of my life I went through much trauma from having a name nobody else had, or at the very least, nobody spelled it like I did. Sigh. No meme for me.

I called the cops last night. My neighborhood is sometimes the worst fucking ghetto you can imagine. Most of the time its great and I love it, but its often filled with people who flap their gums and argue in the street and blast their comforts into everyone else's personal space, usually after midnight. Like last night. I had fallen asleep. As in, I was already asleep. And what do I hear, that actually wakes me up? Music. LOUD MUSIC. From a car, parked in a spot, on the street outside my bedroom window. Now, normally the situation is some fucking asshole who double parks and talks to his friends while pumping shitty rap music at ninety million bazillion decibels. But this time, the dude was in. his. car. With the windows closed, because, you know, its raining. And his music Woke. Me. Up.

So, I turned my cell phone back on and called the 88th Precinct. The officer was very nice and said he'd send someone out to take a look. So, I turn my phone back off, get back into bed, seething, and lie there. Listening to this asshole's music. Mike had passed out long ago after a binge drinking session with a friend, so he barely stirred. And I was left, yet again, to stare at the fucking ceiling while everyone around me in the whole wide world sleeps. Is there no justice? Do I not work hard enough each day that I don't deserve to sleep? Do I have "wake me up every night" written on my forehead? Or rather, "just don't let me sleep, ever, so that I become the crankiest woman who ever lived"? Maybe that's more appropriate.

So, I, me, Megann with two n's, is the crankiest woman who ever lived. I have not slept a real night's sleep in about a week. And I hate everyone around me, I hate my job and now, I am just cranky enough that I even hate myself. So fuck you, world. And fuck you pillows. And fuck you, you filthy sonofabitch who woke me up last night. I hope you die a horrible painful death. Or at least get woken up yourself. Every night for the rest of your pathetic life.

Sigh. Progress.

2005-10-12T09:43:00.000-04:00

The spell, she is broken. I am using my fabu camera and taking pictures of lovely things that I am creating with my hands.

This is the scarf, and I love her already. I wound up getting some Koigu Kersti for her, as Purl no longer carries Noro yarns. Say wha'? I fell in love with some Alchemy with the same silk content as Silk Garden but it was about $18 per skein and I was so not down with that. So, Kersti it was. And I am pretty darned happy with it. The colors are beautiful. I think they photo'd pretty well, with the beautiful purples and browns and such. And the pattern is so much fun to knit! The two diamonds took no time at all, and its very easy to follow. According to the pattern, 18 repeats make an extra long scarf (and we all know how I love love love extra long scarves). With 16 left, I figure a minimum of two a night would take me 8 days, right? With the weekend coming up I could definitely finish it this weekend. Yay for new scarves!

On to the next. This is the baby blanket from SNB, the first book, for Mike's soon-to-be nephew.

I am at the point where I will reverse the knit and purl panels for the second half of the blanket. I just haven't done it yet.

And this, my dear readers, is the famous blankie-shawl. She is knit in Knit Picks Elegance, and she is so freaking soft I just want to eat her. Or at least fondle her all the time.

As you can tell, she is too big to spread out over the needles, so you are seeing the center spine of the shawl. At the bottom is the neck side. The pattern calls for 17 inches, but I think I'm going to go longer so that it covers more. I'm in the 3rd skein of yarn and I bought 7, so I may have a ways to go on this one. It gets boring, as its all knit in garter stitch. But its so soft that I can overlook its.

On a professional note, I am thisclose to being ready to submit my MPA application. Just a few more tweaks on my essay and its good to go. I found out that rolling admissions are a good thing, even though they are spaced out over several meetings. So, they say about 5 weeks from submissions is a good time to hear. If I get it in this week (which I def. will) then I should hear before Thanksgiving. Which is good.

And I'm done.

Its Officially Colder

2005-10-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

I am wearing boots today. This is a big deal. Not just closed-toe shoes, but actual boots, that zip up the side. Serious non-summer shoes. I always find it hard to make the transition. I love going almost barefoot when I can, and I just love wearing flip flops and sandals. Which is strange when you think about it because I always have cold feet, no matter what I'm wearing. One would think that with constant cold feet, I'd be a little wary of bare shoes. But no.

I love these boots, too. I just brought them to the cobbler last week to get them re-heeled in time for the new season, and I'm glad. I just love them. If I would only remember to use my darned camera, I could take a photo of them and share with the group. They are lovely, truly.

No knitting progress last night, as the love-of-my-life and I took it easy on the couch, with some much-needed snuggling tossed in for good measure. Gosh is he cute. And a good snuggler. This morning I had my annual visit to the gyno, and all is well. Whew. Not that I thought it wouldn't be, but I always like hearing that I am healthy. Its nice. Since I can't really take a lunch break today, as I only got into the office at noon, I will be going to Purl after work to pick out my Noro for the Edgar scarf in this issue of Knitty. I'm thinking Silk Garden, as I have never worked with it before, and the hat I made out of Kureyon was a little too scratchy for my taste. I hope that the silk content will smooth out the fiber and scratchiness. And, to my credit, I even checked for needles this morning so that I know I can start the project immediately. It turns out that I have to sets of size 8s, one a 16" circ that I'm currently using for the unfinished legwarmers, and the other 8s are long circs (32"?) that I"m using for the blankie shawl. Since I like to knit scarves on straights, I'll treat myself to a short pair of straight 8s.

And since I'm now dreaming of warmth (the A/C is still on in my dumb office - can these jerks get anything right at all ever?), I leave you with an older photo, from our LA trip this summer.

Ah, sunshine with my sweetie.

Ramblings

2005-10-10T12:23:00.000-04:00

Pictures soon, I promise. I've just been lazy. But not so lazy as to have not made any progress on the blanket! G-d bless laundry day.

I made it to the pattern reverse mark, which means that I am 50% complete. It has been pretty easy going, and I'm sure that I will have it done in time to deliver it in December. Plenty of time. But now I'm growing bored with it, and I really want to make something small. This is my third large project in a row. First the shawl, then the blankie-shawl (in progress, I know, I know) and then the actual blankie. I would like to make a scarf. Or a quickie hat. I recently acquired the Scarf Style book, and like Ruffles and one of the crochet patterns (and I actually have the yarn for it already, which makes it an excellent candidate). I also like this scarf from the recent Knitty.

Thanks for the sock recommendations. I think I'll take what I've learned from my comments (thank you!) and from asking around and put it all together in an actual store and see what I wind up with. I hear that many love love love Nancy Bush, so that might also be a good place to start.

On another note, wish me luck with this job thingy. I think my interview on Friday went really well, and today I'm sending the requested references and writing samples. I hope that this works out, as it would be pretty cool. However, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as it would be terribly upsetting to crash with the realization that I have to stay where I am for a while longer. But, at least I got my raise. I guess the lesson here is to be thankful for what you have. And I am.

Guilt

2005-10-06T09:30:00.000-04:00

After feeling incredibly guilty about my list yesteray of unfinished items, I worked on the baby blanket last night. It was the first time I knit while watching TV. Typically, I have to look at the stitches, but last night I was in the zone, so to speak, and the rows just flew by. Perhaps it was the crappy Lifetime movie I watched that made it easier to focus less on both. Perhaps.

Regardless, I have about 3 more inches to go on the blanket before I have to reverse the pattern.

And I think I would like to try to knit socks. Does anyone (if anyone reads this) have any suggestions about good patterns to start with? I know I don't need any more projects gumming up the works right now, but I think Im' ready for the sock challenge/bliss that I've been reading about on various blogs.

Job update: I got the raise I wanted yesterday. In true Prezzy fashion, I was called into her office at 4:15 yesterday afternoon, unannounced, for my "review" which was really nothing more than a salary review with the back office budget lady there as well. It made me uncomfortable, which is normal as Prezzy inspires that kind of dread, both to have it sprung on me like that and to not even have a private conversation about it. Not to mention not even having a moment to prepare myself or collect my thoughts, save for the time it took to walk from my cube to her office. But, I got what I wanted. It turns out to be a 15% raise, and she made a big point of telling me that normal raises here are 3%. When you make as little as I make, though, 15% doesn't seem all that much in actual dollars. However, it will be the push I need to feel more comfortable about my finances and getting rid of that last bit of credit card debt in under one year, if I commit the total raise to the card.

But, this does raise some issues for me. I have an interview with another organization tomorrow. For a job that is a step up for me, a challenge, and sounds pretty interesting. I know I don't have an offer yet and that I haven't even been on the interview, but already I'm weighing my options. Is staying here worth it now that I feel like I have enough money to live on? Or am I still going to feel the same dread coming here, knowing that I have little room for advancement or opportunity? Is it better to just get out? Or to give it another chance with the new salary? I have the known-vs.-unknown syndrome going on here. I know that Prezzy is totally nutso and that's not going to change, but I do have a system here that helps me deal with it. At someplace different, there's no guarantee that things will be different, though in my humble opinion, they sure can't get worse. Any ideas here?

I think at the very least, getting the raise will help me feel more confident at the interview tomorrow, because I will know that I have something decent to come back to if it doesn't work out.

Oh life. How you challenge me. Keep it coming.

I Will Be A Better Blogger, and I Will Stop Eating Candy Corn Before 10 AM

2005-10-05T09:47:00.000-04:00

I joined a blog ring today. Jess suggested a NYC knitters ring and I decided, hey, why not. I would like to meet knitters, as none of my friends do it, and it would be fun to knit with others. And, I would like to be a better blogger - I see this is a big push to blog more regularly. And if I'm knitting more regularly, then I will have more to blog about.

Updates (the list is rather depressing, as nothing is finished):

Baby blanket - still where I left it, though I have a December deadline for the delivery
Blankie Shawl - into third skein, and will assess how much more I want to do after that is finished
Legwarmers - these are from last winter, and I think I'm going to rip them out and use the yarn for something else. I'm just not into them anymore, though I still think they'd be useful as I have big plans for making winter skirts
Dress - still not finished, though I know it is ready to go

I still want to make a sweater and I'm thinking long and hard about what I want to do. I recently frogged an in-the-round poncho that I never wore and now have 13 balls of Sunshine. I think they would work into something very nice...

I'm still having the same retarded issues with my retarded job. Except now, my one treasured colleague, who regularly takes a bigger and meaner beating than I, told me that she is leaving. Well, she's looking to leave. She can't stand it any more, which I agree with. I don't know how she does it. And she has amazing connections and has already been putting her good networking skills to use. I give her another week before she finds her dream position. But, once she's gone, there is no buffer between me and the big bad evil gross nasty manipulative abusive Prezzy. I may as well hand in my resignation when she does. Things will only get worse for me.

But where do I go? What do I do? Do I stay in the nonprofit world and hate the next job I take? Or do I try and make a real effort to try something different, something in the private sector? I am just so stumped here. So stumped. Anyone know a career counselor?

New Patterns

2005-09-27T16:14:00.000-04:00

Its not like I have a list a mile long of things I want to make or anything...

Burda released their Fall/Winter patterns recently and these caught my attention. I am 99.9% sure that I'll be purchasing them before the week is out.

The skirt, which looks kinda skanky on the model but won't be on me:

The dress, which is so freaking cute as a tunic or as a dress:

I recently separated the top and bottom pieces of the dress I'm currently making and I hope to have that near completion this weekkend. Of course, it is now no longer the season for such a dress but I hope I can push it another week or so. I can always wear it next year, I guess.

I'm on the third skein of the blankie-shawl, which I hope to finish soon. I may take a break from it to work on Mike's sister's baby blanket, as I decided I would like to give that to her over the holiday season instead of mailing it when she gives birth to the little nugget.

And there's so much else I want to make! I need more time...

I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah

2005-09-22T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm still here. Just boring.

I left town on Thursday the 15th and got back on Monday. The last few day's I've spent catching up on work, life, and the gym. Its amazing how even the most dedicated and well-meaning exerciser I am at home, I lose all sense of inclination to sweat while on the road. Mike and I brought running stuff with us to visit with his family, and not one of the days did we even think about putting on our sneaks. Well, maybe once I did, after eating two dinners one night, but it was a brief thought and I went to bed soon after. Then I felt lumpy and lazy, so I made up for it on Tuesday and yesterday.

Boxing. I took a boxing class at my gym. It kicked my arse, I tell you what. Try doing our opening number: jump rope for 2 minutes straight. Then take a 60-second break, and do it again. Then do it again. So, for those thought-challenged out there, that's a total of 6 minutes of jumping rope. Uh, its really hard. Really really hard. Even for someone like me that works out all the time and is in fairly good shape. I thought I was gonna fall down, and not because my feet kept getting tangle in the rope. For the record, jumping rope was a helluva lot easier when I was 9 than it is now.

Two Posts In A Day?

2005-09-14T15:32:00.000-04:00

I am totally going to try my hand at this. I think I can make a really super cool one.

I'm B-B-Buggin'

2005-09-14T10:20:00.000-04:00

Its happening again. The damn heebie-jeebies have got me in their claws and I'm freaking. Totally freaking.

First, the good news. This past weekend, I progressed 4 pattern repeats on the blankie-shawl. That's good, as I feared it might never grow. As in, I might never finish it. I do see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now, the not so good news. Much of which may sound like a repeat from a few months ago. And since I just love lists:

I hate my job. It is a thankless place where I am underused and undervalued. I have zero prospects for moving ahead or gaining new skills, as the ruler-with-an-iron-fist prevents true learning and advancement from taking place.
I feel stuck in my job, as I don't have any skills to move forward since I don't do anything here.
I am destined to be poor poor poor. And even if I do find another job, I am forever going to be stuck in the same dumb earning bracket as I have been in for the last few years. I just don't see a way to get ahead. Which leads me to...
I am so struggling with money right now. I spend too much and make too little. I know that the anser to that is definitely spend less, but I seem to be having mucho trouble with that. I think I am going to stick to a cash-only allowance once a week, and use that for everything. That means not only am I still leaving my credit cards at home, but I will no longer use my debit card. Cash only means cash only. As in the dolla bills I have in my wallet only. I figure I can try this allowance-based system for two months (my therapist's suggestion) and see how it goes.
I am supposedly due for a raise in October but I can't even count on that because its too risky. And I hate worrying about money. And I feel terrible because I'll be forever holding Mike back with my dumb salary. Its a terrible feeling to want to be an equal partner but unable to do so. However, the median income for a 4-person family in New York is $69,354. If you divide that by two earners, that's $34,677 each. I make more than that, so something should be working out for me. I shouldn't be in as much trouble as I am. And its not that I'm in trouble, really, its just that I thought I would be in a much better place by now. And now that I see that I'm not, it makes me so anxious about ever getting to that place.

And I'm stuck. I am working on my application for grad school, again. I have decided on a Master's in Public Affairs, part-time, at a CUNY. I know I could do this and I know it could help me get ahead, but its also so disheartening. I feel so dumb. I feel so behind the curve. I feel so inadequate. Why do I up-and-down like this? Why do I seek self-value as reflected in others? Particularly this job. So, I have a job that isn't that interesting or exciting. Why do I let that indicate my self-worth? Why not feel excited that I can work on my essay while here and feel engaged in that way? Its hard to feel good about the trade-off. And I think its harder still because of how my last job ended. I was fired. Let go, as people instructed me to say. To go from that hurt and disappointment to this place where nothing I do has any meaning or value, well, its hard. It reinforces the worthlessness. You dig?

Sigh.

I guess its back to my essay.

Its Official. I'm 27.

2005-09-06T08:55:00.000-04:00

Before I work up the energy to post about my fabu birthday party, I leave you with a photo of me and my sweetie at said party. Aw. Aren't we so cute?

The weekend highlights for now, just in case I never work up that energy:

Mike made a yummy carrot cake. He also took me for a delicious birthday dinner. Ah, Peruvian food. How do I love thee?
I arm wrestled, with pictures to prove it. But I did not win.
I fell out of a plastic chair and bruised my elbow. I'll live.
My nephew refused to sing me the birthday song, but he did repeat over and over, "Happy Birthday Muggie".
We saw a guy get attacked on the subway, including cops with guns drawn and all the accompanying drama.

I'm sure there's more but see, the energy thing is just getting in the way.

Happy Birthday to me.

Finally, Some Sewing

2005-09-04T16:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I did some sewing. I found a tutorial for a lined, zippered pouch on Craftster, and it was so super fun to make. Here is my pouch:

You may recognize the material from my as-yet-unfinished dress. Its beautiful. I lined it with some leftover coordinating material from my first skirt:

Don't you love my spindly fingers? Here it is filled with lotsa stuff:

For the record, we have in there a few packets of Advil that I stole from the supply closet at work, two different kinds of eye drops, some dental floss, my face powder, my Benadryl cream for those pesky hives I keep getting, and four different lip glosses and/or balms, including the best lipgloss ever:

Maybe I should consider paring down to one or two. Interesting idea.

The pouch features a 7" zipper, so its not that big. But its so cute. I think I shall start to make them and give them to people who I know would love them. It was really so easy to make, aside from the pesky zipper application, but now that I know the pitfalls there, the next one should be much easier. Invisible zippers are WAY better than regular zips. So, I just need to get some zips and I'll be in business! I'd like to make a few for my mom and sis for when I see them in a week or two. Don't you likey?

Is This The Shoe Blog?

2005-09-02T09:36:00.000-04:00

I bought a pair of shoes yesterday. It was torturous, really. Normally shoe-buying is my most favoritest thing to do, but I've been trying to be better about how I spend my cash (no more credit, thankyouverymuch) and thus felt an enormous amount of guilt. For these:

Now, ain't they purdy? I found the picture on Zappos.com, which listed them for $63.99. I paid $39.90, with no tax, at the fabu DSW in Union Square. Now that's a deal. And that's part of why I got them:

Its tax-free week. Saving 8% is right up my alley. Fuck the man, you know?
They can be worn to work with slacks or a nice skirt, and they are also sexy enough that I can wear them with jeans and a hot top for nights out.
Uh, they are red patent leather. Isn't that reason enough?
They are so affordable, even with cash. Just shy of forty bucks, can't beat it.

I'm really not sure why I wavered so much. I have a little money coming in right now and even though its earmarked, its still available to me. I just sold my old (new) bed, and I still have my last check from the store that I haven't deposited yet. Between the two, I could buy ten and a half pairs of these shoes. That's more than enough to cover the one pair, you know? I think its that I'm trying to be good. But I also don't like when I see something I love and don't get it out of guilt and then think about it forever and ever after. Does that happen to anyone else? I knew that if I didn't get these, I would be thinking about them every day I got dressed in the morning wondering how great the pretty pretty inexpensive shoes would look with such-and-such outfit. Sigh. Its so hard to be a girl who doesn't make that much money but has wildly exciting fashion tastes.

And, its almost my birthday. Each year I like to get myself a present. Last year it was my favorite bag from LeSportSac and this year, it shall be the shoes.

And so it is settled.

In Other News

2005-08-30T15:54:00.000-04:00

I have not crafted in some time. Well, that's not true. What's true is that I have made virtually no craft progress.

On Sunday, while taking the LIRR home to visit my family, I knit one 4-row pattern repeat on the blanket-shawl. That thing is gonna take me forever, but I'm proud to say that I finished the first skein of Elegance and am ready to add the next one, provided that I continue to knit it. The original pattern calls for 350 yards, which would be about three skeins, but I am using one size smaller needles and I want to make it bigger. That's why I bought 7 skeins. But the thought of getting through two more, much less 6 more, is making me tired. Just plain tired.

I still have to put the dumb zipper in on the dress. Uh, pretty soon it'll be too freaking cold to even wear the dress. And, I don't think its gonna fit me, so I'm kinda not interested anymore. I think its going to be too tight on the waist, but I'm too lazy to rip out the bodice to skirt seams, and then the side seams of the bodice to open them a little, which is what I should do instead of hoping against hope that I can zip it up if I just shorten the seam allowance at the zipper. Oy. What if I just opened the sewn seams at the parts where I need to access the sides? That might work, but I would also need to re-attach it to the skirt... hmm... nope, that wouldn't do. That settles it. Tonight, I rip out the seams and give myself room to breathe. Literally.

I dyed my hair. Rather, my mother dyed by hair when I went home on Sunday. It was kind of the point. I used Preference, in a shade called Intense Red. Its darker than I expected it to be, and I'm not sure if it'll lighten up. But I do expect it to 'settle' in to a color that it isn't right now. I'm still getting used to it, let's just leave it at that. I shall ask Mike to take a photo tonight, if I remember, so that all of you (non)readers can take a looksie.

And I'm done.

Gimme a break...

2005-08-29T08:54:00.000-04:00

Um, does anyone remember when Teri Hatcher was totally freaking anorexic, after her stint as Lois Lane ended? Because I do. It was everywhere. She had total lollipop head syndrome, and was truly disgusting. And now this, a lovely quote from the MSN gossip pages:

Did recent snaps of Teri Hatcher's alarmingly pin-thin gams make you want to FedEx her a carb-packed care package? Save your stamps. The "Desperate Housewives" star is fuming over the whispers that continue to swirl around her fat-free frame. "To think that I would need to stop eating and be anorexic and sick to get a job is the wrong message to send to girls and women in our society, and that really bugs me," Teri rails to the London Mirror. "I am all about health and to me size is not what defines your health. It never crossed my mind that if I was thinner I would get more jobs."

Its retarded. She did exactly that not so many years ago. This is infuriating. If you are going to preach the benefits of a healthy diet and comfort with your size, then own up to your own disease. And if you truly want to be a role model for girls and women in our society, own up to your troubles and say that its possible to break free of those chains with hard work and determination. Don't go spitting lies at the public about how you are a model citizen who eats regularly.

Fatso

2005-08-24T12:55:00.000-04:00

The New York Times reported today that a new study identified nearly ONE QUARTER (24.5%) of Americans as obese. This is no janky study, either. Its data from the freaking CDC.

Is anyone as shocked as I am about this? Its ridiculous! One quarter of adults in this country. That is astounding. Not to mention the children who will grow up practically breeding heart disease, diabetes and joint replacements.

Ok, I know that I tend to be rather obsessive about my weight and my body. I even joke that its a wonder I'm not anorexic, given the history of my teenage years. Though, there are some who would argue that I'm constantly in limbo on that one.

But seriously.

GET OFF YOUR ASS.

What is the joy in living if you can't move your body? Are potato chips and soda so important to hapiness? Does it make you feel good when you get winded walking from your front door to your car in the driveway? Turn off the TV, shut your mouth and move your legs. Its really not that hard. You just have to TRY. Why wouldn't you want to? Why wouldn't you want to feel the strength of your body, to see your muscles working, to feel the energy you can create and control. I'm not saying that everyone needs to join a gym or get a nutritionist. Just get off the freaking couch. Walk around the block a few times after dinner. Stop drinking Coke. Put down the second piece of pie at your next party. Don't order dessert when you go out to eat. Show some freaking personal responsibility and take care of the body you were given. Do you think your mother went through however many hours of labor so that you could be slothful and destroy your body? Show some respect for yourself and your family and take care of yourself. This isn't about shame or wearing a size 2, this is about responsibility to be healthy. So many people lose their lives to unnatural or unpreventable circumstances. Why throw yours down the shitter when you don't have to?

I got my September issue of Allure last night and finished up an article this morning on the subway about little things that can ruin or make a sucessful eating plan. These things are so easy, so common sense oriented that I am amazed that people need to learn them. In the spirit of health (but not copyright infringement), I shall list them here:

Liquids have calories. That means soda, cream in your coffee, your milk-based latte, your margarita or beer after work, all of it.
Eat naturally to control your cravings. Studies show that people who use artifical sweeteners while trying to be 'good' wind up actually indulging more in other sweets.
Have a good attitude and set reasonable goals. And keep an eye on what you are putting in your mouth and what you are actually burning through activity.
Eat normal sized meals and seriously watch portion sizes. Restaurant servings are easily twice the normal portion. Don't clear you plate just because there is food on it.
Eat protein to feel fuller longer.
Get enough fiber, also to help you feel full and to ensure proper digestion. That means fruits and veggies, people. French fries and iceberg lettuce don't count.
You eat more when you're tired, but way more than required, and not out of need. Bottom line, make better choices, especially when you're sleepy or drunk.
Eat fruit. Lots of fruit. No excuses.
Exercising doesn't give you free license to eat whatever you want - you still need to balance calories in and calories out. A 30-minute run is not an excuse to eat a pint of ice cream.
Eating while working is bad. Take the 15 minutes and have an uninterrupted lunch, and look at what you're eating, not shoveling in whatever the office assistant is ordering that day. You deserve to take the time to feed your body responsibly.

There. My rant for today is done. No offense meant, seriously. Just take a look at your life and your choices and Do Something. Just try.

Bad Blogger, Bad!

2005-08-23T16:11:00.000-04:00

I still here. Not that I think anyone actually reads this (which is probably better, by the way), but I'm still here. Nothing to report on the crafty front.

I didn't really work much at all on the shawl. Which I realized last night is going to be huge and blanket-like, and less shawl-like. But its so freaking soft that I hardly care, as its not really punishment to wear it during the winter. Like a blankie. My soft purple blankie. Yah.

I had every intention of inserting the zipper into my dress last night, but then I watched the Six Feet Under finale (I missed it on Sunday) and was pretty much incapacitated. I don't even know what to say about it. I was bawling. And of course, looking/thinking/seeing death makes me think about my dad. And I went to sleep last night hoping that I would dream about him because I miss him. And I did, but it was a terrible dream. He was looking at me and I was really uncomfortable for some reason and my stomach broke out in hives in the shape of a butterfly. He kept asking me what was happening and I had to keep telling him that it was his fault, that it was his fault I had the terrible ugly hives because he was there and he shouldn't have been. Um, this is all in the dream in case any of you non-readers thought it was real. He's dead.

And going with the dead theme, my mom broached the subject of what to do with his ashes during our lunch date today. I am so not ready to think about that, even though its been 7 freaking years.

Um. I'm pretty tense today. I think I need to do a run instead of Pilates, you know? I need some tension relief. Seriously. I'm totally agitated.

Moving Along

2005-08-17T14:32:00.000-04:00

After getting my new yarn delivery yesterday, of course all I wanted to do was knit it up! But, the needles. I thought I had finally got to a point (ha ha, needles, point, ha) where I didn't need to buy a new set of needles for each new project. Now, that's true, to a certain extent. But I didn't have what I needed to start last night.

The pattern I'm using calls for 10.5s, but I wasn't convinced that was the right size for the substitute yarn I got. I swatched with 7s and it was a little too many stitches per inch for my taste (and the gauge, which for this shawl, I imagine is flexible). But my 8s are being used in Mike's sister's baby blanket (no, no progress whatsoever beyond the first hank of yarn but I do have until February) and I didn't want to remove them as that's a whole lotta stitches to put on a holder. So I couldn't do anything. Nothing. And it is so soft and pretty and I wanted to continue my swatch just so I could use it... but I stopped myself and put it aside. Today at lunch I went to Purl and got size 9 Addis and I'll be moving forward with those tonight. I am so excited to make this shawl.

Today was also a good day for my eyes. My eye doc, g-d bless him, said that everything should resolve itself and that my main problem right now is just dryness. So, its drops of special lube 4 x daily for 4 weeks and another checkup. And my pressue is back to normal after stopping the eye 'roids, so no glaucoma worries, either. Hip hip hooray!

Tomorrow I shall post some photos of my shawl progress with the pretty pretty purple loveliness.

Ahh. Yarn.

2005-08-16T12:37:00.000-04:00

Received my KnitPicks order today. Am so freaking excited.

I got 7 skeins of Elegance in Lilac and it is SO soft. SO soft. I am at work now, and all I want to do is wind it around myself. But, I fear that may cause suspicion of me being crazy. I wish to keep my job, and as such I will wait until I get home to wrap myself in the yarn. I will make this, but in a larger version.

I also got 3 skeins of Shimmer in Grape Hyacinth. Also so freaking soft, which is probably obvious given that they are the same blend of alpaca and silk. Yum. Yummy yum yum yum. I will try to make Ene's Scarf from the Scarf Style book, also purchased through KnitPicks, with this yarn.

I am so excited that I just want to go home and start, now. No gym, no work, no 1 PM meeting, NOW!

I could see how it could happen...

2005-08-15T10:33:00.000-04:00

...but that doesn't mean I condone the behavior.

I saw a movie yesterday afternoon, Pretty Persuasion. It was great, a witty satire that was over-the-top offensive and disturbing, yet amusing at the same time. Go see it. Without giving too much away, there's one scene when two young-ish male teachers are talking about two 15-year-old female students, and how they think that the girls know about their sexual power over men, even at that age. What is unsaid is that the male teachers experience some sort of desire for the girls, even though they know its wrong and won't cross that line. Go see the movie, and then you'll understand this post.

Last night, I dreamt about my old high school English teacher. I had him freshman year, and developed quite a bond with him. He was never my teacher again after that, but was the advisor on the yearbook staff when I was on it senior year (dork, I know). The point of revealing this is that we became friends. Or, as friends as a teenager in HS can be with a teacher in his late 20s-early 30s. I think my parents were disturbed that he took such an interest in me, but at the time, I didn't see anything wrong with it. My friend A and I would sometimes hang out with him, as HS wore down and the summer before college began. And I would see him sometimes over the summers as I grew older. I knew some of his friends, it was all very normal, you see? Except for the fact that he was my teacher and I was his student and he met me when I was 14 and he was probably 28 or so. Thinking back on it now, it is strange.

Nothing inappropriate ever took place, though there was some mild and harmless flirting. I admit that I was attracted to him in a teenage-crush sort of way. He was quite handsome and was way smarter (obviously) than the boys my age. He was there as a support for me when my dad first got sick and really helped me begin to feel comfortable with what life threw at me. But where do you draw the line? Yes, it was probably wrong of him to include me and A in his life outside school. Yes, it was pretty shady that we knew his friends and had been to his house, regardless of the fact that it occurred after we graduated. He was in a position of authority and should have drawn a line. But in a way, being his age now, he probably didn't really think it through. At this age, you are old enough to know what's wrong, but also old enough to trust yourself. But where, then, is the boundary? If you think you can handle it, you automatically let walls drop that should remain intact. Or do you?

I know that a few years ago he had a child with his wife, whom I also met. Heck, they may even be on to number two. Every now and then I think about him, and the movie made me think even more. I don't think he did anything wrong, but maybe that's only because nothing happened. I guess what I'm saying is that I can see how it could happen. I can see that if you were him with a great sense of humour and sense of self, and I was me at that time with a big fat crush and no fewer than a million emotional difficulties, I could see how it could happen. I don't think its right, but in a way is it fully wrong?

Gosh, I love movies that make you think.

Preparation Sucks

2005-08-11T12:50:00.000-04:00

I finally did something crafty last night. Finally. I cut those damned dress pieces. Now, I love sewing. LOVE sewing. But I really dislike prepping to sew. I am fine with lining up seams and pinning and prepping and pressing, etc, but I truly hate cutting fabric. I'm good at it, so its not that I hate it because I suck, I just hate the time it takes and the pressure to do it right and all that.

I know I've spoken of it before, but here is what I am making, the dress itself:

This is my kitchen (read: sewing) table with most of the dress pieces cut, but still pinned, as I have no idea where my chalk is:

In case you can't tell what the fabric looks like, this is it. Its a stretch cotton and just beautiful:

And this is me, all sweaty after cutting on the kitchen floor and table for an hour, post-gym. Don't I look fabulous? A truly honest self-portrait. Note the sweaty forehead, and the look of almost heady relief at being mostly done cutting.

What's next? I need chalk so that I can transfer the guides for the darts, etc. I also need to cut some fusible interfacing for the bodice pieces. They also say to do it for the skirt, but I think that fabric is sturdy enough to bypass it for the skirt. Any suggestions here? I also think that when I head down to my store to get the chalk, I will purchase a pattern for a summer top. I don't know if I'm ready to take the plunge into the dress without first trying to do a top. I know its all the same sewing, but I'm just curious. Something small to complete first may give me some courage and confidence.

Corduroy Jacket? Are you NUTS?

2005-08-10T13:13:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I am. Totally, certifiably bonkers. I bought a corduroy blazer today during my lunchtime break. In my defense (don't I ALWAYS have a defense?!), it is generally hard (read: impossible) to find things that fit me right. Especially since most stores tend to sell out of the tiny sizes first. So, when my walk today brought me to Old Navy and its sweet sweet air conditioning, I couldn't help myself. They had 1 size XS, and I got it:

What else could I do? What choice did I have? Its so cute. Its so interesting. And I must say, blazers are kind of my thing. I wear them all the time and I love them. So, I did it. And I love it. No excuses. Especially since I knew that if I didn't get it at that moment, I would never see it in my size again.

On other topics, I haven't been knitting much this week or last. I've stalled on my second OSW, as I think its going to be too big and I don't have enough yarn to finish it with the modifications I want. I've been playing with a shopping cart at KnitPicks, so we'll see what that brings. Does anyone just love Shimmer or Elegance? I have shawls in mind for both of them. I think I should just get them and quit talking about it. I'd like to use the Elegance for this, but larger. I would make the center back length closer to 30" or so. I'm finally breaking down and buying Scarf Style, and would use the Shimmer for one of the shawls in there.

In sewing news, I'm ready to do more now that I have my time back. I'd like to cut the pieces for this dumb dress that I've been yammering on about and use the green fabric for one more skirt from the pattern I love so much. Then, I've got a big mental shopping list for corduroy for a-line skirts for fall and some new style tote bags. I better get cracking lest these ideas just stay in my head and rot!

Shoes. Sigh.

2005-08-05T14:54:00.000-04:00

I got a pair of flip flops yesterday after work. I think it was to make me feel better, which I don't like to do, but I also felt powerless to stop it.

I wear my ratty Teva flip flops to work every day. It is way too hot to deal with heels, and I figure that I don't give a crap if I don't have meetings, etc. But I should be wearing something a little more office apporpriate. Hence, these:

I really like them. And they are SO comfortable. I was hesitant at first because the sole is very thin, but it hasn't been a problem at all, and I've done a fair amount of walking today.

Yesterday was also much improved by sticking around the city after work and getting a drink with my honey. Its so great - just seeing his sweet sweet face after a hard day makes me melt. I walked into our bar and he was sitting there and smiling at me. He had the googly eyes and the beautiful smile and I swear a thousand pounds was lifted off of my shoulders just by looking at him looking at me with such love. Gosh I love that man. That, and after a few drinks the day seemed quite far away.

The Blahs

2005-08-04T15:13:00.000-04:00

I guess I have the blahs today. I just don't feel interested in anything right now. I haven't answered more than two phone calls today and refuse to answer any more. I really just want to crawl back into bed, but its hot and our A/C sucked ass last night.

I suppose I can update on the BBFE's sister's baby blanket. Its coming along quite nicely. The past few days I've taken it on the subway with me for commuting, and its been a great knit for the train. Its easy to do and just the right mix of mindless and interesting. Last night I realized that I'm thisclose to the end of the first skein, so I decided to do a few rows in the A/C of my bedroom. It didn't hurt that the BBFE was watching baseball for the 2nd night in a row. I freaking hate baseball. Sure, I can tolerate it when I have to, but a 3-game series? Forget it. I'm so done. Anyhow, since it looks the same only larger, I won't be posting another photo until I turn the half-way point and reverse the stockinete sections. That will make for great drama.

I'm also worried about having enough yarn for the Scarlet shrug. I think I will, but I'm not convinced I'll actually be able to finish both of the sleeves. That made me think about alternates - I could pick one of the common colors in a solid of the same gauge (Lambs Pride Bulky would probably work well) and make the sleeves and the ribbing out of that. That would certainly provide some visual interest. I'm also concerned about it being too big across the back, as I think I translated the gauge wrong during my cast on. But then, if I increase the ribbing section, I may be able to pull it tighter with some sort of fastener. Its worth a shot, as I am enoying the knitting.

Ok, so I feel less blah after talking about my creations. Oh - wait - nope. There it is. Blah still exists.

Moving On

2005-08-02T13:16:00.000-04:00

After all my whining and complianing about the OSW I made this weekend, what did I do last night? I cast on for another one, of course.

I have this amazing yarn that I love love love. I bought it first two winters ago in the orange/red color to make a hat, and loved it so much that I searched more than 3 yarn shops in the city to get more for a matching scarf. Which I started but never finished. It is so soft. It is so nice to the touch. It knits up beautifully. I had to adjust the pattern for the bigger gauge (about 3 stitches to the inch on size 11s), which seems to be working out fine.

I'll be doing long sleeves on this one, as I decided that I don't really like the no-sleeve thing on the other one. I'll probably just do "rectangle" sleeves with no shaping or tapering in an effort to get a gentle bell effect. I'll be leaving a rolled stockinette sleeve hem, but I still plan to do the 2x2 ribbing around the collar and back edge that the pattern calls for. Gosh, now I'm worried that I won't have enough yarn. I need to do approximately 7-8 more repeats of the main Row 3, Row 4 of the pattern, and I just finished my first 50g ball. Aside from the ball I just finished this morning (I knit a few rows before work!), I have at least 1 more unused ball and 3 in the unfinished scarf. Perhaps it'll be a 3/4 sleeve shrug...

Pictures to come tonight, as I am sure I'll make some big progress during the baseball game (Go Tribe!).

There's No Barley in my Chicken Barley Soup

2005-08-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

This weekend I made the infamous One Skein Wonder. I loved the pattern but I hated every second of making it. Really? Hated? Yes, I hated it. Not the pattern, mind you, but the yarn.

I had really high expectations for the yarn - its Lorna's Laces Dove, which is a wool-cotton blend. I have never used a cotton blend before, so I don't know if my troubles were due to that, or to the yarn itself. I actually quite hate working in cotton for knitting (I think, what's the freakin' point?). But I love love love the Shepard Sport I'm using for the baby blanket, and I have so much respect for the quality and beauty of that line of yarns. So I figured, I would try the Dove, as I didn't want to make the OSW out of all wool, as it is sort of a summery thing what with the no sleeves and all.

And so I began. As I was at the store while doing it, I do not have progress shots. But it woudln't have mattered... because the torture and pain inflicted on yours truly could not have been captured by a mere camera, even the super cool one the BBFE got me.

The yarn was sticky. Not in the honey/scotch tape/glue stick kind of way, but in the summer day and vinyl seats/velcro/socks on carpeting kind of way. The damn crapola yarn stuck to everything. And when I say everything, I mean it snagged on the couch. It got stuck on itself. It snagged on the tiny milimeter of stubble on my shaved-that-moring legs. It stuck to my fingers. It. Was. Terrible. This issue was made even worse by the fact that I was really super worried about my gauge, and I was trying to knit a little looser than normal to meet the 4 stitches per inch. But it was nearly impossible with the Dove (aka hellfiber) sticking to everything in sight! It contstantly pulled on everything near it. The only way to use this monkey-fucker of a yarn is to hold it in a vaccuum or make friends with Bubble Boy or something. I have never been so relieved to be done with something, and praise be to whoever that the OSW is so freaking small. I would have poked my eyes out with my needles if I had to use it for another second.

The thing that really gets me is how beatifully she turned out. The colors are gorgeous, and the fabric feels really cool. Gosh, I hate it and love it so much at the same time.

I am also considering some practicality issues as expressed by others who have made this pattern. Now that I have tried it on (no pic, as BBFE leaves the house before I do in the morning, when I took these photos), it seems sort of ridiculous. I mean, its just a shoulder sling. I would very much like to knit this out of wool and add some sleeves with a nice gentle bell shape. I think that would look gorgeous. And I would probably use it more often, as I wear my other sleeves-only shrug that I got at the store all the time. We'll see. I have some stash yarn that I'm thinking about using, though its pretty bulky. I'd have to readjust some gauge issues, and I have never done that before, though I think that I certainly could... wish me luck! And if you have any pointers on using thicker yarns for this, just let me know.

Musings

2005-07-29T11:13:00.000-04:00

This weekend is my last at the store. I am so glad for this, really. Its been a good run there. I learned that I am fairly good at sales, that I like helping people find things that look good on them, and that isolation in an 8 foot square for 14 hours over two days really helps the knitting along. I liked the introduction of Saturday night date-night with my honey. And, the adventure has paid for my other adventure, my great big fabulous amazing vacation.

But I sure am glad to be having my weeknds back. I miss lazy Saturday mornings with Mike, lounging on the couch watching old movies until one of us gets hungry for pancakes, which we then make. I miss lazy Saturday afternoons with Mike, lounging on the couch watching old movies until one of us gets hungry for lunch, which we then make. I miss going out on Friday and Saturday nights without the fear of I-Have-To-Go-To-Work-Tomorrow. I miss being able to see my family, especially my amazing nephew, who I can only see on weekends due to travel time. I miss just having plain old time to relax, to sit still in my own home and be present in my own life, rather than worrying about the rich girl who can't decide if she wants to buy the $98 halter top or the $108 tube top to go with the $128 skirt. There. That outfit costs more than I'll make in the weekend. I'm so done with that!

Dear Scrambled Eggs,
Please do not waste your time now that you have it back. On your weekends, please:

Make the dress. The pattern is cut, so just cut the fabric and sew it up. You'll be glad you did.
Make the blue top. You've been wanting it for so long. Use that amazing idea you had about the button loop closure for the low scoop back. It'll look so rad.
Make the One Skein Wonder, you've been aching to start it. Just do it, already. The yarn is perfect and you'll totally wear that shrug a million times a week. At least.
Keep taking pictures for the blog. People really like the pictures, and its nice to see results. On that note, finish some things, ok?
Enjoy life.

Sincerely,
Your conscience

What's The Benefit?

2005-07-28T12:39:00.000-04:00

I was startled and interested to read this article in today's New York Times. I have terrible skin that is actually doing pretty well right now, but I will ALWAYS consider my skin terrible. At my last visit to the dermatologist who put me on a topical regimen that actually seems to work, or at least hold the most gross parts at bay, he mentioned the same thing.

I was talking about how I'm 26 years old and I'm still having the skin trouble of a teenager. I'm also very sensitive about it and get embarassed so easily if someone points it out (which they never do) or if I notice something awry. After moaning and groaning about how this can't really be my fate, forever, he said this - Try asking yourself What's The Benefit? He went on to describe that oftentimes, patients, or people, hang on to things that they perceive to be bothersome simply because on some level they gain something from it. In my case, the situation would be that I psychosomatically produce my acne or keep it around or something, because of some other reason. Um, like I really want to feel freaking ugly all the time? Not so much. But then, when I started thinking about it, some things began to make sense.

Its easy to hide yourself behind a mask, if you will, much easier than showing a true face to the world. By "keeping" my acne, I could be doing several things. Maybe I am clinging to my youth, perhaps to the time before my father got sick and died when I still believed in life and protection and possibility. Maybe I am using it to hide behind, as in its easier to be confident when you think that noone is looking anyway because of your ugly face. Or maybe its easy to feel ugly so that you can blame shit on it or not have ot deal with being pretty and the social pressures that come with it.

If these are the benefits, is it worth it? If I let go of this shield, what's really going to happen? In all likelihood, I'll just feel better about myself. Or be less focused on the physical attributes of my face and more on what's going on inside my head. Though, I don't know how much more focused I can be in there without spontaneously combusting. But seriously. There is no benefit to emotionally clingling to acne. Its a manifestation of other, deeper ills. I don't need acne to miss my dad or to be at peace with the girl whose life ended after hearing the words, "Daddy has cancer." I don't need acne to hide behind instead of owning my true nature. I can be beautiful without qualifications or quantifications. Or whatever. Now I'm just getting soapbox-y.

Ain't That Sweet

2005-07-28T10:46:00.000-04:00

Today, I shall leave you with a picture of true love:

This is from Saturday, at my sister's 30th birthday party. Isn't my love so cute? He is truly the most amazing man, and I feel so lucky to be the one he loves.

Aw.

Almost Lazy Morning, Definitely Lazy Eye

2005-07-27T08:45:00.000-04:00

I'm at home this morning, as I wait until it is time to leave for my eye doctor appointment. There's always something wrong with me, you see? Its my left eye this time, the one I don't usually use. But I would still like to keep it. There's something, um, protruding from my eye. Its pretty inflamed and swollen, but in the great words of my great doctor, if it isn't oozing, you're probably in good shape.

In honor of my non-oozing eye, I'd like to present the first photos of my next project. Not the dress, though I did cut the pattern pieces for that two nights ago (just the pattern itself, not the fabric). Its a baby blanket for BBFE's sister, who is due in February. I'm using the pattern from the first Stitch N Bitch book. Its pretty repetitive but I'm finding it quite soothing and definitely engaging. I always loved seed stitch from the moment I learned to knit, and I like that its used as a border. I find myself excited about the switch of stockinette panels, though I am not there yet. Its good for working on in the store, as there's not much focusing you have to do on it and its easily picked up and put down.

I'm using the Lorna's Laces Shephard Sport that I initially got for a shawl. I knit up a few inches of the shawl with it and it was all wrong. That weekend we learned of the baby, and voila. I am still so in love with the colors. I hope they show up here well - its the Glenwood.

Blanket, far:

Blanket, corner:

Booger?

2005-07-26T14:09:00.000-04:00

Every time I type in the URL for Blogger, I always start writing "booger" before I catch myself and correct it to Blogger. So, this is my boog, or um, blog. Right-o.

I'm having a shoe dilemma. I have a lot of shoes. And I always want more. I'm good about buying them - I shop sales and Filene's Basement and other savvy resources, you know? But its still buying a lot of shoes, so even if they are less expensive shoes than they could be, they are still sucking money. The BBFE likes to joke (or not really joke if you ask him) that I need a new room for my shoes. In my defense, I wear almost all of them, depending on the season and how aggressive I am about heel repair (note to self - fix those dumb shoes already!).

I see so many sales these days and I am in love with these two pairs of shoes from Bandolino. I initially looked at their site because I got a pair of that brand from the aforementioned Filene's Basement, and they are so cute and sassy and SO COMFORTABLE. So these and these are going to fulfill my every shoe fantasy, right? Probably not. It just so happens that they are a ridiculously good price for shoes of that quality and comfort, if you ask me. Will buying these prevent me from buying new shoes in the fall? Probably not. Will it make me happy to have them? Sure. But is it dumb to buy them now knowing that its too freaking hot to wear them until at least one month from now, at the earliest?

Perhaps I should consider paying off my vacation before I consider buying two new pairs of shoes. But they are super cute, aren't they?

Phinally, Photos

2005-07-25T14:45:00.000-04:00

The tote herself (and my mom's torso):

The beautiful tote, with its lining (and gift) displayed:

The vintage button detail:

Totes and Totes

2005-07-25T08:34:00.000-04:00

This weekend I was so crafty. On Thursday I went to my cheap-o fabric store downtown and got some stuff for my sister's tote bag birthday present, as well as some great stretch cotton for a sundress pattern I got a while ago. Then, on Friday night I came home and made the tote. I didn't take pictures of the work-in-progress, but I do have some of my mother holding it up during the party, after my sister opened the gift.

But right now it seems like Flickr is being difficult, so I may not be able to post any photos just now. Trust me when I say it looks really cute. There is a contrast lining and I added a vintage shank button and a loop clasp, something I had never done before.

I forgot how easy it is to make those bags. Perhaps I'll start doing more of them, as they are so much fun! And, aside from the button (which I attached twice) it only took one hour. Yay for quick craftyness!

Second Day Hair

2005-07-22T15:10:00.000-04:00

I'm having a problem, and as I'm the only curly-head of my friends, I'm not sure who to turn to. Here's the deal. I have curly hair (see any photo on this lame-o blog) and I also have thin hair. My curls a big and ringlet-y, and sometimes fall out by the second day. And that's the big problem, since I only wash my hair every other day, so at least 3 days of the week, I am wearing day-old hair. Usually I just pull it back, but since the bad haircut, I can't do that without having the tiniest ponytail and tufts of fuzzy badness sticking out the top. While sleeping with the air conditioner, I've noticed that second day hair is better than normal, so I've started wearing it down. But, it needs something. A little ooomph. A little je ne sais quoi. I just don't know where to turn!

I would like something that I can spray onto my dry hair to give the curls a little bit more life and bring some shape back to the top/roots. I don't want a wax or anything that's hand-applied like that as it will only pull more curl out upon application. It needs to be something that can get on there that I can then smoosh around using my regular curl-with-gel-and-diffuser moves on hair washing days.

I've taken some time this afternoon to do some research and came up with one possibility - Catwalk Curls Rock Curl Booster. But who knows? Its $15 a bottle, which I think is a big investment in something I have no way of knowing will work (yes, I'm poor enough to translate $15 into 3 lunches or 5 Tasti-D-Lites). And yes, I am researching hair products while at work, but hey - its a summer Friday. Back off.

I don't know who even reads this thing anymore (or ever, for that matter) but if anyone has any suggestions about day-old curls, drop me a line and I'll give a big shout-out. In fact, there may even be a prize for someone who suggests something that works...

You Can't Eat Yogurt With A Fork

2005-07-21T14:54:00.000-04:00

I have been meaning to write so many things here, but work has been so crazy on a big deadline and the nights are just too hot to move, much less think.

My love for NYC definitely wanes in the summertime. You sweat your face off while waiting for the subway, only to be sandwiched between a fat smelly dude and a nearly naked lady whose damp hair keeps brushing against your arm once you finally catch your train. It just makes you want to stay home, until you remember that your apartment is actually an oven, even with the 3 fans you have pointed at your head at all times and the fact that you haven't worn anything more than underwear around the house in a week.

Last night I was actually inspired to do some designing and it just hurt too much to think. I do have some great ideas, though. If only it were cool enough to sit in front of the sewing machine! I suppose listing the things here couldn't hurt:

Deep scoop back tank top in the teal sweatshirt material (almost ready to go - I just have to modify one pattern and see how it works out)
Halter top in goodness knows what (probably a geometric print, if I can find one that I like), but design is schemed out, sort of
Some sort of skirt for the pink bubble/dot fabric that I love so much

Ok, so maybe it seemed like more last night. But it was more thinking than I had done at home in some time. Oh how I can't wait until the store closes and I have my weekends back! Joy! Just one more Sunday and one more full weekend and I'm so outta there. Freedom, here I come. I just hope the heat lets up so that I don't wind up wishing I was in the air conditioned store!

Ah, life

2005-07-18T14:36:00.000-04:00

I puked this morning. Three times. I hate puking. A lot.

I don't quite feel human. I have a sinus headache the size of North America. I'm pretty sure its unrelated to the puking, but it only makes things worse. Like puking. Have you tried it when your head is already killing you? True, it distracts from the extreme stomach cramping but what kind of bargain is that? I prefer better odds, personally.

I think its from my Pill. Last night was the first night of the new cycle, and sometimes I get queasy the next morning. But its never ever ever been like this. Only one other time did I actually dry heave, and it ended when I got some food in my belly. Today was a whole new world. One I don't wish to play in. But what's a girl to do? Stay home from work, that's right!

Alas, no rest for the weary. The upstairs assholes are playing basketball in the house, again. And the downstairs assholes are blaring bass so loud that I can feel it vibrating in my head and limbs when I rest my poor tired body on the couch. Stomping on the floor doesn't seem to help much... neither does poking at the ceiling with a broom. My only solace is that in one more hour, I'd due for more Sudafed.

I acutally have some interesting things I'm thinking about and would love to discuss here, but not today. Perhaps tomorrow, when I anticipate being more alive...

And I'm Back

2005-07-12T11:05:00.000-04:00

Here I am. Back in good old NYC. I missed it here! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE vacation and I truly loved Los Angeles, but it sure is good to be home in my own bed, with my own pillows, and my own shower, and my own everything.

I was thinking about the things to write here and the stories to tell, but I think its too much for all at once. So today, I will leave you with some photos and toss the adventures in one by one.

Mr. Johnny Walker, aka BBFE. This was after the wedding we attended. Way after. But isn't he so cute?

Me and my best friend, upon my arrival. Boy was it good to see her again. Blasted LA! Stealing my girl!

Me and my honey. Aw. Today is our first day apart, as he is back at work and I took a few extra days. I am experiencing withdrawl. Its kind of sick, actually.

More to come, as soon as I remember everything!

LALA Land

2005-07-07T16:39:00.000-04:00

I love LA. I really do.

We just ate some In-N-Out burgers. Yum. I was initially scared of the special sauce, but then grew to love it. And tonight is shabu-shabu and some kareoke (sp?). Yay. And previously, we did more eating (g-d bless my neverending hunger) and some sightseeing. Nothing too touristy, but still enough to see the city. And I love the driving! Its so much fun and I rarely get to do it these days.

And, my bestest friend will be there, and I'm so glad to have this time with her now.

More upon my return!

I'm Back And Then I'm Gone

2005-07-04T15:12:00.000-04:00

We safely returned from Toronto. It was great. Saying it was great doesn't quite do it justice, but I don't know what else to say right now. It was so incredible to meet Mike's family and be a part of their world for a little while. Seeing someone's history is a great way to really become a part of their life - you learn where habits come from, why he says that word a certain way, why his favoite Aunt is truly his favorite Aunt... it was great.

The CN Tower peeking out

And now Blogger won't let me post any more photos - I had a great one of the shawl making her debut. Oh well. I'll try again later. And I'll figure out how to include a gallery... I have a lot to learn here!

Off to LA tomorrow morning. And when I say morning, I mean our flight is at 6:45 AM. Um, that's really early.

And We're Off!

2005-06-30T22:41:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow morning we leave for Toronto. Pics to come on Sunday when we return!

Thar She Blocks!

2005-06-29T19:06:00.000-04:00

I did it! I finished the bindoff and I soaked and then I rolled (thanks Carrie!) and then I pinned.

I just hope she dries before we get on the plane on Friday morning! Its so super humid here that its hard to breathe, much less hope that a wet wool shawl (MY wet wool shawl) will dry.

She soaks.

She is pinned.

She is very close.

She is even closer.

And I am in love.

Almost There

2005-06-29T09:25:00.000-04:00

I am almost finished. Last night I skipped the gym (in my defense, I ran on Sunday and Monday and thus deserved the break) and did the shawl. Its so hard doing those last rows. My fingers ached and it was so hot in my apartment. I had to drop to my skivvies to hold all that wool on my lap. I had 8 rows to go. And I did them. I did four rows and then did the dishes. I did two rows and then did my arm weights. And then I decided to do the last two rows, even though I was exhausted. I only got so far:

What you see is 1/4 of the bind off row. By that time I had no patience left. But this morning after eating breakfast (and while dawdling with my getting-ready-ness) I got past the center marker. So, I now have half a bind off row to go. I am SO proud of how it looks. And I actually think that the color looks right in the photo, too.

Tonight, my plan is to go to the gym, then finish binding off and block. Hopefully it will dry before my plane leaves on Friday morning!

Shawl Slut

2005-06-28T13:01:00.000-04:00

I haven't even finished my Leaf Lace shawl (8 rows to go) and I've gone and bought more yarn for a new one. In my defense, this one is for my upcoming travels - a weekend trip to Toronto followed by a week-long trip to Los Angeles.

I got this...

...to make this. I got the pattern even before I got the one for the Leaf Lace shawl and never did anything with it. I thought I would do another Koigu one, and even got some yarn for it but after the LL shawl I am not quite ready to dive into another fingering weight yarn. So, the Lorna's Laces sportweight seemed like the right thing to do. The colors look SOOOOO nice all wound up into cakes. Sigh. I'll be doing it on size 8 needles. I think that sounds about right.

I just hope that the airline security doesn't steal my needles! If anyone has any advice on how to transport the project so that I can knit on the plane, please let me know.

No other photos today... I am limiting myself to the finished LL shawl. I think I could do the 8 rows tonight... if I skip my run!

All's well that ends well... almost

2005-06-27T08:36:00.000-04:00

I have the camera. I have the work to post about. But it seems that somewhere along the way, the g-ds stopped smiling.

On Friday, the day after the BBFE (best boyfriend ever) gifted me the camera, I decided it was high time to make my second skirt, and document the process. I only took a few photos, as I was so engrossed in the process that I didn't remember until all the fun stuff was over. But here's the pattern piece of the skirt front:

I was going and going and going and going, even through inserting the invisible zipper:

And here is what happened next:

Yes, that's a few hundred yards of thread (not all pictured), which I yanked out of the bobbin. No, its not bobbin thread. Its sewing thread, the top thread, which should not be pulled out of the bobbin casing. Um, so what happened? I had to wind a new bobbin, because all of the ones my aunt gave me with the machine were used up. I haven't wound a bobbin since my first sewing class over one year ago. And I forgot how. So, while I was figuring it out using trial and error, i.e. winding the bobbin while NOT disengaging the needle from the motor, I was actually forcing thread through the system and around all of the inner workings of the machine. Um, yeah. Super bad. So bad that the thing Stopped Working. And so did my heart.

I had fully intended on finishing the skirt on Friday night. But with no machine, and the waistband facing and hem still to go, how on earth was I going to manage that? Since inheriting the machine, I have become a hand-sewing snob (rightly so). So I pouted. And I consulted my "budget" to see about reapairs v. buying a new machine. And I almost cried a little. But let's fast forward to Sunday morning... and the BBFE's amazing skills in yet another area. The dude takes the machine apart and fixes it. Say wha'?

He's in there with tweezers, my seam ripper and a screwdriver, and he fixes my machine. My hero.

Unfortunately, after working at the store all weekend I got lazy and only finished the waistband last night. I still have to do the hem, and then I'm all set. Finished picture to come tomorrow!

The pretty baby

2005-06-26T21:55:00.000-04:00

The pretty baby
Originally uploaded by megannkerri.

I'm tring different ways to get the picture to post to Blogger. I'll be darned pissed if I have to go through flickr every time I want to put a picture up...